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Story Hour
[Firefly] Ruthless Bastards of the 'Verse (Completed 3/6/09)
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<blockquote data-quote="Ao the Overkitty" data-source="post: 2816529" data-attributes="member: 9758"><p><strong>Synopsis of 5/08/06 session</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>“Episode 7 – There’s Something in Them Thar Hills ” - Second Session</strong></span></p><p></p><p><em>Synopsis of 5/08/06 session -subtitled <strong>Daniel Gets Annoyed at the Locals</strong></em></p><p></p><p>Still on the Alliance cruiser, Jack sat in a private room at a cortex terminal. He would have rather liked to have this conversation three sheets to the wind, but that wasn’t an option. A rather pretty blonde woman of about thirty appeared on screen. Her clothes were elegant and accentuated her beauty. Her face looked like it would dazzle with a smile. But there was no smile upon it now. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she blew her nose into a handkerchief. From the puffiness of her face, it looked like she had been crying for a while now.</p><p></p><p><strong>Jack:</strong> <em>I’m very sorry that I had to bring you this news, Irené. I wish we could have seen each other again under much better circumstances. I know Maxx was planning a barbeque back on Sihnon in a couple months. Captain Marcus Bryant is looking after the body. I’m told he’ll be buried with full honors in Arlington.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Irené:</strong> <em>And those sons of bitches that did this to my husband?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Jack:</strong> <em>We haven’t apprehended them yet, but we’re on their trail. With any luck, we’ll have them before long.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Irené:</strong> <em>I’m coming out there.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Jack:</strong> <em> Irené, you can count on me to see this through. Elizabeth only has you now. You can’t just go gallivanting off past the edges of civilization on some vengeance quest, because that’s what this will be. You need to take care of your daughter and grieve your husband’s death.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Irené:</strong> <em> I need to do this, Jack. I won’t be able to properly grieve until Maxx is in the ground and those responsible are behind bars or sharing the ground with him. My sister will take care of Elizabeth for a few months. I’m a fair shot and can pilot a boat. I just need to put a crew together and make some arrangements before we’re off. I need to look the bastard that killed Maxx in the eye. My only question is, will you help me?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Jack:</strong> <em>I maintain my opinion that this is a foolish and insane action, but I’ll help. Elizabeth isn’t going to grow up without knowing either of her parents.</em></p><p></p><p>************************</p><p></p><p>In the morning, a knocking rang out on the NotADoor in their cargo bay. A bleary-eyed Campan wandered over to look outside and was partially blinded by the evil sun’s rays. He saw Farmer John standing there next to a little brown haired boy of about ten years old or so.</p><p></p><p><strong>Farmer John:</strong> <em>Howdy, Campan.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Hi Farmer John. What’cha got there?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Farmer John:</strong> <em>Oh. The farm up the way wanted to know if you’d take Little Jimmy into town. He could show you the way.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>I, uh, oh boy, uh wait here. I’m going to go get the guy in charge. Last time I made decisions bad things happened.</em></p><p></p><p>Campan wandered off to go find Daniel. He quickly filled Daniel in on the nonspecifics.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>I don’t want a kid either.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Well, then you do something about it!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>He’s your friend.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>But you’re in charge. You officially turn him down. Then I’m not the bad guy and he’ll give me more hooch.</em></p><p></p><p>Asta showed up and they discussed for a short while with Campan explaining that they might actually need a guide, since nothing is ever ‘just over that hill.’ Campan also postulated that the parents of the kid might be in a deal with the devil where they have to keep giving up their kids. Daniel reckoned that, if they turned down the kid, they turned down the mule.</p><p></p><p>Eventually they wandered down to the cargo bay to talk to the kid. Since they weren’t hung over like Campan, Daniel and Asta noticed that the little boy had a large pack on his back and a bow slung over his shoulder.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Morning John.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Farmer John:</strong> <em>Morning.</em> (tips hat to Asta) <em>Morning Ma’am.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel talked with Farmer John about taking Little Jimmy into town.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>I’d hate to be the one to bring bad news if, uh, the town ate him.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Liz:</strong> <em>Only, he says that all suave like. Cause, sometimes you have to r o l e play and sometimes you have to r o l l play.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Gabe:</strong> <em>Daniel is all suave-like when he wants to be. Otherwise he’s rather standoffish.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Ican handle meself!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>You ever kill anything with that bow, son?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Sure have! Wild Animals. Crows, birds, big things.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>How far is this here town?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Bout day an a half. </em></p><p></p><p>Daniel peered over at ‘that hill’ that the town was over. He figured it’d take several hours to walk there, not a day and half’s ride.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> (to Campan) <em>You might have a point there.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Right. I’m Useful. A resource. A natural resource.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Paul:</strong> <em>You know what people do with natural resources, right?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> <em>Not a natural resource. An unnatural resource.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel found out that Big Jim was the first to not come back two months ago and Jim was the second about a month ago. Little Jimmy said he was the only other Jimmy, but that he had five other little brothers. Little Jimmy also said his parents weren’t worried about him, since he was big enough and could handle himself. Farmer John just stood there drinking hooch while Little Jimmy answered Daniel’s questions.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Do his parents know that he’s going off to town.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Farmer John:</strong> <em>Oh yeah. He told me they did. He don’t lie.</em></p><p></p><p>When asked, Little Jimmy explained that he needed to go into town for some parts for the thresher.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>We’ll take you into town, but we don’t hold no responsibilities bout what you do when you get there or what happens there. If we see you hanging around when we’re leaving, we’ll gladly give you a lift home, but we going right now, we’ve got some injured crew. We can’t go around sheparding you up on your business as well. And make sure your pappy is okay with this too. You say you can take care of yourself.