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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 8732646" data-attributes="member: 57112">I do want to add as well that it is possible to name and discuss the transgressions of perpetrators of violence without directly bringing up their victims and dragging them back into a conversation they never wanted any part in, and that it actually might be the best practice. If nothing else, it prevents the nasty habit of using passive voice to minimize the perpetrator's role and maximize the survivor's (ie, "(X) was sexually assaulted" as opposed to "Y sexually assaulted someone"). I've seen a tendency (often, but not always, with the best of intentions) to point to a survivor's desire to move on as an excuse to ignore the actions of the perpetrator, as if the two are mutually exclusive. It should not be a survivor's responsibility to have to continually relive their trauma over and over again as they face the scrutiny of the interrogations that basically always follow in order for their perpetrator to be held to account. No one should be forced to go through that, and I think it is powerful enough that these individuals are willing to share their stories in their first place. A survivor's refusal to put themselves through that should not be a proverbial "get out of jail free" card for perpetrators. This one hits really close to home for me because the perpetrator, Daisy Grant, is a trans woman, and has committed these actions at a time when political and media institutions are desperate to paint all trans people in general, and all trans women in specific, as sexual predators. And... nobody's talking about it. Despite it happening at one the biggest events in our hobby, featuring folks associated with one of the largest third party publishers for D&D right now. It's almost eerie, considering how these types of incidents almost always spark Discourse™ in a major way whenever they happen. And I'm flabbergasted as what to make of it</blockquote>

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