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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Aenghus" data-source="post: 6237883" data-attributes="member: 2656">RPGs have been around for 4 decades or so. some players have a lot of experience of playing the game, and often running it themselves. Older people often have less free time, a better idea of what they want from the game, and what directions they want to take their characters. I find messing around with players like this to be actively counterproductive. You can urge or motivate them to try something different, but unilaterally forcing the game into an entirely different direction could be disastrous. The bad old way of dealing with such problems is the way of the dictator, ignoring it, crushing dissent and refusing to discuss such issues. This may work when riding herd on unruly teenagers, but I don't think it's appropriate  as the default approach nowadays. I find some debate on these issues, preferably outside the game proper  works better for all concerned.I have personally seen enough "DM decides everything" games (not all, but enough) turn into disasters, as the DM  ignored or twisted what the players wanted and imposed his worldview on them, producing a terrible game for all concerned. It's the style of play I personally find most prone to failure as a player. Obviously, it works for some other groups, but I have seen some give and take be far more productive.I prefer to facilitate players in their ambitions for their PCs. Now, facilitating them doesn't mean total wish fulfillment, but it does mean taking them into account in my plans and development of the gameworld, and not riding roughshod over their ambitions just because they don't suit me and/or my plot. If their ambitions aren't reasonable to me I flag the issues and discuss what can be changed - sometimes they change my mind, sometimes there's a mutual misunderstanding to clarify, sometimes I put my foot down if I can't see a viable compromise. The thing is, in these forum discussions, we don't get context. We don't see or hear the game as it is actually run, don't see how the referee or players are treated in practise, and tend to fill in the gap with our imaginations and how we as players would react to the game style as described. I don;t think many posters here run their games as nightmare railroads or brave new worlds, but it's impossible to be sure due to the narrow bandwidth.</blockquote>

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