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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fusangite" data-source="post: 2178989" data-attributes="member: 7240">Well, the way I lost weight didn't entail me spending an extra second on anything. I just did the Atkins diet and it worked fine.You're just wrong here. Go and buy Dr. Atkins' book. So, if you had "finally" awakened at 10:12pm, you would have had time for a shower. Sounds like a manageable situation to me.I agree. A 45 minute shower is more fun than a 3 minute shower. But, by the same token, isn't a 3 minute shower more fun than a 0 minute shower?Now, I notice you responded to nothing else in my original post, probably because you ran out of time but I'm going with a best case scenario and assume you agreed with it. As for some of your more recent statements,I know you denied it earlier but your values really are incredibly superficial. I have some very strong opinions about things -- opinions strong enough to make me spend my savings on those things or get arrested in the name of those things but they still didn't require me to have a slogal endorsing those things on my chest at all times. If you think that if you are not wearing a label declaring your aesthetic preferences that you are not being yourself, that's pretty darned sad. And profoundly superficial. Like so many men who are committed to appearing as unattractive and slovenly as possible, you are actually way more appearance-conscious than the rest of us. The fact that you don't feel as happy or good about yourself if you're not wearing an identity label at all times is really troubling. You need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and realize that you are obsessed with appearances and need to address that because essentially you're saying, "I'm uncomfortable going anywhere if I'm not in uniform." You're no different from the preppies who feel naked without the right labels on their clothes or the anarchists who can't wear anything but black. What are you afraid of? Are you scared that people will mistake you for a non-geek if you slip out of your geek uniform from time to time? From the other things you've said about yourself, I frankly don't believe there is any immediate risk of that.No. You're not. I'm prepared to bet a minimum of 10% of ENWorlders are in your situation. Hell -- I'm in your situation. So get over yourself. There is nothing special and unique about making your life pretty good except for this fairly common gigantic glaring flaw:The fact that you have had girlfriends in the past and are not a virgin in spite of how you conduct yourself indicates to me that you are probably quite intrinsically attractive. Put in a little work and who knows what you might achieve. I have some sobering news for you. Lots of geeks drink and do drugs... and we're still geeks. So that's neither here nor there.So, you do care about people's appearance but because your tastes are different and, probably, broader, you think that they are superior to other people's. So, you think people should be indifferent to your appearance but you aren't indifferent to theirs. What a double standard!You are lying. You don't believe this nonsense you've just typed. This is just another one of your pity collecting win-win dilemmas. You are attracted to this woman and want to approach her. In fact, you're fantasizing right now about having a fight with her about gaming styles and how cool it would be to be in a relationship in which you could do that. You want us to exhort you to approach this woman. Either we will succeed and make you do something you're scared to do but want to OR you will win the argument and get the thrill of victory and self-pity that comes from convincing us you're a hopeless geek. You're transparent. You're not fooling anybody.Here's why:As with anything else, people have various levels of inherent ability at social skills. For some people, socializing comes naturally; for others, it does not. People who are not very socially talented have just as much need for human companionship as people who are very socially talented. So, they look for activities and communities in which they can function with very little social intuition. Gaming is ideal because the rules structure your interactions. Unlike a regular party where you're nervously wondering what an appropriate thing would be to say and whom to say it to, you can always know what to say next in a D&D game because it is a structured interpersonal interaction.Most people acquire their geek identity in high school; it's a place where your level of latent social talent determines what social groups you can become part of. If you have a low level of social talent, there aren't that many groups where you can fit in. Being a gaming geek is one of the very few that has a culture that accommodates you. It is in these groups that you pick up your tastes of sci-fi and slogan t-shirts because that's affirming of your identity and allows you to recognize one another.</blockquote>

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