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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dias Ex Machina" data-source="post: 3988464" data-attributes="member: 58907">Okay, you want funny:  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />(The group welcomes a new PC, a Bard named Kaid.  Kaid has something Gilran wants…)GILRAN:  “I give you a 1000 gp to kill the Bard.”JEZZ (NPC):  Why did you guys start a fight in the tavern?!MISHA:  “Cause it was a form of initiation.  Every member here joined through a bar fight.”JEZZ:  “But why the bard?!”MISHA:  “Cause HE’S the only new human in the room.  HE is the new Player.  We need an excuse to get him in the group!”(Pause…)GILRAN:  “Either way, I give you 1000 gp to kill the Bard…”KAID:  “I’m good at talking.  You’re good at hitting things.”MISHA:  “Better to hit things.”KAID:  “Luckily, I can talk faster than you can hit.”MISHA:  “Fine, I’m going to start hitting you.  You talk me out of it.”URIEL:  “I only need 200 xp for 6th level.  This fight will definitely do it!”GM:  “The Atatch criticals on you for 35 points of damage.”URIEL:  “Mother!  I’m at –8!”MISHA:  “What’s that you say?  Level 4?!”MISHA:  (Imitating Kaid, the Bard) “You killed my girlfriend!  I am going to run away and sing songs at you!”GM:  “He is not standing down.  Time for an intimidation roll.”(Marakis rolls…then addresses the NPC)MARAKIS:  “I WILL GUT YOUR FISH!”(pause.  Marakis slams his head on the table)GM:  “I think that was a failure.”</blockquote>

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