</em></p><p></p><p>Asta looked the boy over and determined that he looked like your average farm boy. He did seem to have a pack on his back about half his weight, so he looked strong enough.</p><p></p><p>Mort wandered down and saw the crew talking to Farmer John and a little boy. He wandered over.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>You have any cigars?</em></p><p></p><p>Farmer John shook his head. Little Jimmy reached into his pack and pulled put a paper envelope. And handed it to Mort. He found some chew inside and was disappointed. He put his unlit cigar stub in his mouth.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Sir, we need to leave immediately. It’s imperative.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort looked the mule over and made the bed area into a bed area (pillows, cushions, and blankets). He didn’t really understand the crew’s need to check up on the boy.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Oh yeah, cause if they catch us, kidnapping is going to be SUCH a big problem on their list.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Cause our XO said we should. He’s got a case of the conscience.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>I have a case of avoiding the hassle!</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel went back up to his bunk to get his brown coat, shotgun, and a cup of coffee. He came back to find Take sitting in the driver’s seat, Campan sitting shotgun, and Mort laying down in the bed. After a brief conversation between Take and Daniel about who was driving, Daniel ended up sitting in the backseat. Little Jimmy happily sat in the middle seat. </p><p></p><p>Asta went and found Jenny to tell her they were going into town. She offered to pick Jenny up some dresses. Jenny told her green was her color.</p><p></p><p>When Asta got on the mule, she sat on the other side of Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy stared at her for a good part of the trip over to his folks’ farm.</p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>Yes?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Don’t see women around here much.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort leaned into the backseat.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> (to Little Jimmy) <em>You want to sit down, shut up and be very, very quiet from now on. Trust me.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>How do you have so many brothers around if there aren’t many women around?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>There’s ma Ma.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>She’s a woman, ain’t she?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Guess… She’s Ma.</em></p><p></p><p>At the farm house, they met Little Jimmy’s little brother, Big Johnny, along with his Pappy. They quickly verified Little Jimmy’s story before heading on. Mort laughed when Campan said they’d hopefully bring him back in one piece.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Okay. We’ve verified that.</em> (points off in a slightly random direction)<em> Okay, that way, Take.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (points in a different direction) <em>No, that way.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> (corrects his pointing) <em>That way, Take.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>Vrooom!</em></p><p></p><p>And they were off.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> (to Daniel) <em>Sir. Why don’t you introduce yourself to the boy.</em></p><p></p><p>*<em>Campan laughes</em>*</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>He’s already met me.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Did you tell him your name?</em> (pause) <em> Cause we should be very clear what your name is.</em></p><p></p><p>*<em>Daniel looks at Campan, then shakes his head</em>*</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>We need the practice, sir.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Jimmy?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Yeah?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>My name is Bill Wilcox.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Okay?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>We didn’t get that out before.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Okay?</em></p><p></p><p>Mort introduced himself as Chris Smith, Campan as Campan, Take as ‘Jean sometimes called Take by Campan only,’ and Asta as Doc.</p><p></p><p>As they drove along, Campan regaled Little Jimmy with stories.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>There was this one time, in a whore house, wow. That was crazy. There was a messed up whore. Got a cut up face.</em></p><p></p><p>Campan ended up having to explain that a whore was a woman who didn’t wear knickers.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Knickers are those things you wear under clothes.</em></p><p></p><p>*<em>Little Jimmy looks in his pants</em>*</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>That women wear under clothes. Stop that.</em></p><p></p><p>*<em>Daniel cocks his shotgun</em>*</p><p></p><p>Little Jimmy asked lots of questions, mostly about beating people up. Campan talked about guys with machine guns for hands. He then had to explain that a machine gun was like a shotgun, but faster. When asked, Take said he beat people up all the time. Campan confirmed this, adding that he did it with little, plastic dinosaurs.</p><p></p><p>Little Jimmy then pointed to Mort.</p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (to Take) <em>Did you beat him up?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Nobody beat me up. I got shot!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Wow! Did that hurt?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> yeah.</em></p><p></p><p>They then had to explain what <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> meant. Asta said they were things that his pappy would take a belt to him if he said. Mort said it was a word you don’t say in church. Take said it was what you did to whores. Mort then rattled off a bunch of swears and told Little Jimmy not to ask about them and Asta added that he shouldn’t repeat them to his pappy.</p><p></p><p>The journey so far had been fairly boring, hence the corruption of youth. A few trees, lots of grass and lots of hills. When it got close to dark, Take begrudgingly stopped.</p><p></p><p>Campan and Jimmy collected stones and built a fire pit and fire. Asta checked Mort’s stitches.</p><p></p><p>Once unoccupied, Little Jimmy ran up a hill to look around.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Anything good up there?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Yeahp!</em></p><p></p><p>Little Jimmy then pulled his bow off his shoulder and shot an arrow at something. Campan recognized the sound of a cow mooing in pain, then heard a thump.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Jimmy, what are you shooting at?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>One of the big things!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> (to Daniel) <em>Can we keep the cow, sir?</em></p><p></p><p>Campan ran up the hill after Jimmy. He found Jimmy smiling proudly over his dead cow.</p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (pointing at cow) <em>Dinner!</em></p><p></p><p>Asta wandered up after then and looked to see if the cow was branded, but she found none.</p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>You know, if you tame these things, you can get milk out of them.