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<blockquote data-quote="evildm" data-source="post: 304337" data-attributes="member: 3264"><p>My group's got a ton, so much so that we write down new ones all the time. I'll post a few here.</p><p></p><p>Player 1: "I'm going to put my hands on his shoulders."</p><p>Player 2: "How can you? I'm 20 feet tall."</p><p>Player 1: "You're a 20 foot tall human?"</p><p>Player 2: "No, I'm in dragon form."</p><p>Player 1: "Uh, we're on a boat."</p><p>Player 2: "We're on a boat!?!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>"You're bad for mummies, and mummies are bad for you." One player remarking after a battle with mummies in Masque of the Red Death.</p><p></p><p></p><p>A weretigress (one of the group) shapeshifts into human form and gets dressed in front of one of the other party members. </p><p>Her: "You saw nothing!"</p><p>Him: "Can I see nothing again?"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Another good one from the aforementioned Masque game.</p><p>Player 1: "I was trying to save you!"</p><p>Player 2: "You shoved me in a crate and pushed me off the train!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Player: "Is your wife... you know, alright?"</p><p>NPC: "What are you talking about?"</p><p>Player: "Well, you said your wife was retarded."</p><p>NPC: "I said she was retired you idiot!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>A great one from a Planescape game where the players were all evil. Self-centered too.</p><p>"Ok, so a horde of demons are supposed to come through here and we have to defend the castle on our own, but we need my spells, so you take watch in the courtyard and I'm gonna find somewhere in the upper floors where I can sleep and won't be disturbed."</p><p></p><p></p><p>"Damn you Thistlewhistleknot!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>"I'm gonna jump on the werewolf's back and start stabbing him with one of my silver arrows."</p><p></p><p></p><p>This one was from a short Heavy Gear game.</p><p>Player 1: "Are they good, or bad?"</p><p>Player 2: "I can't tell that, I don't have a good/bad meter on my sensors."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Player: "What's his name?"</p><p>DM: "I don't know."</p><p>Player: "That's an unusual name..."</p><p></p><p></p><p>And finally, one from a couple of weeks ago. And no, he didn't mean to say pheasant.</p><p>DM: "Alright, you find a quaint little tavern with a terrace-balcony on the second floor with many a person sitting around eating their evening meals. You proceed inside into a jovial atmosphere with lots of people around. What will you order?"</p><p>Player 1: "Something exotic."</p><p>Player 2: "I will have some roasted Peasant, with potatoes and a nice glass of wine."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="evildm, post: 304337, member: 3264"] My group's got a ton, so much so that we write down new ones all the time. I'll post a few here. Player 1: "I'm going to put my hands on his shoulders." Player 2: "How can you? I'm 20 feet tall." Player 1: "You're a 20 foot tall human?" Player 2: "No, I'm in dragon form." Player 1: "Uh, we're on a boat." Player 2: "We're on a boat!?!" "You're bad for mummies, and mummies are bad for you." One player remarking after a battle with mummies in Masque of the Red Death. A weretigress (one of the group) shapeshifts into human form and gets dressed in front of one of the other party members. Her: "You saw nothing!" Him: "Can I see nothing again?" Another good one from the aforementioned Masque game. Player 1: "I was trying to save you!" Player 2: "You shoved me in a crate and pushed me off the train!" Player: "Is your wife... you know, alright?" NPC: "What are you talking about?" Player: "Well, you said your wife was retarded." NPC: "I said she was retired you idiot!" A great one from a Planescape game where the players were all evil. Self-centered too. "Ok, so a horde of demons are supposed to come through here and we have to defend the castle on our own, but we need my spells, so you take watch in the courtyard and I'm gonna find somewhere in the upper floors where I can sleep and won't be disturbed." "Damn you Thistlewhistleknot!" "I'm gonna jump on the werewolf's back and start stabbing him with one of my silver arrows." This one was from a short Heavy Gear game. Player 1: "Are they good, or bad?" Player 2: "I can't tell that, I don't have a good/bad meter on my sensors." Player: "What's his name?" DM: "I don't know." Player: "That's an unusual name..." And finally, one from a couple of weeks ago. And no, he didn't mean to say pheasant. DM: "Alright, you find a quaint little tavern with a terrace-balcony on the second floor with many a person sitting around eating their evening meals. You proceed inside into a jovial atmosphere with lots of people around. What will you order?" Player 1: "Something exotic." Player 2: "I will have some roasted Peasant, with potatoes and a nice glass of wine." [/QUOTE]
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