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Message: <blockquote data-quote="pukunui" data-source="post: 5543506" data-attributes="member: 54629">Yes, I am a control freak. I will not deny it. It is something I am still struggling to overcome. However, that being said, it has never, to my knowledge, been an issue in my gaming life prior to this. And I've been gaming for a long time. I've had games collapse before, but not because I was a control freak. The first game I ran for this group (and by "this group" I mean the same thing when they talk about an axe still being the same axe even after it's had both its handle and its blade replaced) ended badly because we were all getting burned out on the 3.5 rules and the Red Hand of Doom module was turning out to be discouragingly hard. The second one didn't exactly "end", but I stopped GMing it after becoming disillusioned with the 4e rules - but another guy in the group took over as GM and continued where I'd left off, with me as a player, until he too became disillusioned with the 4e rules.Now, to be fair, I should point out that Player #1 (the one who is the only other remaining "founding" member of the group) was the group's Star Wars GM before me. Both of his campaigns collapsed as well, the first because it got to be too much for him (he was spending every single second of his free time prepping for it - and we were constantly doing things he hadn't anticipated and/or shortcutting the encounters he'd spent so long putting together), and the second because we got ourselves in over our heads and tried to fight a Sith Lord who was much too powerful and the party ended up all either dead or in prison.My campaign was going quite well up until the restart this year. I blame it partly on the current module, as do my players. They know it's not purely me.Anyway ...EDIT:Not that I'm consciously aware of, but it's possible. I vented to my sister about this. She has nothing to do with gaming whatsoever, and her response was that she thought my players were all being very passive-aggressive. I'm probably guilty of passive-aggressive behavior myself. I hate conflict. It makes me physically ill. So I try to avoid it whenever I can. Which undoubtedly leads to passive-aggressive behavior. But I'm not sure that I'm that skilled at identifying it (either in myself or in others). Conflict resolution is a skill that I would dearly like to be good at.I think something that's become clear to me in this thread is that I am well aware of many of my shortcomings, and while it can be helpful to have others point them out, I feel like the tone from some posters is very negative, which is not at all helpful. Do people really think that someone will want to change for the better if they point the finger at them and call them names? Instead of just saying, "You're a bad GM!", wouldn't it be more constructive to offer some practical advice on how I can become a good GM? Maybe this is just me feeling persecuted still, but I am starting to feel a bit jumped on in this thread. Would it be too much to ask for people to leave their judgmental "holier than thou" attitudes at the door when they come in?I did ask for advice, and while at times it may not seem like I actually want it, I do appreciate constructive criticism. I just don't appreciate finger-pointing and name calling. Yes yes, "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" but you know ... I've never bought into that phrase. Names can hurt. Even more than sticks and stones sometimes. I guess that says a lot about me, eh? We've already established that I take things too personally. That probably just reinforces it. Sigh ...Perhaps I should shift this discussion to a psychotherapy forum ... ? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /></blockquote>

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