</em></p><p></p><p>Little Jimmy looked dumbfounded. Campan cut out a large chunk of the cow to make into steaks.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> (to Jimmy) <em>You are going to be everyone’s new best friend.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort woke up to the smell of meat cooking. When Asta handed him a steak on a stick, he stabbed it with a screwdriver and started enjoying his protein.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> (between chews) <em>Where’d this come from?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Little Jimmy!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>Little Jimmy found a cow.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> <em>I killed one of the big things!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>Didn’t find a brand on it.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>It’s called a cow.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Ah, good. Did you get the leather?</em></p><p></p><p>Campan and Asta set about cutting off the skin and meat off the cow, then Campan set up the meat to smoke over the fire.</p><p></p><p>Campan took first watch. He was a little groggy from all the steak, but managed to stay awake. Campan woke Daniel up by hitting him with a cow eyeball. Daniel had no problems on second watch. Take decided to do third watch in the driver’s seat with his eyes closed. When Mort woke up in the morning, the only person he found awake was Little Jimmy, who was poking at the fire’s coals. Mort went over to Asta and woke her up, letting her know it was morning and no one woke her up. Asta found the cow eyeball, holding it by the optic nerve and stood over Take, bopping him in the nose with it. Take woke up to a big eyeball looking into his eye. Asta threatened him with caffeine shots for the next night.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>Little Jimmy. I think you’re a good luck charm. I think we’re going to keep you. Not gonna feed you to the Reavers.</em></p><p></p><p>They then had to explain what a Reaver was.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Okay. Take all those words we taught you yesterday and string them all together. That’s a Reaver.</em></p><p></p><p>While Take sat around watching the others work on breaking camp, he thought he heard some hoof beats. He asked Little Jimmy if lots of people used horses around here. Jimmy responded that his pa had a horse. Take told the others that he thought someone was coming so they should expedite their leaving. Daniel had Campan run up one of the hills to take a look while Take ran up the hill on the other side of their camp.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Hey Jimmy. You know what covering fire means?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (pause) <em>When you put fire on top of something?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>No. Get in the mule.</em></p><p></p><p>Up at the top of the hill, Campan could see many people on horseback riding towards them. Up on the other hill, Take could also see many armed people on horseback riding towards them. Take ran back down the hill while Campan stayed up on his, wondering if he should start picking people off.</p><p></p><p>Take hopped in the mule and told the others there were armed men coming on horseback. Asta quickly followed.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>We’re moving now. There is no packing of this mule. Get in the vehicle. Let’s go.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Um, everyone’s in the vehicle but you… and Campan.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel got in the mule. Take tried starting up the mule. It sputtered and groaned. Mort reached over the side and thwacked the side. The mule started up.</p><p></p><p>As Take started driving, Daniel yelled for Campan to get down and get in the mule. Even with the mule going at full speed, Campan was able to catch up. He leapt into the bed of the mule, taking aim for Mort. He was half successful, with his body half hanging out the back and his head connecting with Mort’s kneecap. Mort pulled Campan up into the mule by his underwear.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>That’s how we know he’s not a whore.</em></p><p></p><p>As they drove along, they could see the men on horses come up along the ridgeline on both sides. They followed them along the ridge, but didn’t pull their guns. Some came down the ridge behind them, but just followed them at a distance. Up ahead, the crew could see some more men on horses coming down to stop along the path, blocking it.</p><p></p><p>Daniel asked Jimmy if he knew about this, but he said no. Daniel then asked if Jimmy knew who these people were.</p><p></p><p><strong>Little Jimmy:</strong> (squeaky voice) <em>Aliens?</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel told Jimmy to tie himself to something while Mort asking him if he knew a guy named Jasp. Jimmy said he didn’t as he climbed underneath his seat. Campan and Mort put on their bandanas. Take wanted to blast past the horses and outrun them, but Mort pointed out that Campan was able to catch up to the mule. Asta suggested they talk to these people while Daniel was looking for a defensible position to start shooting from.</p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>Why don’t we go and talk to these guys? I think that’s a novel idea!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>What makes you think we’re doing anything else?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>You all have guns out!</em></p><p></p><p>Take still didn’t look like he was going to stop, so Daniel pointed out that a horse was going to stop the mule for good. Take stopped the mule about an inch in front of one of the horses. The horse tried to bawk, but the man kept the horse under control.</p><p></p><p>The people were all men, ranging from their twenties to their fifties. They all had long hair, long beards and weird, long sideburns. They all wore hats to keep out the sun and their horses had rudimentary saddles on them. The man they stopped in front of was older, with a long, grey beard.</p><p></p><p>Take tried the horn, but it didn’t work.</p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>Um, you do realize we’re trying to get through, don’t you?</em></p><p></p><p>Several of the crew smacked Take.</p><p></p><p><strong>Old Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>דוע אתה חודר לאדמות שלנו והורג את הבקר שלנו?</em></p><p></p><p>Clearly none of the crew had any clue what he had just said. Daniel popped up in his seat to look over Take.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Howdy.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> (to rest of crew) <em>Did you hear what he said?</em></p><p></p><p>The old man turned to his side and waved a younger man closer.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>How.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>No. Not Indian, English.</em></p><p></p><p>Take got whapped again.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>How.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>No. Why. Why is he in the road?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>We’re trying to pass through.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>You kill cow.</em></p><p></p><p>The crew argued amongst themselves about whether or not they knew of or killed a cow and whether or not that was a problem.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Group cow. You on our land.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Obviously that was a misunderstanding. We were told that was normal around these parts.