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<blockquote data-quote="takyris" data-source="post: 1848789" data-attributes="member: 5171"><p>So I've been working on a new epic fantasy series based on the political beliefs of Lindsay Lohan, but I'm having trouble finishing it because my artistic muse wants me to go play <em>Shadows of Undrentide</em> and eat Cheetos instead...</p><p></p><p><em>(Oh, darn it. Given my volatile imagination, I now <strong>am</strong> actually imagining an epic fantasy series starring Lindsay Lohan. That's just wonderful. That's great. Like I'm gonna get any work done this afternoon <strong>now</strong>.)</em></p><p></p><p>(Black screen, white letters slowly fading in)</p><p></p><p><strong>Winter is Coming...</strong> (epic music)</p><p></p><p>(Quick cut of a people in mid-battle in the snow, screaming as blades flash...)</p><p></p><p><strong>Magic is Returning...</strong> (epic-er music)</p><p></p><p>(Quick shot of a figure made entirely of shadows, choking the life from a warrior...)</p><p></p><p><strong>And only one person can stop...</strong></p><p><strong>The OTHERS</strong> (music now totally epic beyond all recognition)</p><p></p><p>(Quick shot of bizarre alien figures, obviously CGI, leaping through the forest and tearing people's heads off -- and then a sword lops one of their heads off. The other creatures look over in fear. The camera pans over to show Lindsay Lohan in a chainmail bikini, holding a claymore.)</p><p></p><p>Lindsay: <em>Valar morghulis,</em> baby! (spins sword and lunges forward as screen goes black)</p><p></p><p><strong>Linsay Lohan IS...</strong></p><p><strong>Arya Stark, Girl Adventurer!</strong></p><p></p><p>(Shot of Lohan fighting her way up palace steps)</p><p></p><p>Lohan: Affordable healthcare!</p><p></p><p>(Shot of Jeremy Irons in House Lannister's royal colors. because, really, in a movie this bad, you'd need Jeremy Irons to be the bad guy. It's tradition at this point.)</p><p></p><p>Irons: <em>Destroy</em> that welfare queen before she convinces Jon Snow and Tyrion to marry!</p><p></p><p><strong>Arya Stark: Girl Adventurer</strong></p><p><strong>Summer, 2005... if it's finished by then</strong></p><p></p><p>(Based on the novels and political beliefs of George R.R. Martin)</p><p>(This film has not yet been rated)</p><p>(Well, it was rated "Awful" on Rotten Tomatoes, but that hardly counts)</p><p>(And Harry of Ain't-it-Cool-News loved it)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="takyris, post: 1848789, member: 5171"] So I've been working on a new epic fantasy series based on the political beliefs of Lindsay Lohan, but I'm having trouble finishing it because my artistic muse wants me to go play [i]Shadows of Undrentide[/i] and eat Cheetos instead... [i](Oh, darn it. Given my volatile imagination, I now [b]am[/b] actually imagining an epic fantasy series starring Lindsay Lohan. That's just wonderful. That's great. Like I'm gonna get any work done this afternoon [b]now[/b].)[/i] (Black screen, white letters slowly fading in) [b]Winter is Coming...[/b] (epic music) (Quick cut of a people in mid-battle in the snow, screaming as blades flash...) [b]Magic is Returning...[/b] (epic-er music) (Quick shot of a figure made entirely of shadows, choking the life from a warrior...) [b]And only one person can stop... The OTHERS[/b] (music now totally epic beyond all recognition) (Quick shot of bizarre alien figures, obviously CGI, leaping through the forest and tearing people's heads off -- and then a sword lops one of their heads off. The other creatures look over in fear. The camera pans over to show Lindsay Lohan in a chainmail bikini, holding a claymore.) Lindsay: [i]Valar morghulis,[/i] baby! (spins sword and lunges forward as screen goes black) [b]Linsay Lohan IS... Arya Stark, Girl Adventurer![/b] (Shot of Lohan fighting her way up palace steps) Lohan: Affordable healthcare! (Shot of Jeremy Irons in House Lannister's royal colors. because, really, in a movie this bad, you'd need Jeremy Irons to be the bad guy. It's tradition at this point.) Irons: [i]Destroy[/i] that welfare queen before she convinces Jon Snow and Tyrion to marry! [b]Arya Stark: Girl Adventurer Summer, 2005... if it's finished by then[/b] (Based on the novels and political beliefs of George R.R. Martin) (This film has not yet been rated) (Well, it was rated "Awful" on Rotten Tomatoes, but that hardly counts) (And Harry of Ain't-it-Cool-News loved it) [/QUOTE]
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