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<blockquote data-quote="aboyd" data-source="post: 5367039" data-attributes="member: 44797"><p>Somebody help me with this. It appears to be terrible, terrible advice. Am I missing something? Let me explain what I interpreted, and you tell me if I got it wrong.</p><p></p><p>Mark, your article seems to suggest, "My marriage lasts because I give in to everything my wife wants, always. And don't tell me I'm whipped, because I assert that I'm still manly. I'll provide neither evidence nor examples to back that assertion up, but you better believe it just because I say so." If we apply what I've read to the situation here, it would appear that the OP should give his girlfriend what she wants. He should stop gaming, and "grow up" in the way that his girlfriend specifies. Have I applied this advice properly?</p><p></p><p>If so, that is terrible. If different advice can be extracted from the article, and yet ring true to the article's text, I'd like to hear it.</p><p></p><p>Also, the advice positively <em>encourages</em> men to play the martyr until they're so unhappy that they explode. Women do this too -- the traditional, "I gave up everything to make a life for you! I stopped working to have babies and raise a family and..." well, you get it. Both genders get utterly <em>destroyed</em> if they follow this awful advice.</p><p></p><p>I really hope I got it 100% wrong.</p><p></p><p>Listen, <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/djuuk/my_dad_sent_me_this_email_with_advice_on_who_to/c10rm2v" target="_blank">here is what happens</a> when you try to be a "my wife/girlfriend controls the relationship" kind of guy.</p><p></p><p>Really, if you believe that the way to bliss is to allow your partner to always drive everything and constantly have their way, you are NUTS. That way lies madness. It's putting blind faith in a fallible person and shutting off your own judgment -- apparently because it's "nice" to allow some other person to do all the thinking, even when they're misguided, misinformed, or utterly inept. That's not teamwork, that's not a good marriage, and that's not manly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aboyd, post: 5367039, member: 44797"] Somebody help me with this. It appears to be terrible, terrible advice. Am I missing something? Let me explain what I interpreted, and you tell me if I got it wrong. Mark, your article seems to suggest, "My marriage lasts because I give in to everything my wife wants, always. And don't tell me I'm whipped, because I assert that I'm still manly. I'll provide neither evidence nor examples to back that assertion up, but you better believe it just because I say so." If we apply what I've read to the situation here, it would appear that the OP should give his girlfriend what she wants. He should stop gaming, and "grow up" in the way that his girlfriend specifies. Have I applied this advice properly? If so, that is terrible. If different advice can be extracted from the article, and yet ring true to the article's text, I'd like to hear it. Also, the advice positively [i]encourages[/i] men to play the martyr until they're so unhappy that they explode. Women do this too -- the traditional, "I gave up everything to make a life for you! I stopped working to have babies and raise a family and..." well, you get it. Both genders get utterly [i]destroyed[/i] if they follow this awful advice. I really hope I got it 100% wrong. Listen, [URL="http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/djuuk/my_dad_sent_me_this_email_with_advice_on_who_to/c10rm2v"]here is what happens[/URL] when you try to be a "my wife/girlfriend controls the relationship" kind of guy. Really, if you believe that the way to bliss is to allow your partner to always drive everything and constantly have their way, you are NUTS. That way lies madness. It's putting blind faith in a fallible person and shutting off your own judgment -- apparently because it's "nice" to allow some other person to do all the thinking, even when they're misguided, misinformed, or utterly inept. That's not teamwork, that's not a good marriage, and that's not manly. [/QUOTE]
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