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Funniest Thing you have heard at the gaming table
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<blockquote data-quote="pogre" data-source="post: 468591" data-attributes="member: 6588"><p>From my old WFRP campaign</p><p></p><p><strong>An Amusing Jimmy Ratspike Tale</strong> </p><p>The party was trying to save a small village north-west of Almarr that was soon to be assaulted by a Goblinoid horde. A Wood Elf of noble bearing who had stopped in the local coaching inn on his way through refused to help the party. Jimmy's threats probably did little to help gain the Elf's cooperation. The party still managed to save the village, but they were extremely mad about the Elf's attitude.</p><p></p><p>A plan of revenge was hatched, the infamous Elf s***-trap. A pile of horse dung was placed over a large bear trap outside the Elf's room. The whole thing was set afire, and someone knocked on the Elf's door. The Elf opened the door, and alarmed at the burning pile before him - stomped on the fire. With a sickening crunch the trap tore into the Elf's leg. The party left the happy little village giggling all the way.</p><p></p><p>Returning through the village sometime later the adventurers learned that the Elf had to have his leg amputated just below the knee. Some in the party felt a pang of guilt, but Jimmy Ratspike and most the others laughed even louder at this news.</p><p></p><p>Over the next few weeks as the party tracked through the Olde Realm's wilderness they were continually sniped at late at night. Most of these arrows did not do much real damage, although Jimmy Ratspike seemed to be the main target. Much to the frustration of the entire party the source of the arrows could not be discerned.</p><p></p><p>Finally, after one late night sniping the Ranger character discovered an unusual track in the morning. The track consisted of a humanoid foot print with a deep impression next to it, as though a pole had been sunk into the ground. It was then they realized the Elf s***-trap victim was on their trail. Jimmy Ratspike became enraged shouting vows to Grungni for revenge. Really, a common place occurence. </p><p></p><p>A week later the Elf's luck ran out as the party set a clever trap for him which he could not avoid. The Elf surrendered in a most noble manner, but Jimmy would have none of it. He had the Elf stripped naked and prepared for combat, unarmed. He sharpened his axe with glee as he prepared for vengeance.</p><p></p><p>The combat was as lop-sided an affair as could be arranged. The Elf had only one advantage - he was quicker. The helpless, naked Elf delivered a bare handed blow to the Dwarf's stomach. It was an incredible blow which did amazing damage, and had the Dwarf barely retain consciousness. The laughter of his comrades, and his pure rage was probably the only thing that kept him standing. The rest of the combat went the Dwarf's way as he quickly decapitated the Elf.</p><p></p><p>[In WFRP a critical hit can take out the most experienced adventurer if you roll enough 6s]</p><p></p><p>The party never allowed Jimmy to live down the Elf s***-trap incident. Anytime he declared himself the greatest combat machine in the world they quickly pointed out he was nearly beaten by a naked, one-legged Elf!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pogre, post: 468591, member: 6588"] From my old WFRP campaign [B]An Amusing Jimmy Ratspike Tale[/B] The party was trying to save a small village north-west of Almarr that was soon to be assaulted by a Goblinoid horde. A Wood Elf of noble bearing who had stopped in the local coaching inn on his way through refused to help the party. Jimmy's threats probably did little to help gain the Elf's cooperation. The party still managed to save the village, but they were extremely mad about the Elf's attitude. A plan of revenge was hatched, the infamous Elf s***-trap. A pile of horse dung was placed over a large bear trap outside the Elf's room. The whole thing was set afire, and someone knocked on the Elf's door. The Elf opened the door, and alarmed at the burning pile before him - stomped on the fire. With a sickening crunch the trap tore into the Elf's leg. The party left the happy little village giggling all the way. Returning through the village sometime later the adventurers learned that the Elf had to have his leg amputated just below the knee. Some in the party felt a pang of guilt, but Jimmy Ratspike and most the others laughed even louder at this news. Over the next few weeks as the party tracked through the Olde Realm's wilderness they were continually sniped at late at night. Most of these arrows did not do much real damage, although Jimmy Ratspike seemed to be the main target. Much to the frustration of the entire party the source of the arrows could not be discerned. Finally, after one late night sniping the Ranger character discovered an unusual track in the morning. The track consisted of a humanoid foot print with a deep impression next to it, as though a pole had been sunk into the ground. It was then they realized the Elf s***-trap victim was on their trail. Jimmy Ratspike became enraged shouting vows to Grungni for revenge. Really, a common place occurence. A week later the Elf's luck ran out as the party set a clever trap for him which he could not avoid. The Elf surrendered in a most noble manner, but Jimmy would have none of it. He had the Elf stripped naked and prepared for combat, unarmed. He sharpened his axe with glee as he prepared for vengeance. The combat was as lop-sided an affair as could be arranged. The Elf had only one advantage - he was quicker. The helpless, naked Elf delivered a bare handed blow to the Dwarf's stomach. It was an incredible blow which did amazing damage, and had the Dwarf barely retain consciousness. The laughter of his comrades, and his pure rage was probably the only thing that kept him standing. The rest of the combat went the Dwarf's way as he quickly decapitated the Elf. [In WFRP a critical hit can take out the most experienced adventurer if you roll enough 6s] The party never allowed Jimmy to live down the Elf s***-trap incident. Anytime he declared himself the greatest combat machine in the world they quickly pointed out he was nearly beaten by a naked, one-legged Elf! [/QUOTE]
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