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<blockquote data-quote="Kerrz" data-source="post: 2438574" data-attributes="member: 22914">OOC: I hate that we can't send Private Messages on this forum.Ringmereth. Please, if you're going to be so expository with your thoughts, put them in an [sblock] tag. It really detracts from things and frankly perturbs me, because I want to respond to your thoughts, but can't, because you aren't speaking them aloud, nor are you physically showing that your character feels this way.It's great that you're keeping a record of your thoughts as it helps build your character... but the rest of us aren't supposed to know them, and now we do. It's like if I had a villain walk up and explain his master plan in the first post. It would take away from the surprise of getting to know the character and their motives and plans.Try harder to show your thoughts through action rather than through exposition.&quot;Show, don't tell&quot; is one of the axioms of good writing.I'm not saying you have to follow any of my suggestions by any means, but it's something you might want to keep in mind if you're looking to improve your writing style and the flow of the game.Again, sorry for singling you out like that, you're far from the only person who writes with such exposition, but I thought perhaps I should say something earlier rather than later.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Kerrz, post: 2438574, member: 22914"] [color=red]OOC: I hate that we can't send Private Messages on this forum. Ringmereth. Please, if you're going to be so expository with your thoughts, put them in an [sblock] tag. It really detracts from things and frankly perturbs me, because I want to respond to your thoughts, but can't, because you aren't speaking them aloud, nor are you physically showing that your character feels this way. It's great that you're keeping a record of your thoughts as it helps build your character... but the rest of us aren't supposed to know them, and now we do. It's like if I had a villain walk up and explain his master plan in the first post. It would take away from the surprise of getting to know the character and their motives and plans. Try harder to show your thoughts through action rather than through exposition. "Show, don't tell" is one of the axioms of good writing. I'm not saying you have to follow any of my suggestions by any means, but it's something you might want to keep in mind if you're looking to improve your writing style and the flow of the game. Again, sorry for singling you out like that, you're far from the only person who writes with such exposition, but I thought perhaps I should say something earlier rather than later.[/color] [/QUOTE]

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