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Message: <blockquote data-quote="thormagni" data-source="post: 2915862" data-attributes="member: 13637">My very first thoughts upon leaving Superman Returns (with possible spoilers in here, so be warned.):     1. What the hell was that? Seriously. Do I even know that guy? That was supposed to be the same Superman we know from movies, comic books and television? This guy is a creep, when you really think about it.     2. Kevin Spacey is cool! Kevin Spacey is interesting. Lex Luthor is 10x as interesting as Superman.     3. How stupid are the reporters and editors in the Daily Planet newsroom? Seriously! Superman is gone for five years. Clark is gone for five years. On the DAY that Clark comes back to the Daily Planet, Superman reappears? How many 6-4, black-haired, blue-eyed, 225 pound guys are there in Metropolis? This strains my sense of disbelief to the breaking point. Sure, a combover and a set of eyeglasses as a disguise is cheesy, but c'mon. This is just ridiculous.    4. OK. Supes goes off looking for Krypton. Makes sense. He finds that Krypton is blown to pieces. Hell, we see Krypton get blown to pieces. Where does he get an adult-sized funky Kryptonian spaceship to fly back to Earth? And why does he need it, if he flew to ex-Krypton in the first place?       5. Why does Superman look like he is made of plastic? Every scene he is in, he looks like a giant, black-haired Ken doll with a big rubber cape.      6. OK. Superman is a Boy Scout, a good guy, a hero. Got it. Lois is engaged with a kid and a live-in boyfriend who seems like a great guy and she seems happy. So, back off big blue, just back off.     7. Big spoiler warning here. This takes places about five years after Superman II. Got it. In Superman II, Lois and Kal-el get jiggy in the big silver bed in the Fortress of Solitude. At the end of the movie, he gives Lois the big memory-erasing kiss. Nine months later Lois has a kid. Wouldn't that be disturbing? You didn't have sex with anyone, and now you are pregnant. Creepy? And here is a hint, you have sex with chicks, knock 'em up, erase their memory and then leave town? You are Super-deadbeat-dad and possibly a date rapist. Not super, man.     8. More spoiler here: A note to Bryan Singer. You let us know that a kid has superpowers. At that point, you can stop teasing us. Put up or shut up, I say. And an explanation should follow up really quickly. A frail, 5-year-old starts tossing half-ton objects around? You'd better commit to that plotline. Otherwise, everybody in your movie is an idiot. My 9-year-old hucks the couch across the room, I'm a little curious about where he got that strength. Apparently Pulitzer prize winning reporters aren't so curious.     9. More spoiler here: I don't care if you are the Man of Steel. Hanging outside somebody's house with X-ray vision watching what is going on inside is just creepy. That is a Peeping Tom. And if a superhero flies into my son's room and starts talking to him, in the middle of the night, while he is asleep in bed? I'm just saying, I am taking a Kryptonite baseball bat to him. These scenes were just wrong on so many levels.     10. I have had absolutely enough with the Superman=Jesus Christ parallels. You can stop beating me over the head with it.    11. Possible spoiler: Stripping our hero of his powers and having four or five goons work him over, stab him and shove him off a cliff just isn't fun. Really. Don't need to see that. Cartoony death-traps I expect. Tattooed lowlifes beating up the man of steel and sticking a shiv in, not so much.    12. More spoiler: Umm. Superman doesn't believe in killing people. Or letting people die. Super-son kills somebody with his very first super-act. Not a good precedent to set. Being Superman means not letting Luthor's flunkies get squished, especially when you are the cause of the squishing, even indirectly.      13.  Are they really saying that Clark doesn't actually live anywhere, instead just keeping his suitcases in a closet at the Daily Planet? He's like the guy who sleeps on the couch in the ladies' room at night. Creepy.</blockquote>

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