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>You come to our land. You take our livestock. You take our land.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort asked if they needed anything fixed. Asta asked if they had told the locals that this was their land.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>We locals!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>How long have you been local? Been here?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>We’ll give you these shiny beads.</em></p><p></p><p>Take got whapped again.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Two hundred years.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Have other people come through these parts? And have you stopped them? Have they killed cows?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>People encroach on our land. We stop them. You encroach on our land.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort asked them what they wanted for the cow. The man responded another cow. </p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>We can arrange services here, but if you’re kidnapping people in these parts for killing cows that they don’t know are yours. They don’t know you’re here. You can’t hardly expect them to not know the cows are yours.</em></p><p></p><p>Fortunately for the crew, Daniel’s rant was far too wordy for the man to fully pick up. </p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Our land! Not theirs!</em></p><p></p><p>Campan asked how they could help fix things.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> (gestures towards Asta) <em>You want maiden?</em></p><p></p><p>Mort slapped Campan on the head. Asta threatened to make Campan into a maiden.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>What do you want for the cow?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Cow!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>You want cow parts?</em></p><p></p><p>Mort slapped Campan on the head again. Daniel asked what happened to the others who came through. Mort said he’d translate and asked what it would take for them to let the group through to get to town. Campan looked ready to talk, so Mort slapped him a third time.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Make people leave!</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> (muttering) <em>Hmm.. people tend to leave irradiated planets.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel told the man that he thought he could make people leave if they told them more. He then repeated that in as few words as possible. Mort told him he was improving.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>We been here long time. Since prophet Ezekial talk to god and build Ark. He lead us to new promised land. We crash on new Promised Land. And it was good, for a time. Then others come. They mess with planet. They mess with land. They bring others. They take our land. They take our livestock.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>So you want everyone off the planet?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>They on our land. God has shown us here. God not show them here.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort tried to get out of them how big the Promised Land was. He was nondescript, point at one hill, arching his arm over his head and pointing at another hill.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>From hill… to hill.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort translated that as meaning from horizon to horizon. Mort suggested building a fence and some signs. Campan counted about fifty people and decided they didn’t have enough ammo. Daniel tried to get more definitive boundaries for the Promised Land. The man mostly answered that the Promised Land was as large as god said it was. Take started talking about having talked to god last night. Daniel tried to determine if these people were nomads, but they didn’t look like it to him. Daniel reiterated that he thought they could make people leave. Asta muttered something about smallpox. This gave Mort a warm, fuzzy feeling because someone else was talking about genocide besides him. Mort asked the people what they were called.</p><p></p><p><strong>Younger Man on Horseback:</strong> <em>Pilgrims of Mount Sinai. Me Yossef.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort started to scribble their tribe’s name into his list, then scratched it out and wrote PMS. Daniel asked if there were other pilgrims. Yossef responded that they were many. Daniel asked if there were others of other mountains. Yossef responded that there weren’t. Daniel tried to find out where their people were, supposedly so they could go to them for help, but Yossef told them that they had scouts if they needed to be reached. Daniel then asked if they could go on their way or if they were going to hold them there longer.</p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>How we know you do what you say?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>We’ll leave Mort.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort smacked Campan again.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Well, frankly, you don’t, but I’m going to need everyone here to get the job done.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>We need insurance.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort reached under the seats and grabbed Jimmy’s ankle, yanking him out.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Sir. We don’t need this party member.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Take:</strong> <em>I don’t know. He may be the best party member we have. I mean, he did kill a cow on his own.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Yeah, that’s why we’re here. I told his folks we’d get him to town safely and then <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> him.</em></p><p></p><p>Mort flung Jimmy from the mule for his own safety.</p><p></p><p><strong>Campan:</strong> <em>I’m not <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />ing any children! I don’t care what your orders are.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>I didn’t know these things about you, sir.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel told Jimmy to get back into the mule. Yossef pointed at Mort and said he looked sick and couldn’t make the ride. Daniel said that Mort did make the ride and he wasn’t staying.</p><p></p><p>Asta, in her typical arrogance, questioned Yossef’s tribe’s honor, since they were questioning theirs. He said they weren’t originally from here either and had shown no proof that they would keep their word. Yossef said they were god’s people and trustworthy. And this was their land, not the others. </p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>We been here long time. God showed us the way. God did not show them the way. God did not show you the way.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>How do you know?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>I’m pretty sure god didn’t show us the way either.</em></p><p></p><p>Asta poked Mort in his stitches.</p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>Are you saying you talk to god?</em></p><p></p><p>Mort slapped his hand over Asta’s mouth.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>No, she’s not saying that. Cause religious holy wars are bad.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>You strange people.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Mort:</strong> <em>Yes.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Asta:</strong> <em>We do not wish to stay on your lands. We do not wish to encroach on your lands. We only wish to go to town.