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Message: <blockquote data-quote="shilsen" data-source="post: 4098448" data-attributes="member: 198">Yes, that's what I'm saying. Admittedly I don't have either a wife or any children, so I haven't experienced precisely what you described, but I have lost a couple of family members (dad, grandmom) and friends over the last few years. And in no case did it bother me. Did I think it would have been better if they hadn't died when they did? Sure. But was I unhappy about it? Nope. I just really internalized a long time ago that everyone dies, so when people I like are alive I really enjoy my time with them, and if they die I'm not unhappy or even surprised. Like when I got a phone call a few years ago to be told that my dad had dropped dead of a completely unexpected heart attack when he was only 49 (I was in the US, he was in India). I found out the details quickly and left, taught a college class half an hour later, then read and sent out a couple of emails for an hour, went and taught another class, went home, had lunch and took a nap. Did I think it would be preferable if he hadn't died? Yes. Did I lose any sleep over it or change my day in any manner? No.  I can find you a few people who'll swear under oath that I am a robot <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> But yeah, I do actually think that way. In case it wasn't obvious, think comes before feel for me, though they usually work together (I think it's a little unhealthy when they diverge). And speaking of robots, I feel that way because of a conscious choice. When I was 18 or so I thought carefully about exactly what sort of person I should be and then basically made myself that person, and part of that was excising emotions and actions that I think are negative or useless. For example, I don't do worry or stress, I don't do jealousy, I do only certain forms of anger. I don't think unhappiness is a worthwhile emotion and I don't think think grieving for the dead (or most grieving, for that matter) is worthwhile either, so I don't do either. See why I get the robot thing?I can see why you might, from your perspective, but don't bother. I sincerely think I'm the happiest and most contented person I've ever met. And one of the primary reasons is the above. I am mentally and emotionally exactly who I think I should be, and that's because I made myself so. Do I miss out on feeling certain emotions most people around me do? Perhaps, but I seriously don't think I'm losing anything by not doing so. And since I can sympathize and empathize with people who undergo those emotions, it doesn't get in the way of me getting along and interacting with other people either. In this case, for example, I don't feel anything regarding Gary's death. But I can completely understand why and how other people do. No offense taken. I just expressed an opinion and so did you, and you did so in a very civil manner. Plus, did I mention I also removed being offended from my programming <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />?</blockquote>

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