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<blockquote data-quote="Herpes Cineplex" data-source="post: 1496393" data-attributes="member: 16936">Well, since the focus has shifted away from just saying one thing when you meant another, here's a few quotes from our games.In our very first D&amp;D3 game, after killing the orcs at the top of a dark staircase, the rogue was worried about more orcs possibly being downstairs (and maybe pointing crossbows at whoever might come down).&nbsp; So he drags one of the orc corpses over to the stairwell, pauses dramatically at the edge, then quickly tilts the corpse's head over the edge, as if it's taking a quick look.&nbsp; The other player and the GM look at him like he's nuts.&quot;Hey, they don't know we're not orcs,&quot; says the rogue's player, all innocence and cleverness.&nbsp; (They never let me live that one down. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f641.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":(" title="Frown&nbsp; &nbsp; :("&nbsp; data-smilie="3"data-shortname=":(" /> )GM: &quot;Okay, they had 345 silver and 14,318 copper pieces.&quot;Rogue: &quot;Why is it that everything in Undermountain has a hundred pounds of pennies?&nbsp; What, are they all panhandling on level 3?&quot;GM: &quot;I don't know.&nbsp; It's in the module.&nbsp; Maybe they've been picking through the couch cushions for loose change.&quot;Rogue: &quot;F-cking couch monsters.&nbsp; I hate 'em.&quot;Paladin: &quot;Where'd the troll go?&quot;GM: &quot;To you, it looks like it just vanished.&quot;Monk: &quot;Oh no, it teleports!&quot;Wizard: &quot;Or it plane shifts.&nbsp; Or maybe it just blinks.&quot;Paladin: &quot;Crap.&nbsp; What do we do now?&quot;Wizard: &quot;I say we keep moving on.&nbsp; If Blinky the Troll comes back, we'll deal with him then.&quot;GM: &quot;On the other side of the door, you see a drow warrior in dark plate mail, wielding a dire flail!&quot;Rogue (not involved in this fight): &quot;Oh good lord, what a loser.&quot;GM: &quot;What?&quot;Rogue: &quot;A dire flail?&nbsp; Folks, meet the saddest drow fighter in the Underdark, the poor bastard who got stuck with the dorkiest weapon they had.&nbsp; Look out!&nbsp; He spent three feats just so he could be almost as good as a real fighter with a real weapon!&nbsp; ...Hey, good luck with that dire flail, there, champ.&nbsp; Mind your kneecaps on the backswing.&quot;[the dire-flail-wielding fighter then proceeded to lose initiative and got killed in one round, before he could even take a swing at anyone.]Rogue: &quot;Told you so.&quot;Wizard's player: &quot;I think you just shamed that guy into dying quickly.&quot;Wizard (looking over her spell list): &quot;I could make a sound down that hallway to draw them over there, then you could sneak up behind them.&quot;Rogue (suddenly very excited):&nbsp; &quot;Really?&nbsp; You'd go do that?!&quot;Wizard (disgusted): &quot;I didn't mean me, you ding-dong.&nbsp; I meant I could cast ghost sound.&quot;Rogue (profoundly disappointed): &quot;Oh.&quot;We've also got a Vampire game going right now, and so far my favorite line from that is from the time the Caitiff troubleshooter was interrogating the Toreador primogen of Long Island.&nbsp; The Toreador had survived a brutal supernatural assault but had lost all his fingers in the process, and he had just revealed that he had been wearing rings on each of his fingers at the time.Caitiff: &quot;You were wearing ten rings?&nbsp; What, are you Liberace?&quot;And from our long-running Farscape D20 game:&quot;Oh, he’s a Banik savant:&nbsp; some of the time he’s a savant, the rest of the time he’s a Banik.&quot; -- Rogue/Scientist, on an NPCWarrior, diagnosing a crewmate: &quot;She’s not dead.&nbsp; She’s just a little bit squishy.&quot;Scientist/Pirate with the medkit: &quot;I don’t even know how to begin to treat squishiness.&quot;Pilot: &quot;I think Turan [the warrior] might have threatened Amara [the Banik].&quot;Aristocrat: &quot;Could be.&nbsp; She threatens a lot of people.&quot;&nbsp; Warrior's player: &quot;No, because her character could drive Turan crazy.&quot;Rogue/Scientist's player: &quot;Turan's already crazy.&nbsp; In fact, both of you are crazy, and you can't really make each other any crazier.&nbsp; She could drive you around the parking lot of crazy, but that's about it.&quot;&quot;Wait, so not only do you have to fly these ungrateful bastards around the universe, but when you talk to them you have to talk like a retard?!&quot; -- Rogue/Scientist's player, upon learning that Pilots have to speak very slowly and simply in order to be understood even when the translator microbes are workingDelvian's player: &quot;Do I get any control points back while I'm...uh...in my quarters, having this photogasm?&quot;Scientist/Pirate's player: &quot;I think it should count as light recreation.&quot;&nbsp; &quot;The point is, if she gets visited by Barfy the budong tonight, she’s going to do it in your quarters!