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>Town on our lands.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>How could they build a town on your lands, have the time to build that, and you not stopping them?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>Town not on our lands. Town grow. Town on our lands.</em></p><p></p><p>Asta asked if they had ever sent someone to talk to the townspeople. Yossef replied that that they had, but he never returned.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Your negotiator... you know what a negotiator is? You know the word?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>Rabbi.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel asked if the rabbi spoke English, to which Yossef responded that he had spoken as much as he did. Daniel told him that they had to let his group go and trust them, or there was going to be a bloody mess and they’d lose far more members of their tribe than they’d want and would get nothing.</p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>You pass test. We accept deal.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Thank you.</em></p><p></p><p>There was then a long pause as the two group’s stare at each other.</p><p></p><p><strong>Daniel:</strong> <em>Are you going to get out of our way?</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Yossef:</strong> <em>No. </em>(pause) <em>You follow us back to camp. You pass test.</em></p><p></p><p>Daniel sighed and agreed. After all, this served his plan. He discussed his plan quietly with the others in Chinese as they followed them back to camp. The plan included finding out where their camp was so they could come back later and force these people to move off planet.</p><p></p><p><strong><em>Fade to Black</em></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ao the Overkitty, post: 2816529, member: 9758"] [b]Synopsis of 5/08/06 session[/b] [size=5][b]“Episode 7 – There’s Something in Them Thar Hills ” - Second Session[/b][/size] [i]Synopsis of 5/08/06 session -subtitled [b]Daniel Gets Annoyed at the Locals[/b][/i] Still on the Alliance cruiser, Jack sat in a private room at a cortex terminal. He would have rather liked to have this conversation three sheets to the wind, but that wasn’t an option. A rather pretty blonde woman of about thirty appeared on screen. Her clothes were elegant and accentuated her beauty. Her face looked like it would dazzle with a smile. But there was no smile upon it now. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she blew her nose into a handkerchief. From the puffiness of her face, it looked like she had been crying for a while now. [b]Jack:[/b] [i]I’m very sorry that I had to bring you this news, Irené. I wish we could have seen each other again under much better circumstances. I know Maxx was planning a barbeque back on Sihnon in a couple months. Captain Marcus Bryant is looking after the body. I’m told he’ll be buried with full honors in Arlington.[/i] [b]Irené:[/b] [i]And those sons of bitches that did this to my husband?[/i] [b]Jack:[/b] [i]We haven’t apprehended them yet, but we’re on their trail. With any luck, we’ll have them before long.[/i] [b]Irené:[/b] [i]I’m coming out there.[/i] [b]Jack:[/b] [i] Irené, you can count on me to see this through. Elizabeth only has you now. You can’t just go gallivanting off past the edges of civilization on some vengeance quest, because that’s what this will be. You need to take care of your daughter and grieve your husband’s death.[/i] [b]Irené:[/b] [i] I need to do this, Jack. I won’t be able to properly grieve until Maxx is in the ground and those responsible are behind bars or sharing the ground with him. My sister will take care of Elizabeth for a few months. I’m a fair shot and can pilot a boat. I just need to put a crew together and make some arrangements before we’re off. I need to look the bastard that killed Maxx in the eye. My only question is, will you help me?[/i] [b]Jack:[/b] [i]I maintain my opinion that this is a foolish and insane action, but I’ll help. Elizabeth isn’t going to grow up without knowing either of her parents.[/i] ************************ In the morning, a knocking rang out on the NotADoor in their cargo bay. A bleary-eyed Campan wandered over to look outside and was partially blinded by the evil sun’s rays. He saw Farmer John standing there next to a little brown haired boy of about ten years old or so. [b]Farmer John:[/b] [i]Howdy, Campan.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Hi Farmer John. What’cha got there?[/i] [b]Farmer John:[/b] [i]Oh. The farm up the way wanted to know if you’d take Little Jimmy into town. He could show you the way.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]I, uh, oh boy, uh wait here. I’m going to go get the guy in charge. Last time I made decisions bad things happened.[/i] Campan wandered off to go find Daniel. He quickly filled Daniel in on the nonspecifics. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]I don’t want a kid either.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Well, then you do something about it![/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]He’s your friend.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]But you’re in charge. You officially turn him down. Then I’m not the bad guy and he’ll give me more hooch.[/i] Asta showed up and they discussed for a short while with Campan explaining that they might actually need a guide, since nothing is ever ‘just over that hill.’ Campan also postulated that the parents of the kid might be in a deal with the devil where they have to keep giving up their kids. Daniel reckoned that, if they turned down the kid, they turned down the mule. Eventually they wandered down to the cargo bay to talk to the kid. Since they weren’t hung over like Campan, Daniel and Asta noticed that the little boy had a large pack on his back and a bow slung over his shoulder. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Morning John.[/i] [b]Farmer John:[/b] [i]Morning.[/i] (tips hat to Asta) [i]Morning Ma’am.[/i] Daniel talked with Farmer John about taking Little Jimmy into town. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]I’d hate to be the one to bring bad news if, uh, the town ate him.[/i] [b]Liz:[/b] [i]Only, he says that all suave like. Cause, sometimes you have to r o l e play and sometimes you have to r o l l play.[/i] [b]Gabe:[/b] [i]Daniel is all suave-like when he wants to be. Otherwise he’s rather standoffish.[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Ican handle meself![/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]You ever kill anything with that bow, son?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Sure have! Wild Animals. Crows, birds, big things.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]How far is this here town?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Bout day an a half. [/i] Daniel peered over at ‘that hill’ that the town was over. He figured it’d take several hours to walk there, not a day and half’s ride. [b]Daniel:[/b] (to Campan) [i]You might have a point there.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Right. I’m Useful. A resource. A natural resource.[/i] [b]Paul:[/b] [i]You know what people do with natural resources, right?[/i] [b]Ryan:[/b] [i]Not a natural resource. An unnatural resource.[/i] Daniel found out that Big Jim was the first to not come back two months ago and Jim was the second about a month ago. Little Jimmy said he was the only other Jimmy, but that he had five other little brothers. Little Jimmy also said his parents weren’t worried about him, since he was big enough and could handle himself. Farmer John just stood there drinking hooch while Little Jimmy answered Daniel’s questions. