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Enchanted Trinkets Complete--a hardcover book containing over 500 magic items for your D&D games!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="simmo" data-source="post: 1383171" data-attributes="member: 9744">chapter 2 Bargain Hunter“SORRY ABOUT THE SMELL." Caleb opened the door briefly to let some fresher air in to the sauna. "SO THIS DWARF WAS A POTTER, WHAT ELSE DID HE DO?”“Pots." Holding his nose with one hand, the dwarf used a wet rag to wash the soap from his body. "He made lots of pots and all manner of creatures of clay.”“I LIKE POTTERY” Caleb sounded happier now that he was back on subject that he liked.“It is even claimed by some that he created life once." Recalling the tales that he was brought up with, the dwarf spoke in a reverent tone. "A servant to help him in his work. Unfortunately the item was flawed. He did not create a dwarven servant that he'd hoped for, but instead ended up with a useless gnome that did not do what he wanted.”“Alright 650,000 jinks. But no more.” The dwarf had finished wiping off the soap and was ready to make his final offer.“YES, POTTERY." The earth genasi missed the dwarf's offer, his mind still on the subject of clay. "THE POWER OF THE EARTH, BECAUSE IT CONTAINS THE POWER OF WATER. LIKE THAT VASE YOU PUT THE SMELLY WATER AND FLOWERS IN.”"Master, you are so wise." The ooze mephit's slimy voice drifted up through the steam. "I'm drowning in your wisdom. I cannot think of anyone who has taught me such wondrous words. Master please tell us more." The mephit paused to catch his breath and another oily bubble popped from his mouth. "We live in a wasteland of idiocy and ignorance. With no one to guide us but you, Master.”“YES...” said Caleb somewhat embarrassed.“Alright, alright," the dwarf interjected trying to get the conversation back on track. "I will give you 700,000 for it.”There was a long pause as the sum of money hung in the air.“You came to me to find out what the hammer did." The dwarf began hoping to sweeten the deal. "It is a hammer of flight. It of medium enchantment in the scale of these things. The rules of threes applies in this case.““YES I UNDERSTAND.” Caleb replied not understanding what the dwarf meant at all.“It can give you the strength of the earth itself, shield you from the blows of your enemies. And – it can call down the wrath of Moradin himself!” Again the dwarf brought down his fist on his open balm with a wet thud to emphasize his words.“YES, I'D RATHER AVOID THAT BIT IF I CAN.” Caleb looked around somewhat nervously. “I'M LOOKING FOR SOME INFORMATION ABOUT... WHERE THIS CAN BE TAKEN.”“What do you mean exactly?" The dwarf asked suspiciously. "Like, where you can sell it? I can deal with that for you.”“WOULD THERE BE SOMEWHERE IN.... THE HIVE” he said nudging one of the mephits “MAYBE?”"Yes Master, we could sell it in the Gatehouse Night Market." The ooze mephit sidled up to its master and began pawing at his feet. Fawning over the large boots of the earth genasi. "There's lots of interesting things on sale there.”“SHH, WE ARE BEING SUBTLE” Caleb whispered loudly.“Shhh." The ooze mephit cackled, sounding like someone drowning in mud. "But of course Master.”  His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “I will not mention the Gatehouse Night Market.”“I have never heard of such a market” Sounding offended and insulted the dwarf began to apply more soap to his body after breaking some off with a small hammer. “I was intending to sell it in the Lady's ward.”“HOW MUCH WOULD I GET FOR IT THERE THEN?” asked Caleb.“Maybe 500,000 or so,” he replied noncommittally.“WOW, THAT WAS YOUR FIRST OFFER WASN'T IT.” Caleb's mind slowly moved back in the conversation.“Yes," said the dwarf amicably. "I was charging a little bit for delivery, overheads and all that.”“YES, YES," Caleb stated curtly. "TIMES ARE HARD I'M SURE. ANYWAY I....”“You know what, I like you.” The dwarf interrupted Caleb and put his hand on the earth genasi's broad knee. “I will trade you my Pantaloons of Splendour for Aggemam the Destroyer.”“TRULY HAVE I LONG DESIRED SUCH AN ITEM” Caleb did not bother to hide his broad grin. “I HEAR THAT IT CAN MAKE YOU A BIT OF A HIT WITH THE LADIES, I YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.”“Of course," the dwarf laughed jovially. "I tend to wear only this. But I am simply too sexy...” He left the end of his sentence hanging.“YOU ARE SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE." The earth genasi joked.“Nah," the dwarf replied clarifying his joke. "If I wear a hat or a cloak – then I'm simply too sexy for it.”