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Message: <blockquote data-quote="maddman75" data-source="post: 2179606" data-attributes="member: 2673">Majoru,  I was once very much like you.  I took my poor dressing and style as a badge of honor, I wasn't going to get all dressed up just to please other people, I wasn't going to hide the real me, etc. etc.  I finally grew out of it.  Got a good haircut, contacts, learned to dress, and learned to socialize.  I can't tell you how much better life is now.Sure, I'll still wear my 'I survived orc and pie' shirt to a game, and I do still play games.  But I also go to bars to hang out, hook up with my buddies and just hang out and goof off.  We don't need the excuse of an RPG to talk to each other, playing an RPG is just one of many things we could do.  But do you know what, I'm still me.  Hell, I'm a better me.Take the clothing.  You seem to think that a female should like you for you, no matter what kind of shirt you wear.  Well, sorry.  It doesn't work that way.  Think about the signal you send when you go to a social function wearing a Star Wars tshirt.  You are saying that you aren't going to bother with making yourself presentable.  I show up in some nice clothes, freshly ironed, neat haircut, right amount of cologne - who do you think they'd want to talk to more?  Its not that they can't see past the tshirt, its that you aren't putting forth any effort.Further, I'll do a little speculating.  This is based on my own demons, but I'm willing to bet its a pretty common phenomena.  You don't wear them in spite of the fact that the 'normals' don't like them.  You wear them (and have the gamer/geek behaviours) because the normals don't like them.  From whatever happened in the past, you have been convinced that you aren't worth being with them, being around them.  If you try it will result only in pain.  So you wear the dorky clothes, you don't shower, as a shield so they won't try to get to know you.  I was a master at this, and have only recently recovered truth be told.But the truth is that when you meet new people, they won't have any preconceptions about you.  Weight is NOT a huge issue, as long as you aren't morbidly obese.  I've got a gut myself (6' and 250), and the girls like me just fine.  Exercise is at least as useful in the self confidence and self respect that it gives you as in the physical benefits it can bring.  They only know what you tell them, and how you dress and act is not a reflection of the 'real you', its a reflection of how well you respect yourself.If you want female attention, you're going to have to put forth the image that they find attractive.  I can't express how much happier I am now that I've cast aside these illusions of 'the real me'.  Its always you.</blockquote>

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