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Message: <blockquote data-quote="milotha" data-source="post: 1411357" data-attributes="member: 17122">The Annoying Wild MageSteve was an annoying wild mage.   He annoyed his fellow party members.  He annoyed NPCs, but worst of all, he annoyed the GM.  As time went on in the campaign, Steve’s character became a walking panoply of wild magic backfires and curses.  His shoes squeaked, theme music played in the background, he smelled of elderberries.  Steve’s character was headed for what could only be described as a bad end.  At one point in a dungeon, our characters encounter an efreeti.  My character began to negotiate our way out of the encounter.  Steve’s character keeps interrupting.  He is trying to trick/talk his way into getting a granted wish.  This annoyed the efreeti and my character.  At one point without thinking, I turned to Steve and said, “I wish you would just be quiet.  You’re going to get us all killed here.”  “Your wish is granted!” goes the efreeti gleefully.  Poor Steve was permanently silenced.  His character was reduced to hand gestures and writing for the rest of his short dungeoning career.  A little while later, we encounter a Deck of Many Things.  Steve, being a wild mage and having a 50% chance to choose to not encounter a drawn card, decides to draw 4 cards.  Thus began the most disastrous series of draws from the Deck of Many Things that I have ever witnessed.  First, he is instantly stripped of all possessions, this includes his prized spell book.  He failed to avoid it.  Then he gained enmity with an outer planes creature- the efreeti.  He again failed to avoid it.  He is granted 4 wishes, but the GM ruled that they would only be granted once he could speak again.  Lastly, he drew dungeon and was instantly whisked away and imprisoned by- you guessed it- the efreeti.  It was a text book ending.  Note: all of the players including Steve’s player and the GM were rolling around on the floor in stitches at this turn of events.Dragons and DummiesAfter a summer at home, I returned to college and was eager to rejoin my college gaming group.  It was my first session back, and the campaign had run a couple of times during the summer.  I played a strong, fighter who was intelligent, but really unwise.  The GM brought me back in by having my character contacted telepathically by the NPC mage/druid.  I am told that the party is in danger.  They are fighting a metal dragon, and they need my help immediately.  She uses he mirror or mental prowess, and transports me right into the thick of things.  (What really going on:  The party has befriended a wounded silver dragon.  The dragon was wounded in some way that prevented magical healing from working, so it had to rest and was extremely weakened.  In addition, they were hunting down a clockwork metal dragon that had accidentally been unleashed on the countryside by some annoying gnomes.  They are currently riding in a large metal steam powered cart that is shaped like a dragon.  This cart was provided by the gnomes and has no working breaks.  The party has tied themselves into the cart using their ropes of entanglement to prevent themselves from falling out.)  Enter my character. I witness a large metal shaped dragon that has captured tied down my friends.  I can’t hear anything above the racket of the steam powered cart.  I proceed to cut the ropes- thus destroying the magic items in my attempt to liberate by captured comrades.  The mage finally conveys that they are not captives of this strange metal dragon.  OK, at this moment we enter a clearing, where there lies a large wounded silver dragon.  My character fails to realize it’s a good dragon and shoots it with a +3 crossbow bolt.  Nat 20 for max damage.  Almost killing our friend the dragon.  The mage yells at me again, and I realize my mistake- too late.  Oh well!  Now a few minutes later we enter come across the rampaging clockwork dragon.  After a long battle, we finally defeat the beastie.  Afterwards, my character is forced back to apologize to the dragon, which begrudgingly accepts the apology.  The dragon is still in debt to the party and agrees to aid it at some point in the future.  Later in the campaign, many big mean human and orc raiders surround the party.  All looks grim for our adventurers, but we concoct a cunning plan that involved using a cursed magic item and a single spell to save our bacon.  This plan went the way that all cunning plans of this nature do in the hands of a devious DM.   The plan was simple.  The priest will cast silence.  We will all stand in the silenced area.  Meanwhile, the mage will hold the infamous chime of hunger outside the silenced area and ring it.  While everyone but us is busy eating ravenously for many rounds, we will run to freedom.  Ok, maybe it wasn’t the greatest plan.  So, as the mage prepares to ring the chime, I notice our friend the silver dragon flying above the battleground.  He has come to save the day.  Quickly, I realize that our plan is now a problem.  I try to stop the mage by jumping on him, but he rings the bell.  At this moment, I turned to the GM and said the dragon is going to eat me.  I just know it.  He rolls in the open.  The dragon fails its magic resistance.  It fails its save.  He rolls a d100 to determine what the dragon goes after for food.  Each person is assigned a single number on the dice.  He rolls my exact number.  The dragon swoops down, rolls a natural 20.  I was toast.Failed Int ChecksSometimes smart players can fail their intelligence checks.  Another gaming group I was in encountered a floating talking skull in the middle of the dungeon.  The skull claimed that it would answer any yes/ no question put before it.  One for each character.  Now, we were in one of those complex plot/politics games, so this seemed like a great opportunity to acquire some much needed information.  Everyone sat down and tried to figure out what would be the best information to obtain, and one by one we went up and asked the skull.  Meanwhile, the Barbarian player, who is a very smart person playing a very dumb and unwise fighter, has been fretting that there is no way to tell if the skull is telling the truth.  We figure that there is no real way to determine this, but he is insistent that there must be some logical Alice in Wonderland before the Two Doors type question that will determine if the skull is lying.  Finally, the GM turns to him and goes “It’s your turn!”  The player goes “I’ve got it!” and asks “Do talking skulls lie?”  To which the skull of course replies “No!”  Having garnered zero information, the player  turned bright red at his own stupidity.  We all laughed, and forever afterwards anytime the player said he had a good idea, we asked him “Do talking skulls lie?”</blockquote>

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