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Message: <blockquote data-quote="buzz" data-source="post: 547694" data-attributes="member: 6777">Another S.O. tale... with a happy ending!Like a lot of people, I had been on a hiatus from gaming before 3e came out. After that, I started buying game books and reading them almost to the exclusion of anything else (hey, I had a lot of catching up to do).My wife (my finacee then) was initially concerned. She had gamed with me once a few months prior to this at an annual "vintage RPG" night hosted by a mutual friend. Other than that night, she was convinced that RPGs were for "kids" and my spending a lot of time reading rule books was somehow a sign that I was regressing. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> We sat down one day to talk about it and things got a bit huffy. I think that I was already feeling a little "dorky" about gaming, and her "picking on me" made me a bit over-defensive. I posted to r.g.f.dnd around that time (March 2001, iirc) and started an interesting thread about gaming and S.O.s.Thankfully, this ended up being a one-time complication. I explained that gaming was really more of an adult hobby, even if it was a bit geeky. It was something I really enjoyed, and heck, I was reading more than I had been in years. She explained that she just wanted to understand more about the hobby and why it was so important to me. She wanted to know that I wasn't "escaping" from reality, which is the usual concern for those not in the know. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll eyes    :rolleyes:"  data-smilie="11"data-shortname=":rolleyes:" />Now, her attitude is simply, "Ah, my spouse and his wacky hobbies." She realizes that this is really no different from being a dedicated sports fan, model railroader, HAM radio enthusiast, or any of a multitude of niche hobbies. Heck, she even got really into a MSHRPG game we played at "vintage" night last year, as she got to be Wonder Woman (don't ask), and she loves Wonder Woman.Not to mention, she's become quite a big ST:TNG fan, as well as a Celtic spirituality buff; both of these tend to gel pretty well with all my comic books and  fantasy games. I haven't ever asked her for RPGs as gifts, though I'm sure I could, seeing as her number one gift wish this year was for the complete first season of Highlander on DVD. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />Anyway, I think the upshot of this is: don't just vent about this on ENWorld. Sit down with your wife and talk about how you feel. Explain that while gaming isn't a bigger priority in your life than her or your family (which it certainly shouldn't be), it's a fun thing you really enjoy doing, as well as a legitimate adult pursuit. And let her voice what it is that bothers her about the hobby. Try to see if you can allay her fears.If your wife is a reasonable person, she should be able to, at least, cut you some slack. Perhaps she'll even be willing to give it a try, if only to get a better idea of what it is you do when you game.If she can't, well... you're venturing into an area where marriage advice from some random guy on the Internet is entirely inappropriate.</blockquote>

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