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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jeffwik" data-source="post: 828831" data-attributes="member: 9739">Stick a fork in this one, it’s done!  Some guys have gutted Team Evil Genius.  As they hastily loot the bodies of their fallen foes, we turn to our in-studio panel of experts for post-fight analysis.  First up is Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene, priestess of Hanali Celanil, from the tree-top elven city of Aelvaeoniaemaouia, and a regular guest on Seer Hawkwind’s Policy Roundtable.I greet you, human.Yes.  Looking good, Annapolychromasia.Clearly the fight is not yet complete, for surely these pig-races will now turn upon each other, goblin against orc, orc against dark creeper, everyone against xvart, until only one remains to die alone and unbeloved by the true gods.  Such is the plight of all the pig-races of the Underdark.I’d like to take this opportunity to say that Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene’s viewpoints do not reflect those of Wide World of Melee or its producers. The thing I like about the drow is I think they hate the pig-races.   Could we return to the matter at hand, please?It’s more efficient.  When the aelven nations rise up and shake off their oppressors, crushing human faces under a boot forever, as Corellon and Hanali want, all the pig-races shall hunted down and eliminated, a final solution to the millennia during which the true sapients have been forced to undergo the humiliation of the pig-races’ consumption of land, food, metals, and other vital natural resources.  Take the aelvenian invastion of Mount Gundabad in 15 431 257, seventeen centuries ago (aelvenianish caldendar).  There were those – a few pig-sympathizers and liberals – who claimed we were going to war not to free the humans from goblin oppression, but for the mithral deposits.  And I say, what’s wrong with going to war over mithral?  We need mithral.Er…Sooner or later all the pig-races will be gone, one way or another – humans, dwarves, goblins, bugbears, halflings, gnomes, orcs, xvarts, dark creepers, kobolds, mongrelmen, nilbogs, and so on.  Hobgoblins are extinct already.  Corellon gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. Corellon said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.' But…It’s a waste of aelvenianishnik resources to cleanse the Underdark of the pig-races before the pig-races’ internecine squabbling has been given time to minimize their numbers.  The xvart in particular is an abomination before Corellon and Hanali.Food for thought from Annapolychromasia Coultaeityouviaene.  Forsaken Widow?[size=large]Silence!  Hear now the truth, Seer Hawkwind, hear it now!  The fight has not yet finished, foolish mortal.[/size]I see.[size=large]Even as the capering simpletons led by the pathetic Thar and his puny god cavort in joy, the slime known to your limited perceptions as Mikek yet plots to eradicate his foes.[/size][size=large]Fools.[/size]That was Forsaken Widow, with insightful analysis.  Erk?I believe she’s correct, Hawk.Are you serious, Erk?No, no, no, Mikek is a True Doppelganger, and as such has taken almost exclusively subdual damage during this combat.English that one up for me, Erk.While some guys have stripped Mikek of his equipment – discovering his network of chicken-blood bladders in the process, bladders that allow Mikek to feign genuine injury despite his lack of anatomy – the wily rogue has been waiting for his opportunity.I don’t follow you.He has a bonus on the order of +24 to his Bluff check, Hawk.  He’s feigning death.As we check back in on some guys – some triumphant guys, I should say – we see that… oh!  oh!  This is unprecedented, call a lawyer!  He’s up!  Mikek is up!  Who could have predicted that?I hate you.He’s naked, he’s uninjured, he’s grabbing for his equipment –— which the dark smudge has already squirreled away in her pack –And he’s bolting!  Mikek is bolting, running like a madman on his way to a crazy party!  And the dark smudge is on him, holding him down!Now that it’s plain conventional weapons are useless against Mikek and his regeneration, I’m sure we’ll see a change in the tactics of some guys.Right you are, Erk, here comes the alchemist’s fire!  Atarax appears to have stored a supply of the grenadelike weapon exclusively for this purpose.  Thar has also thrown himself on Mikek, as the doppelganger attempts to slide away.  Rhuun is moving to block the tunnel back to Gulg…That alchemist’s fire, remember, is persistent – it does damage on two rounds.Right.  Mikek is trying to slip past the dark smudge and Rhuun and Thar and it’s not looking good for the doppelganger.  Subdual damage or no subdual damage, two goblins and a weird shadow thing the cameras won’t pick up is not the kind of wrestling match any sane shapeshifter wants to get involved in, not unless there are large sums on money involved, which isn’t the case here, although the argument might be made that since Mikek is fighting literally for his life he’s more strongly motivated than he could be otherwise – an argument I’d reject as the urge for self-destruction must be rising high by now, a sort of sour-grapes thanatos of the I-didn’t-want-to-live-anyway variety.  Do you think about the words before you say them, Hawk?Good point, Erk.  Mikek is clearly suffering from his lack of magic items.He was outfitted with a principal’s ransom in goods – strength boosters, dex boosters, con boosters…Operative word being was.  Mikek’s covered in napalm and not looking happy about it.  He’s sliding back the other way now, slipping past Thar and towards Moroku…  and there’s the ball of fire, Mikek is staggering…  A bolt of conjuring from Foleful, another die of damage from the alchemist’s fire…  Mikek is down!  For real this time.And there’s the genuine end of the fight.Looks like some guys are taking no chances, Erk – Moroku has a flaming sphere running up and down Mikek’s body, letting it boil away.  By the time they’re done I doubt there’ll be more than a dark smudge on the tunnel floor.</blockquote>

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