“YES, I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS PARTY.” Unsure of the joke or reference that the dwarf was trying to make.“Yes Master, can we please get out of here." The ooze mephit's voice whined. "I'm melting.”“I quite like it in here," said the earth mephit who was trying to sneak past the mineral mephit in order to get a coal.“Master, don't give the hammer away." The mineral mephit was distracted by the shiny hammer and missed the normally slow earth mephit pinching a coal. "It's such a powerful item that only you could wield it.” He paused and looked at the earth mephit accusingly. “And it was given to you Master."“YES. SHHH.” Caleb said in a loud stage whisper, holding his finger to his lips.“Shhh, don't mention the fact that it was given to him specifically.” The ooze mephit began to slowly back away from the earth mephit who was advancing upon it with a glowing coal.“Oh, yes. Shhh.” The mineral mephit snuck up on the earth mephit and snatched the coal back.“Yes," replied the ooze mephit sounding relieved. "Don't mention the Stone Spirit either.”“NO, DON'T MENTION THE STONE SPIRIT." Caleb slapped his forehead. "OH BALLS.”“What? What?" The dwarf who had been watching the mephits with morbid curiosity picked up on the end of the conversation. "OK, since you mentioned Stone Spirit I will give you 800,000. That's my final bid.”“THAT'S ALMOST A MILLION ISN'T IT.” Caleb began to rub his large hands together.“Yes, but it's not quite. Is it?” The dwarf sounded peeved. “You see, laddie, there's a GREAT deal of difference between 800,000 and a million. That's about 30 mines worth of effort.”“YES, BUT I WAS THINKING THAT YOUR OFFER WAS” He paused for dramatic effect “ALMOST A MILLION.”“Hmm, shall we settle on 600,000." The dwarf stared at the hammer with clear envy. "Because that is almost a million as well.”“I WAS JUST LOOKING AFTER IT FOR A FRIEND," Caleb stated evasively. "BUT MAYBE I CAN PERSUADE MY FRIEND TO SELL IT TO YOU.”“Humph,” replied the dwarf unconvinced.“BUT FIRST I NEED TO SPEAK TO HIM.” Despite his best efforts the earth genasi was not a natural deceiver.“Let him consider it.” The dwarf shrugged and began washing off more soap.“YES, BUT HE IS.... HE IS NOT QUITE HIMSELF AT THE MOMENT.” Caleb, not realising that the dwarf could see through his story, continued regardless.“Master," the ooze mephit piped up. "Are you talking about Littleby? Always wanting to wear a dress, yes. He's certainly not feeling himself Master.” All three mephits burst out laughing. Just then a jet of steam went up from the coals, cutting off the laughter. The dwarf's smirk was hidden by his bushy beard."YES, HE HAS BEEN FEELING OTHER PEOPLE FOR QUITE A LONG TIME NOW.” Caleb laughter shook the small room.“Master please stop," the earth mephit sounded afraid. "Your laughter is killing me.”“I WAS THINKING ABOUT... UHHH, SPIRITS TRAPPED IN THE STONE OF THE CITY.” The earth genasi tried to introduce this in to the conversation in a casual manner, but it came across like a battering hammer through a city wall.“Ummm, no. No. I have never heard of such a thing,” the dwarf muttered nervously. He picked up his towel and began to head for the door. As he got up, it was clear to see that he was wearing leather leggings.“Well, I won't charge you for revealing the hammer's properties because it's been a pleasure meeting you." He slung the towel around his neck. "Seeing this fine tool that you have here. But I have to be off. People to meet, making deals and spreading the love and all that.”“I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME,” Caleb said hoping to delay the dwarf a little.“No that's right." The dwarf easily dodged around the slow earth genasi and reached the door. "I will not leave it with you if that is OK.”“DON'T WEAR THOSE PANTALOONS OUT,” Caleb joked.“Don't be a stranger now.” The dwarf formed a small circle with his thumb and forefinger and the saluted the genasi. His leather leggings changed in to chainmail leggings as he dashed through the door.Caleb stayed in the sauna for another ten minutes to think, his armour began to glow a little from the heat but he ignored it. The mephits left the room at the same time as the dwarf and spent a few minutes chasing each other with hot glowing coals before finally settling down to discuss the properties of ether cyclones and vortices.As he was about to leave the sauna, Ejelka slipped in to the room wearing a towel around her head. The mephits craned their necks around the door and let out a collective sigh."HELLO," said Caleb pensively - unaware of how little Ejelka was wearing."Hello," replied the tiefling priestess seductively.</blockquote>

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