&quot; -- the aristocrat explains why the drunk Banik is going to be put into the Delvian's quarters rather than hisGM: &quot;Wait, is Jara really saying that, or is that just internal monologue?&quot;Aristocrat's player: &quot;Everything my character thinks is external monologue.&quot;--we should do a better job of writing these things downryan</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Herpes Cineplex, post: 1496393, member: 16936"] Well, since the focus has shifted away from just saying one thing when you meant another, here's a few quotes from our games. In our very first D&D3 game, after killing the orcs at the top of a dark staircase, the rogue was worried about more orcs possibly being downstairs (and maybe pointing crossbows at whoever might come down). So he drags one of the orc corpses over to the stairwell, pauses dramatically at the edge, then quickly tilts the corpse's head over the edge, as if it's taking a quick look. The other player and the GM look at him like he's nuts. "Hey, they don't know we're not orcs," says the rogue's player, all innocence and cleverness. (They never let me live that one down. :( ) GM: "Okay, they had 345 silver and 14,318 copper pieces." Rogue: "Why is it that everything in Undermountain has a hundred pounds of pennies? What, are they all panhandling on level 3?" GM: "I don't know. It's in the module. Maybe they've been picking through the couch cushions for loose change." Rogue: "F-cking couch monsters. I hate 'em." Paladin: "Where'd the troll go?" GM: "To you, it looks like it just vanished." Monk: "Oh no, it teleports!" Wizard: "Or it [i]plane shifts[/i]. Or maybe it just [i]blink[/i]s." Paladin: "Crap. What do we do now?" Wizard: "I say we keep moving on. If Blinky the Troll comes back, we'll deal with him then." GM: "On the other side of the door, you see a drow warrior in dark plate mail, wielding a dire flail!" Rogue (not involved in this fight): "Oh good lord, what a loser." GM: "What?" Rogue: "A [i]dire flail[/i]? Folks, meet the saddest drow fighter in the Underdark, the poor bastard who got stuck with the dorkiest weapon they had. Look out! He spent three feats just so he could be almost as good as a real fighter with a real weapon! ...Hey, good luck with that dire flail, there, champ. Mind your kneecaps on the backswing." [the dire-flail-wielding fighter then proceeded to lose initiative and got killed in one round, before he could even take a swing at anyone.] Rogue: "Told you so." Wizard's player: "I think you just shamed that guy into dying quickly." Wizard (looking over her spell list): "I could make a sound down that hallway to draw them over there, then you could sneak up behind them." Rogue (suddenly very excited): "Really? You'd go do that?!" Wizard (disgusted): "I didn't mean [i]me[/i], you ding-dong. I meant I could cast [i]ghost sound[/i]." Rogue (profoundly disappointed): "Oh." We've also got a Vampire game going right now, and so far my favorite line from that is from the time the Caitiff troubleshooter was interrogating the Toreador primogen of Long Island. The Toreador had survived a brutal supernatural assault but had lost all his fingers in the process, and he had just revealed that he had been wearing rings on each of his fingers at the time. Caitiff: "You were wearing ten rings? What, are you Liberace?" And from our long-running Farscape D20 game: "Oh, he’s a Banik savant: some of the time he’s a savant, the rest of the time he’s a Banik." -- Rogue/Scientist, on an NPC Warrior, diagnosing a crewmate: "She’s not dead. She’s just a little bit squishy." Scientist/Pirate with the medkit: "I don’t even know how to begin to treat squishiness." Pilot: "I think Turan [the warrior] might have threatened Amara [the Banik]." Aristocrat: "Could be. She threatens a lot of people." Warrior's player: "No, because her character could drive Turan crazy." Rogue/Scientist's player: "Turan's [i]already[/i] crazy. In fact, both of you are crazy, and you can't really make each other any crazier. She could drive you around the parking lot of crazy, but that's about it." "Wait, so not only do you have to fly these ungrateful bastards around the universe, but when you talk to them you have to talk like a retard?!" -- Rogue/Scientist's player, upon learning that Pilots have to speak very slowly and simply in order to be understood even when the translator microbes are working Delvian's player: "Do I get any control points back while I'm...uh...in my quarters, having this photogasm?" Scientist/Pirate's player: "I think it should count as light recreation." "The point is, if she gets visited by Barfy the budong tonight, she’s going to do it in your quarters!" -- the aristocrat explains why the drunk Banik is going to be put into the Delvian's quarters rather than his GM: "Wait, is Jara really saying that, or is that just internal monologue?" Aristocrat's player: "[i]Everything[/i] my character thinks is external monologue." -- we should do a better job of writing these things down ryan [/QUOTE]

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