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Do his parents know that he’s going off to town.[/i] [b]Farmer John:[/b] [i]Oh yeah. He told me they did. He don’t lie.[/i] When asked, Little Jimmy explained that he needed to go into town for some parts for the thresher. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]We’ll take you into town, but we don’t hold no responsibilities bout what you do when you get there or what happens there. If we see you hanging around when we’re leaving, we’ll gladly give you a lift home, but we going right now, we’ve got some injured crew. We can’t go around sheparding you up on your business as well. And make sure your pappy is okay with this too. You say you can take care of yourself.[/i] Asta looked the boy over and determined that he looked like your average farm boy. He did seem to have a pack on his back about half his weight, so he looked strong enough. Mort wandered down and saw the crew talking to Farmer John and a little boy. He wandered over. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]You have any cigars?[/i] Farmer John shook his head. Little Jimmy reached into his pack and pulled put a paper envelope. And handed it to Mort. He found some chew inside and was disappointed. He put his unlit cigar stub in his mouth. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Sir, we need to leave immediately. It’s imperative.[/i] Mort looked the mule over and made the bed area into a bed area (pillows, cushions, and blankets). He didn’t really understand the crew’s need to check up on the boy. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Oh yeah, cause if they catch us, kidnapping is going to be SUCH a big problem on their list.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Cause our XO said we should. He’s got a case of the conscience.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]I have a case of avoiding the hassle![/i] Daniel went back up to his bunk to get his brown coat, shotgun, and a cup of coffee. He came back to find Take sitting in the driver’s seat, Campan sitting shotgun, and Mort laying down in the bed. After a brief conversation between Take and Daniel about who was driving, Daniel ended up sitting in the backseat. Little Jimmy happily sat in the middle seat. Asta went and found Jenny to tell her they were going into town. She offered to pick Jenny up some dresses. Jenny told her green was her color. When Asta got on the mule, she sat on the other side of Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy stared at her for a good part of the trip over to his folks’ farm. [b]Asta:[/b] [i]Yes?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Don’t see women around here much.[/i] Mort leaned into the backseat. [b]Mort:[/b] (to Little Jimmy) [i]You want to sit down, shut up and be very, very quiet from now on. Trust me.[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]How do you have so many brothers around if there aren’t many women around?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]There’s ma Ma.[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]She’s a woman, ain’t she?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Guess… She’s Ma.[/i] At the farm house, they met Little Jimmy’s little brother, Big Johnny, along with his Pappy. They quickly verified Little Jimmy’s story before heading on. Mort laughed when Campan said they’d hopefully bring him back in one piece. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Okay. We’ve verified that.[/i] (points off in a slightly random direction)[i] Okay, that way, Take.[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (points in a different direction) [i]No, that way.[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] (corrects his pointing) [i]That way, Take.[/i] [b]Take:[/b] [i]Vrooom![/i] And they were off. [b]Mort:[/b] (to Daniel) [i]Sir. Why don’t you introduce yourself to the boy.[/i] *[i]Campan laughes[/i]* [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]He’s already met me.[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Did you tell him your name?[/i] (pause) [i] Cause we should be very clear what your name is.[/i] *[i]Daniel looks at Campan, then shakes his head[/i]* [b]Mort:[/b] [i]We need the practice, sir.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Jimmy?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Yeah?[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]My name is Bill Wilcox.[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Okay?[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]We didn’t get that out before.[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Okay?[/i] Mort introduced himself as Chris Smith, Campan as Campan, Take as ‘Jean sometimes called Take by Campan only,’ and Asta as Doc. As they drove along, Campan regaled Little Jimmy with stories. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]There was this one time, in a whore house, wow. That was crazy. There was a messed up whore. Got a cut up face.[/i] Campan ended up having to explain that a whore was a woman who didn’t wear knickers. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Knickers are those things you wear under clothes.[/i] *[i]Little Jimmy looks in his pants[/i]* [b]Campan:[/b] [i]That women wear under clothes. Stop that.[/i] *[i]Daniel cocks his shotgun[/i]* Little Jimmy asked lots of questions, mostly about beating people up. Campan talked about guys with machine guns for hands. He then had to explain that a machine gun was like a shotgun, but faster. When asked, Take said he beat people up all the time. Campan confirmed this, adding that he did it with little, plastic dinosaurs. Little Jimmy then pointed to Mort. [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (to Take) [i]Did you beat him up?[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Nobody beat me up. I got shot![/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Wow! Did that hurt?[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]:):):):) yeah.[/i] They then had to explain what :):):):) meant. Asta said they were things that his pappy would take a belt to him if he said. Mort said it was a word you don’t say in church. Take said it was what you did to whores. Mort then rattled off a bunch of swears and told Little Jimmy not to ask about them and Asta added that he shouldn’t repeat them to his pappy. The journey so far had been fairly boring, hence the corruption of youth. A few trees, lots of grass and lots of hills. When it got close to dark, Take begrudgingly stopped. Campan and Jimmy collected stones and built a fire pit and fire. Asta checked Mort’s stitches. Once unoccupied, Little Jimmy ran up a hill to look around. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Anything good up there?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Yeahp![/i] Little Jimmy then pulled his bow off his shoulder and shot an arrow at something. Campan recognized the sound of a cow mooing in pain, then heard a thump. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Jimmy, what are you shooting at?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]One of the big things![/i] [b]Campan:[/b] (to Daniel) [i]Can we keep the cow, sir?[/i] Campan ran up the hill after Jimmy. He found Jimmy smiling proudly over his dead cow. [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (pointing at cow) [i]Dinner![/i] Asta wandered up after then and looked to see if the cow was branded, but she found none. [b]Asta:[/b] [i]You know, if you tame these things, you can get milk out of them.[/i] Little Jimmy looked dumbfounded. Campan cut out a large chunk of the cow to make into steaks. [b]Campan:[/b] (to Jimmy) [i]You are going to be everyone’s new best friend.