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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Elf Witch" data-source="post: 6865221" data-attributes="member: 9037">I saw this on Facebook in several places and while it generate some good discussion a lot was drowned out by the old " I have never seen it so it does not exist" that and the "where is the evidence". <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/erm.png"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":erm:" title="Erm    :erm:" data-shortname=":erm:" />Even when several female gamer spoke up they were ignored. I will admit that the title can be a bit provocative and I understand that a lot of cis white guys are getting upset because they think all men are being blamed but that is not true. I have been in gaming and other geek fandoms since 1975. Here is my experience. At the 1976 Worldcon when I was 18 I was in an elevator in the Fountinblue hotel. A famous writer got on he had been drinking he started coming on to me and then he grabbed my crotch. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I told con security about it and was told yeah he gets like that after a few drinks just try and avoid him. During the 80s there was a few well known writers and editors that we knew were leeches they harassed female writers, editors and fans. Basically how the con staff handled it was to warn us to watch out for it. Basically these guys were allowed to get away with it and the onus for protecting ourselves was placed on us. I have to say now many cons are finally taking a stance against harassment of any kind  and it has been openly acknowledged as a problem at least with many literary cons run by fans. I understand both Comic Con and Dragoncon claim to have anti harassment policies but good luck getting them enforced. A friend of mine two years ago took her 13 year old daughter to a large run for profit con in Miami she is a comic geek and so his her daughter. Her daughter dressed up as Supergirl not the micro mini crop top of the comic but the version from the older comics. When she bent over to take a drink some creep fondled her. Her mom complained to security and it was dismissed two things were said one that it was all the cosplaying girls dressing like sluts who were getting the guys riled up and secondly that her daughter should have been more careful. I guess the message is if you dare to bend over to take a drink you are asking for it. They have not been back to any con since. In the 1980s I stopped playing DnD one reason because the games I was finding was filled with socially maladjusted guys. My one experience playing in a game store turned me off that. The DM had us captured and since I was the only female PC he had my character raped and he went into graphic descriptions of what was happening to my character. I asked him to stop that it was making me uncomfortable. We had words and I started to cry which I do when I get really angry he stated mocking me. Several of the other players were very uncomfortable and got up and left. A couple of the other players took the DM side and said I was being over sensitive it was only game. The game broke up and the DM complained to the store owner that I had caused drama and disrupted his game so I was one that was banned. There was so much subtle sexism from DMs enforcing strength caps on female PCs to coming up with some off the wall house rules to handle realism of having a female PC. I remember one DM who had kept track of female PCs cycles because it was important to know if they were menstruating because that made them have minuses to will saves but hey we were allowed to rage. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f631.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":eek:" title="Eek!    :eek:"  data-smilie="9"data-shortname=":eek:" /> If you tried to speak out about it then you were told you were over sensitive or causing drama. So as a busy mom of a young child I dropped gaming for my other geek hobbies. I did start playing again in the late 80s but DnD I played Hero or Vampire the Masquerade.  When I started playing DnD again with some trepidation I found a group that still has member I play with today that was in mid 90s. Since I don't play in stores or cons I can't speak about what happens there from personal experience but I have read other women gamers saying that harassment sometimes still happens. I have played with a lot of great guys since the 90s. My son's gaming group has female players in it. So I know that not all male gamers are sexist jerks. I also don't have any trouble walking into a game store now but then I am also 58 and over weight so I am not really a target for it. It would be like harassing your mother. I do think that all of us should do what we can to make our hobby inviting to anyone who wants to play.</blockquote>

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