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Message: <blockquote data-quote="kookalouris" data-source="post: 4258895" data-attributes="member: 23872">Why Sam might be devoted to the Witching Hour[SBLOCK=OOC]Now that I have gotten the last game post done and not hindered game pace.Let me tell you a little about why I see Samantha the way I do.A few years ago, in an attempt to save my worthless, dead-end job, I had myself checked out for possible ADD.  This started me on a varying series of supplements, diet and medications.  As it turns out, I don't likely have ADD, more likely atypical OCD and depression.  With every passing month, I become more aware of what works for me and what doesn't.  If I were a betting man, I would say, I will have my symptoms fully under control within a year and will be living a life I couldn't have imagined a few years ago.What does this have to do with Samantha?Why I am telling you this?I will try and answer both questions.Up into a few years ago, I had what I thought were crippling characters flaws.  I drifted, never applied myself, disappointed myself and others.When my skeptical self tried a certain dietary supplement, it improved my mood.  But what really mattered was that this particular supplement wouldn't do anything for the vast majority of people and usually worked for people with the same personality 'flaws' as myself.This is a similar situation to Sam. She lost her crew and there is no rational reason for their (presumed) death or her survival.  Barring the supernatural, the most likely explanation is that Sam 'cracked' and got her crew killed.  Had she seen some kind of Mythos creature in-flight, her mind would have blocked out the transcendental horror of it.  A rational woman, after being rescued, would have interpreted any traumatic flashbacks as hallucinations and her subsequent protective amnesia as repression of her guilt.In short, given what she has witnessed, if there is no such thing as the supernatural, Sam must be crazy and the cause of her crash.But if there is ever any proof whatsoever of the supernatural (and we players know that there will be sooner or later), then Samantha can finally......realize that her sanity might be damaged but she is not insane......realize that she was not the cause of people that she cared for and loved being lost......that maybe she has a chance for public redemption and revenge...With so much at stake, as I see it, Sam has no greater mission now than to prove she is sane and rational.  And the best way for her to do that is to search for any proof that truly supernatural (literally, 'beyond nature') phenomena exist.  Whatever she finds may not be the particular phenomenon she survived over Bermuda but any proof would be one step on the long journey towards salvation.This echoes true in my life.Once I learned that all of my troubles might have a physical cause, either a lack or malabsorption of a certain nutrient, than all the flaws I blamed myself for (at times, hated myself for) for were not my fault.Not only that, but these failings in my personality might be treatable conditions.  I might not have to suffer from them for the rest of my life.At that point, I was determined to learn more.  I began to research, really research, to the point where I sometimes advise (and gently correct) my doctor.  At one point, I bought a book called 'You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?' after only reading the well-chosen title.  As it turns out, I don't most likely don't have ADD, but such was the promise of that title I still bought the book.  I spent my disposable income and beyond on various vitamins, doctors, medications and supplements.  I can honestly say that this has been the driving passion of my life for the past two years or so.All for the chance of better self-confidence and self-esteem.When I started, two years ago, I had a dead-end job, and had to essentially help myself, being unable to afford real medical help.Now, today, I have improved to the point that I have a job that can fund my continuing improvement and much of the work has already been done, (I know what does work for me, and just as necessary, what doesn't work for me.).  Life is good and getting better.Why am I telling you this?I've no reason to be ashamed of what may be a treatable imbalance of not-yet-isolated nutrients (another grace from the past two years).  But I normally don't overpower others with my personal struggles.  In this case, it helped the game.  But there is another reason...Playing the odds, about one-in-a-hundred people have issues similar to my own, though for any number of causes.  Most have no idea why they struggle so.  Playing the odds further, with this many players in the game, most likely a player might recognize someone in their own life dealing with these issues.  If, through y'all, this post helps anyone else (even if just to confirm that my problems aren't their troubles), this game will have already rewarded me beyond my expectations (and the game is pretty excellent so far).With that in mind, I will reveal a little more about the very tiny part of these troubles I might have some insight in.  I believe that all of my troubles stem from a not-uncommon difference in how serotonin is processed and transmitted in the brain.  In my case, the nutritional supplement Inositol has worked the best.  Inositol is known to help OCD symptoms in many.  The working theory is that Inositol helps to de-sensitize numbed serotonin receptors on the part of the brain that makes confident decisions.  When such an area is numbed, common side effects are indecision as well as an inablity to confirm actions and intentions as completed (thus, the nervous and never-relieved repetitions of OCD).Like I said, if this helps anyone, I was happy to type it.And, more than I have meant in any other post before, I will be happy to answer what questions I can about this post... <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />Gerry[/SBLOCK]</blockquote>

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