[/i] Mort woke up to the smell of meat cooking. When Asta handed him a steak on a stick, he stabbed it with a screwdriver and started enjoying his protein. [b]Mort:[/b] (between chews) [i]Where’d this come from?[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Little Jimmy![/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]Little Jimmy found a cow.[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] [i]I killed one of the big things![/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]Didn’t find a brand on it.[/i] [b]Take:[/b] [i]It’s called a cow.[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Ah, good. Did you get the leather?[/i] Campan and Asta set about cutting off the skin and meat off the cow, then Campan set up the meat to smoke over the fire. Campan took first watch. He was a little groggy from all the steak, but managed to stay awake. Campan woke Daniel up by hitting him with a cow eyeball. Daniel had no problems on second watch. Take decided to do third watch in the driver’s seat with his eyes closed. When Mort woke up in the morning, the only person he found awake was Little Jimmy, who was poking at the fire’s coals. Mort went over to Asta and woke her up, letting her know it was morning and no one woke her up. Asta found the cow eyeball, holding it by the optic nerve and stood over Take, bopping him in the nose with it. Take woke up to a big eyeball looking into his eye. Asta threatened him with caffeine shots for the next night. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]Little Jimmy. I think you’re a good luck charm. I think we’re going to keep you. Not gonna feed you to the Reavers.[/i] They then had to explain what a Reaver was. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Okay. Take all those words we taught you yesterday and string them all together. That’s a Reaver.[/i] While Take sat around watching the others work on breaking camp, he thought he heard some hoof beats. He asked Little Jimmy if lots of people used horses around here. Jimmy responded that his pa had a horse. Take told the others that he thought someone was coming so they should expedite their leaving. Daniel had Campan run up one of the hills to take a look while Take ran up the hill on the other side of their camp. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Hey Jimmy. You know what covering fire means?[/i] [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (pause) [i]When you put fire on top of something?[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]No. Get in the mule.[/i] Up at the top of the hill, Campan could see many people on horseback riding towards them. Up on the other hill, Take could also see many armed people on horseback riding towards them. Take ran back down the hill while Campan stayed up on his, wondering if he should start picking people off. Take hopped in the mule and told the others there were armed men coming on horseback. Asta quickly followed. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]We’re moving now. There is no packing of this mule. Get in the vehicle. Let’s go.[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Um, everyone’s in the vehicle but you… and Campan.[/i] Daniel got in the mule. Take tried starting up the mule. It sputtered and groaned. Mort reached over the side and thwacked the side. The mule started up. As Take started driving, Daniel yelled for Campan to get down and get in the mule. Even with the mule going at full speed, Campan was able to catch up. He leapt into the bed of the mule, taking aim for Mort. He was half successful, with his body half hanging out the back and his head connecting with Mort’s kneecap. Mort pulled Campan up into the mule by his underwear. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]That’s how we know he’s not a whore.[/i] As they drove along, they could see the men on horses come up along the ridgeline on both sides. They followed them along the ridge, but didn’t pull their guns. Some came down the ridge behind them, but just followed them at a distance. Up ahead, the crew could see some more men on horses coming down to stop along the path, blocking it. Daniel asked Jimmy if he knew about this, but he said no. Daniel then asked if Jimmy knew who these people were. [b]Little Jimmy:[/b] (squeaky voice) [i]Aliens?[/i] Daniel told Jimmy to tie himself to something while Mort asking him if he knew a guy named Jasp. Jimmy said he didn’t as he climbed underneath his seat. Campan and Mort put on their bandanas. Take wanted to blast past the horses and outrun them, but Mort pointed out that Campan was able to catch up to the mule. Asta suggested they talk to these people while Daniel was looking for a defensible position to start shooting from. [b]Asta:[/b] [i]Why don’t we go and talk to these guys? I think that’s a novel idea![/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]What makes you think we’re doing anything else?[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]You all have guns out![/i] Take still didn’t look like he was going to stop, so Daniel pointed out that a horse was going to stop the mule for good. Take stopped the mule about an inch in front of one of the horses. The horse tried to bawk, but the man kept the horse under control. The people were all men, ranging from their twenties to their fifties. They all had long hair, long beards and weird, long sideburns. They all wore hats to keep out the sun and their horses had rudimentary saddles on them. The man they stopped in front of was older, with a long, grey beard. Take tried the horn, but it didn’t work. [b]Take:[/b] [i]Um, you do realize we’re trying to get through, don’t you?[/i] Several of the crew smacked Take. [b]Old Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]דוע אתה חודר לאדמות שלנו והורג את הבקר שלנו?[/i] Clearly none of the crew had any clue what he had just said. Daniel popped up in his seat to look over Take. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Howdy.[/i] [b]Take:[/b] (to rest of crew) [i]Did you hear what he said?[/i] The old man turned to his side and waved a younger man closer. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]How.[/i] [b]Take:[/b] [i]No. Not Indian, English.[/i] Take got whapped again. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]How.[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]No. Why. Why is he in the road?[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]We’re trying to pass through.[/i] [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]You kill cow.[/i] The crew argued amongst themselves about whether or not they knew of or killed a cow and whether or not that was a problem. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Group cow. You on our land.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Obviously that was a misunderstanding. We were told that was normal around these parts.[/i] [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]You come to our land. You take our livestock. You take our land.[/i] Mort asked if they needed anything fixed. Asta asked if they had told the locals that this was their land. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]We locals![/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]How long have you been local? Been here?[/i] [b]Take:[/b] [i]We’ll give you these shiny beads.[/i] Take got whapped again. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Two hundred years.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Have other people come through these parts? And have you stopped them? Have they killed cows?[/i] [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]People encroach on our land. We stop them. You encroach on our land.