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Message: <blockquote data-quote="twofalls" data-source="post: 2178405" data-attributes="member: 23718">Gizmo, I've read a lot of your replies in threads on this board, and I like you man, you are okay in my book.I've never called myself a geek because I've always found the term vaguely insulting. Oh, I fit the stereotype I suppose. I've played RPG's for 26 years; I worked in the computer field for 8 years and am the go to person in my family and group of friends for all computer issues. I also despise television and read a great deal. I don't see smoking, excessive drinking, or womanizing as attributes that make you cool, and frankly I don't associate with folks who think that way either, so I just don't believe the people who are being defined as being in the "cool crowd" in this thread (using these criteria) really deserve that title. Now that I'm entering my middle years I've gained quite a few lbs and I have the standard American two car garage and SUV parked outside. So perhaps I fit the popularly accepted geek concept, but I just don't use the term to describe myself.That being said I was a high school football and tennis jock and married the school beauty (who happens to be the most amazing human being I've ever been blessed to know) and she has retained those good looks and sweet personality throughout all our years together. My kids are wonderful and respectful, I do shower every day and wear comfortable nice looking clothes, and I keep myself well groomed. My friends, both gaming and non-gaming are respectable, clean, intelligent people whom I love very dearly. My gaming buddies and I have been playing for a very long time together (between 6 - 26 years), and we are completely devoted to each other and our hobby. I'm not shy about speaking about role-playing to whoever might be interested, but I don't focus the conversation on myself or tell stories about my favorite 30th level Paladin/Assassin either. Rather I explain to folks that role-playing is an inventive creative outlet for my inner storyteller, and I've not ever had someone respond to me in a negative fashion. In fact they have always either been genuinely interested in the conversation or just indicate that it's not their cup of tea and wander to other topics. I think perhaps the reason for this is because I feel confidant about myself and when I'm speaking with others, people can't help but notice that I'm not afraid of who I am.I'm not putting all this into print to say what a wonderful guy I am; I'm saying it all to point out that stereotypes, by their very natures, are false. If you are being categorized by others then I suggest that you try yourself to stop buying into the categorization. You defined a stereotype and then put yourself into it and said this is me. Well that’s BS. You are who you decide to be, and none other. What you think about yourself is who you are, and that is a simple truism. It might not change your circumstances at the snap of your fingers, but it will change them over time, that’s called cause and effect.Personal grooming, hygiene, and presentation are an outward reflection of your inward opinion of yourself. It's been many years since I've had to deal with a gamer that was slovenly. I just don't loose players from my games anymore and so rarely have openings. I've had gamers show up to coffee houses to meet with me about my games before (I always screen candidates) who’ve demonstrated slovenly personal hygiene. Those folks haven't ever been invited to game with us, because if they care so little about themselves that they won't take care of their appearance, what other problems are they carrying about that might be issues I will have to deal with down the road? Does that mean that I'm judging the book by its cover? Probably, but that is one of realities of social interaction, and railing against it might help you release a little steam (which is good) but doesn't resolve the issue.I don't really know if anything I'm typing here actually helps you. You seem like an intelligent thoughtful young fellow and are demonstrating the ability to be introspective by your post here. I applaud you for speaking out about yourself in candid fashion. If advice was something you were seeking then I'd say Gizmo hit the nail on the head. Be yourself, but in doing so I’d caution you to consider the effects your personal habits might have on others and use that as one part of the guide to decide who you really want to be. Best wishes!<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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