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Message: <blockquote data-quote="simmo" data-source="post: 1484056" data-attributes="member: 9744">chapter 5 The technical term is a fluted shaft / Wand of Orcus“Praise be your wisdom and your glory,” the mineral mephit said. Its screeching voice sounded like broken pottery being dragged against a black board.“Oh Master, this is a fortuitous day indeed.” The mephit said in its hollow sounding voice. “Only you could have turned a modron rogue.”“Only one as mighty as you could have done such a thing Master. With the great boot of power.” The ooze mephit continued to paw at the large boot.“Oh, we're overwhelmed Master.” The mineral mephit approached Caleb carefully and also began to fawn over his boots. “Can I please touch the boot of power?”“YES, COME HERE AND I'LL DEMONSTRATE IT.”“Me first Master!” the earth mephit shouted as it rushed forwards. All three mephits got booted by their Master and tumbled through the air to land some distance away.“Do let me know when you have another spot free for a follower,” Littleby chuckled. “I quite fancy the job.”“Can't compute. Can't transmute. Sorry, it just doesn't seem to work for me.” The ooze mephits shrugged his shoulders as it tried to imitate the flat mono-tone voice of the modron. It's slime bubble wings beat above its head as it leapt up in to the air to brush off the dust from being kicked by Caleb.“Need more information. Need more gems. Oops.” The mineral mephit tried it as well and gave up. As it flew up in to the air it collided purposefully with the ooze mephit, knocking it out of the air “Is it working for you?”“No,” the earth mephits replied despondently. “I just got a sore bum.”“He touched me,” the ooze mephit said as it crawled back towards Caleb. “Master, Master. It would take far too much of your precious time to instruct this stupid creature in the mysteries of the Multiverse. Perhaps we could help you with this Master?”“Magic missiles standing by Caleb,” Littleby muttered quietly, offering to blast the mephits out of existence if his friend was willing.“It is such a precious little follower of you.” The ooze mephit continued in its whining and pitiful tone. “Surely you would want it instructed well, wouldn't you Master?”“YES I WOULD.” Caleb shook his foot and eventually the ooze mephit let go when he threatened to stamp on it. “WHICH IS WHY I AM ASSIGNING THE JOB THE SOMEONE ELSE.”“Huh! I told you, there's a fourth favoured mephit.” The mineral mephit stuck its tongue out at the other mephits and the modron did the same. It had been watching the mephits every move and was studying them intently.“We will not instruct it, but we will look after it.” The earth mephits chuckled at the cleverness of his suggestion.“YES, WELL. I WANT YOU TO GIVE IT A GOOD POLISH AND PAINT JOB.” Caleb turned his back on them and sighed at his misfortune of being stuck with mephits. If only he could have gotten some genuine elemental followers instead.“Oh yes Master. We're master artisans. We'll have it shiny and new in the morning.” The mineral mephit took out an expensive silk cloth from its small satchel and began to polish the modron's metal surface.“Bet you wish it never went rogue,” Littleby said laughing softly.“I wish that it had never been built,” Serena said. She was not very impressed with the modron and had little desire to see it hanging around.“IT MAY BE QUITE USEFUL TO US AS IT KNOWS WHAT THE WAND OF ORCUS LOOKS LIKE. FOR I DO NOT KNOW.” Caleb felt another memory cascade through his thoughts, like a boulder bouncing down the side of a mountain. Once again he could hear the old man's voice and feel the wooden seat of the wagon as he travelled through Elysium with Agar the merchant. “ACTUALLY I DO KNOW. I REMEMBER NOW, OH BUTTERBRAIN. IT WAS SAID TO BE AS TALL AS MY LEG.”“Who exactly said that?” Littleby asked, suspicious about how Caleb had come to find out this knowledge. He weighed up the possibility that his friend might be under the effects of a charm or other enchantment, but he felt no powerful dwoeners nearby. “I think that the words that you are looking for is about three feet.”“YES THAT'S IT. MADE OF PUREST BLACK IRON.... AH.” The earth genasi was lost in the reverie of the thought of pure black iron and forgot about the conversation and his friends for awhile. “YES ANYWAY IT IS SAID TO BE TIPPED BY A HUMAN SKULL OF GREAT SIZE. HE WAS A GREAT CHAMPION OF HUMANITY SENT TO SLAY ORCUS. BUT OBVIOUSLY HE DID NOT MAKE IT. HA HA HA.” The mephits laughed halfheartedly after a moments pause, but none of the other companions did. “SET WITH TWO BLACK DIAMONDS IN THE EYE-SOCKETS AND A NOBBLY BIT ON THE END.”“That matches almost exactly my description,” Littleby confirmed who'd read about the wand in a ancient small tome that he'd acquired recently.“IT HAS A THIN GROOVE RUNNING DOWN THE SIDE TO ALLOW THE BLOOD TO RUN DOWN ON TO THE HAND OF THE USER.” Caleb paused once again to admire the memory of the item that old man had described. Somehow he was able to picture it exactly in his mind as if he had seen it himself or a magical phantasm that looked just like it.“The technical term is a fluted shaft,” Littleby pointed out.“I'VE ALWAYS LIKED A FLUTED SHAFT,” Caleb's laughter rumbled softly as he began to polish Aggemam the Destroyer.“This lovely three foot long staff of Orcus can be yours for only 99.95 jinks,” Andrew joked. He moved his hands as if showing off a three foot pole that was on sale in the Grand Bazaar in Sigil.“OH BY THE WAY, IF YOU TOUCH IT THEN IT IS INSTANT DEATH.” Caleb stopped polishing his hammer and tried to think how he knew that piece of information. Shrugging his shoulders he continued to polish his hammer as the modron mimicked his actions and polished his other hammer.“Thank you for mentioning this now,” Andrew said.“MINOR POINT, BUT PROBABLY WORTH MENTIONING.” The earth genasi pointed to a spot that the modron had missed and realised that it was caused by the ooze mephit. He mentally commanded them to go elsewhere as they had done a reasonable job of cleaning the modron.“What happens if you wear gloves?” Serena asked, curious to find out more about the wand of orcus.“IT IS INSTANT DEATH, WITH GLOVES ON.” Caleb laughed at the thought of a smoking pair of gloves.“Bugger,” Serena swore, forgetting to use 'Sweet Tomeri' instead.</blockquote>

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