[/i] Mort asked them what they wanted for the cow. The man responded another cow. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]We can arrange services here, but if you’re kidnapping people in these parts for killing cows that they don’t know are yours. They don’t know you’re here. You can’t hardly expect them to not know the cows are yours.[/i] Fortunately for the crew, Daniel’s rant was far too wordy for the man to fully pick up. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Our land! Not theirs![/i] Campan asked how they could help fix things. [b]Campan:[/b] (gestures towards Asta) [i]You want maiden?[/i] Mort slapped Campan on the head. Asta threatened to make Campan into a maiden. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]What do you want for the cow?[/i] [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Cow![/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]You want cow parts?[/i] Mort slapped Campan on the head again. Daniel asked what happened to the others who came through. Mort said he’d translate and asked what it would take for them to let the group through to get to town. Campan looked ready to talk, so Mort slapped him a third time. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Make people leave![/i] [b]Mort:[/b] (muttering) [i]Hmm.. people tend to leave irradiated planets.[/i] Daniel told the man that he thought he could make people leave if they told them more. He then repeated that in as few words as possible. Mort told him he was improving. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]We been here long time. Since prophet Ezekial talk to god and build Ark. He lead us to new promised land. We crash on new Promised Land. And it was good, for a time. Then others come. They mess with planet. They mess with land. They bring others. They take our land. They take our livestock.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]So you want everyone off the planet?[/i] [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]They on our land. God has shown us here. God not show them here.[/i] Mort tried to get out of them how big the Promised Land was. He was nondescript, point at one hill, arching his arm over his head and pointing at another hill. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]From hill… to hill.[/i] Mort translated that as meaning from horizon to horizon. Mort suggested building a fence and some signs. Campan counted about fifty people and decided they didn’t have enough ammo. Daniel tried to get more definitive boundaries for the Promised Land. The man mostly answered that the Promised Land was as large as god said it was. Take started talking about having talked to god last night. Daniel tried to determine if these people were nomads, but they didn’t look like it to him. Daniel reiterated that he thought they could make people leave. Asta muttered something about smallpox. This gave Mort a warm, fuzzy feeling because someone else was talking about genocide besides him. Mort asked the people what they were called. [b]Younger Man on Horseback:[/b] [i]Pilgrims of Mount Sinai. Me Yossef.[/i] Mort started to scribble their tribe’s name into his list, then scratched it out and wrote PMS. Daniel asked if there were other pilgrims. Yossef responded that they were many. Daniel asked if there were others of other mountains. Yossef responded that there weren’t. Daniel tried to find out where their people were, supposedly so they could go to them for help, but Yossef told them that they had scouts if they needed to be reached. Daniel then asked if they could go on their way or if they were going to hold them there longer. [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]How we know you do what you say?[/i] [b]Campan:[/b] [i]We’ll leave Mort.[/i] Mort smacked Campan again. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Well, frankly, you don’t, but I’m going to need everyone here to get the job done.[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]We need insurance.[/i] Mort reached under the seats and grabbed Jimmy’s ankle, yanking him out. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Sir. We don’t need this party member.[/i] [b]Take:[/b] [i]I don’t know. He may be the best party member we have. I mean, he did kill a cow on his own.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Yeah, that’s why we’re here. I told his folks we’d get him to town safely and then :):):):) him.[/i] Mort flung Jimmy from the mule for his own safety. [b]Campan:[/b] [i]I’m not :):):):)ing any children! I don’t care what your orders are.[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]I didn’t know these things about you, sir.[/i] Daniel told Jimmy to get back into the mule. Yossef pointed at Mort and said he looked sick and couldn’t make the ride. Daniel said that Mort did make the ride and he wasn’t staying. Asta, in her typical arrogance, questioned Yossef’s tribe’s honor, since they were questioning theirs. He said they weren’t originally from here either and had shown no proof that they would keep their word. Yossef said they were god’s people and trustworthy. And this was their land, not the others. [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]We been here long time. God showed us the way. God did not show them the way. God did not show you the way.[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]How do you know?[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]I’m pretty sure god didn’t show us the way either.[/i] Asta poked Mort in his stitches. [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]Are you saying you talk to god?[/i] Mort slapped his hand over Asta’s mouth. [b]Mort:[/b] [i]No, she’s not saying that. Cause religious holy wars are bad.[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]You strange people.[/i] [b]Mort:[/b] [i]Yes.[/i] [b]Asta:[/b] [i]We do not wish to stay on your lands. We do not wish to encroach on your lands. We only wish to go to town.[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]Town on our lands.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]How could they build a town on your lands, have the time to build that, and you not stopping them?[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]Town not on our lands. Town grow. Town on our lands.[/i] Asta asked if they had ever sent someone to talk to the townspeople. Yossef replied that that they had, but he never returned. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Your negotiator... you know what a negotiator is? You know the word?[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]Rabbi.[/i] Daniel asked if the rabbi spoke English, to which Yossef responded that he had spoken as much as he did. Daniel told him that they had to let his group go and trust them, or there was going to be a bloody mess and they’d lose far more members of their tribe than they’d want and would get nothing. [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]You pass test. We accept deal.[/i] [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Thank you.[/i] There was then a long pause as the two group’s stare at each other. [b]Daniel:[/b] [i]Are you going to get out of our way?[/i] [b]Yossef:[/b] [i]No. [/i](pause) [i]You follow us back to camp. You pass test.[/i] Daniel sighed and agreed. After all, this served his plan. He discussed his plan quietly with the others in Chinese as they followed them back to camp. The plan included finding out where their camp was so they could come back later and force these people to move off planet. [b][i]Fade to Black[/i][/b] [/QUOTE]
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[Firefly] Ruthless Bastards of the 'Verse (Completed 3/6/09)
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