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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Beckett" data-source="post: 2870342" data-attributes="member: 781">I've seen both sides of this.A friend's girlfirend->wife became interested in the game, or interested in being around her husband more and since he was often gaming...  Maybe she was legitimately interested in it at some point; she liked the Dragonlance novels, for example.  However, I think she decided that D&D was not for her, but she was too stuborn to admit it, and too stuborn to leave this time with her husband.  So, she kept showing up, but never learned the rules.  Two years went by (and I think it went on this long because as tough as it is to kick out a player, it's even harder to tell a friend, "Dude, you're wife isn't exactly fitting in") and she still hadn't learned the rules; she couldn't make a character or level up without much handholding.  She played variants on two characters: the annoying kender, or the loner (the archer always treading away from the party for a good sniping position, the wizard always with her face in a book).  Whereas most players approached our weekly game with excitement, she always seemed moody, tired, and bored, sucking the energy out of everyone around her.  Finally, there was an explosive incident, after which I declared she was not welcome at my table.  And everyone has been happier since.On the other hand, my girlfriend joined the group with much more enthusiasm, and joined before we were actually dating (she knew most of the players through other sources).  She doesn't know all the rules, but she knows the ones that pertain to her character.  She doesn't like character creation or leveling up, but can do them, and accepts them as a necessary evil for the fun stuff.  There can be small problems, such as she comes from a free-form role-play background, while most of the group tends towards hack and slash, but most of the time it works out.</blockquote>

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