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<blockquote data-quote="Moe Ronalds" data-source="post: 303882" data-attributes="member: 2083"><p>Uh... funny quotes? "I go up to the horned lizard-dog-person in the robes and draw my sword" (first level fighter in sunless citadel) </p><p>Me: She casts web.</p><p>Him: I turn around, drop my pants and fart in her face. (remember, we're 13.)</p><p>Me: You can't move.</p><p>Him: I said I-</p><p>Me: Fine. You now have three magic missiles currently lodged in your rectum. You have 12 HP? Lucky you I just rolled max damage...</p><p>Him: DUDE, I was kidding! Gawd... </p><p></p><p><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll eyes :rolleyes:" data-smilie="11"data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> </p><p></p><p>Me: Your katana slices through the disgusting floating creature, slicing it cleanly in half as he tries to flee. What do you do?</p><p>Player: I take out the wasabi and... </p><p></p><p><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll eyes :rolleyes:" data-smilie="11"data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> </p><p></p><p>Me: You have just entered the general store. An angry-looking old man sits at a table. </p><p>Player1: Do you have any swords?</p><p>Me: No, this is a general store.</p><p>Player1: do you have any swords?</p><p>Me: No, now leave.</p><p>Player1:Why?</p><p>Me: I don't trust anyone with a dagger strapped to their waist.</p><p>Player2(druid): My wolf and I enter</p><p>Me: Get out, we don't serve magic-users here.</p><p>Player2: I just want to buy some meat!</p><p>Player3: Excuse me sir, is he *points at player1* bothering you?</p><p>Me: YES</p><p>Player3: Okay, I drag him out and tie him to a post out front and go to the mayor's office.</p><p>Player2: I beat the old man senseless with my club.</p><p>Me: Everything goes black and you wake up in a jail cell...</p><p></p><p>Monk: Okay, you're a rogue, right? Check for traps.</p><p>Rogue: I don't know how...</p><p>Monk: Okay, we'll tie this rope around your waist, and you'll go in, be sure to stomp your feet as hard as possible so that if you activate any traps you'll know before you lift your foot up.</p><p>Rogue: Okay, I go in taking big steps-</p><p>Me:*rolls dice* maybe you shouldn't have put that 8 in con...</p><p></p><p>Townguard: Alright you you're under arrest.</p><p>Rogue: I stab the guard.</p><p>Me: Which one?</p><p>ROgue: That one. *points*</p><p>Me: Before you do this, you realize your best weapon is a dagger, these guys are in full plate, you don't have weapon finesse, and you have a seven strength, right?</p><p>Rogue: Yeah.</p><p>Me: And you realize with your armor you can only move 20 feet, right?</p><p>ROgue: Yeah</p><p>Me: AND you realize that HE-*points at Party monk* is also a guard, right?</p><p>Rogue: Yeah</p><p>Me: AND that both guards are carrying big swords?</p><p>Rogue: Yeah</p><p>Me: Okay then. *gets out a set of dice and a character sheet* Now, you were the only rogue so they're gonna appreciate it if...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Moe Ronalds, post: 303882, member: 2083"] Uh... funny quotes? "I go up to the horned lizard-dog-person in the robes and draw my sword" (first level fighter in sunless citadel) Me: She casts web. Him: I turn around, drop my pants and fart in her face. (remember, we're 13.) Me: You can't move. Him: I said I- Me: Fine. You now have three magic missiles currently lodged in your rectum. You have 12 HP? Lucky you I just rolled max damage... Him: DUDE, I was kidding! Gawd... :rolleyes: Me: Your katana slices through the disgusting floating creature, slicing it cleanly in half as he tries to flee. What do you do? Player: I take out the wasabi and... :rolleyes: Me: You have just entered the general store. An angry-looking old man sits at a table. Player1: Do you have any swords? Me: No, this is a general store. Player1: do you have any swords? Me: No, now leave. Player1:Why? Me: I don't trust anyone with a dagger strapped to their waist. Player2(druid): My wolf and I enter Me: Get out, we don't serve magic-users here. Player2: I just want to buy some meat! Player3: Excuse me sir, is he *points at player1* bothering you? Me: YES Player3: Okay, I drag him out and tie him to a post out front and go to the mayor's office. Player2: I beat the old man senseless with my club. Me: Everything goes black and you wake up in a jail cell... Monk: Okay, you're a rogue, right? Check for traps. Rogue: I don't know how... Monk: Okay, we'll tie this rope around your waist, and you'll go in, be sure to stomp your feet as hard as possible so that if you activate any traps you'll know before you lift your foot up. Rogue: Okay, I go in taking big steps- Me:*rolls dice* maybe you shouldn't have put that 8 in con... Townguard: Alright you you're under arrest. Rogue: I stab the guard. Me: Which one? ROgue: That one. *points* Me: Before you do this, you realize your best weapon is a dagger, these guys are in full plate, you don't have weapon finesse, and you have a seven strength, right? Rogue: Yeah. Me: And you realize with your armor you can only move 20 feet, right? ROgue: Yeah Me: AND you realize that HE-*points at Party monk* is also a guard, right? Rogue: Yeah Me: AND that both guards are carrying big swords? Rogue: Yeah Me: Okay then. *gets out a set of dice and a character sheet* Now, you were the only rogue so they're gonna appreciate it if... [/QUOTE]
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