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Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Weregamer" data-source="post: 1504989" data-attributes="member: 18758">In our group, we always pick someone whose job it is to keep track of humorous quotes.  Here are some samples from our last campaign:Paladin: (after opening a package containing the bloody vest of the murdered Dwarf High Thane)  Are we going to survive this day?Psion: I don’t know.  Quite possibly not.Paladin (OOC): I don't see how that's so bad.  I could come back a little ... well, dead.Rogue: May the gods save me from religion!Paladin: (after seeing fighter Feather Fall to the ground)  How did you do that?Fighter: What, fall?Druid to Rogue (who is trying to act like nobility):  So, how does the ceiling smell?Sorceror(OOC): What if we threw a war and nobody came?!Sorceror (OOC): I have twenty points of Charisma, and they’re in my pants!Dwarf Wizard(OOC): Money doesn’t put undead on the table.  Death puts undead on the table!Dwarf Wizard(OOC): That’s your problem – you had the skeletons set on evil!Fighter and Dwarf Wizard (OOC, to the tune of “Like a Virgin”): Like an undead!  Risen for the very first time!Druid (OOC): No, rerisen for the very second time!Fighter ( OOC, about to attack a Troll): Can I Sunder his claws?Fighter (OOC): I want to know if the door’s strong enough for me to break it down – just for future reference.Sorceror to Dwarf Wizard: Perhaps you should find somewhere other than your bedroom for the Altar of the Gods, Korvar.Paladin: One might as well ask why you are trying to destroy the nation of Everfast.Sorceror: Um.  Because it’s run by worshippers of Bane who seek unending warfare on all of mankind?DM to Pirate: You take eighteen points of damage from being launched from a ballista.DM: … and the Staff of Valunt drops the Staff …Dwarf Wizard (OOC, trying to come up with verbal spell component): I’m just thinking of a magic word.Fighter (OOC): Please?Sorceror to Pirate and Paladin (who are shedding blood to open a Gate to Hell): Emery, Raief, stop what you’re doing.Pirate: So my blood will be in vain, then?DM (describing underworld demi-plane): Half the time, you’re being burned, tortured … the other half, you’re not.DM (still describing underworld demi-plane): You do not die, though that is your first instinct.DM to Sorceror: There is an emissary from the Tower of Divination there to see you.Sorceror (OOC): Good, he’ll know I’m busy.Pirate: I have two guesses – either it’s one of my brothers, or it’s Terrin … or I’m wrong.  That’s my third guess.Druid (OOC, looking at Dwarf whose arm was chopped off): Okay, I reincarnate his arm.Dwarf Wizard to King (shortly after losing an arm): Do I have your permission to raid the armoury for a weapon to fit my current state of arms?Fighter (requesting a ship for the party): Sans crew … not that I know French.DM to Rogue: Is that a coup de grace?Rogue (OOC): Well, since I don’t want him to wake up … yes. DM to Fighter: He starts to attack.Fighter (OOC): I start to kill him.DM: … as your third return swing takes a chunk of him out of him.</blockquote>

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