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Harassment in gaming
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<blockquote data-quote="Elf Witch" data-source="post: 6868193" data-attributes="member: 9037"><p>Over the years I have had this conversation with other women on why we didn't report or make stink about someone harassing us. One of the biggest reasons is that we don't want to call attention to ourselves and end up in the situation of being judged. We have all known or heard stories of a woman who speaks up about harassment say at their jobs and then even if they can back it up they go through hell and it often is the kiss of death of your career at that company or in that field. </p><p></p><p>A lot of harassment is not witnessed and it becomes he said she said and you risk being called a liar your story gets judged just like this woman was by a poster here. We are raised to keep the peace don't make a fuss and sometimes it is easier to just try and ignore it or tell ourselves that it was not that bad. </p><p></p><p>It is a bad enough to be groped or raped and then have to tell your story to people looking to poke holes in it. To face the judgement of what did you do to put yourself in this position. Why were you at a frat party, why were you dressed in a reveling cosplay costume at a con. </p><p></p><p>Go onto any board about how cosplay does not equal consent and you will see dozens of angry posts from men claiming that these women are only complaining about ugly guys that they don't mind attractive guys hitting on them. It is the same if you post a video of a woman walking down the street and all the comments directed at her. Men will cry what is wrong with telling her she looks pretty completely missing the point. </p><p></p><p>I have two female roommates and we were discussing the really annoying thing of men telling us to smile. What gives a perfect stranger the right to dictate to anyone else how to express how they feel? I lost it one day at some guy who told me that. I had just found out that my best friend was dying and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my son to come out of a store. But even if I was just tired or in a bad mood I don't owe a stranger anything. It is the same when a complete strangers says hi and then gets mad if you don't respond. </p><p></p><p>My experience at the game store sent a message loud and clear don't make waves. </p><p></p><p>And even when we do report it we often face what my friend faced with the security guard at the con where her daughter was blamed for bending over to take a drink. </p><p></p><p>You know that this is being discussed on other boards and not all of them are as civil as here. I believe that is because this board is is moderated on a forum that is not then it very quickly becomes a toxic place for any woman and man who speaks up. Words like femnazi and SJWs starts getting thrown around. Most women don't want to wade into that quagmire to try and explain why this is harmful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elf Witch, post: 6868193, member: 9037"] Over the years I have had this conversation with other women on why we didn't report or make stink about someone harassing us. One of the biggest reasons is that we don't want to call attention to ourselves and end up in the situation of being judged. We have all known or heard stories of a woman who speaks up about harassment say at their jobs and then even if they can back it up they go through hell and it often is the kiss of death of your career at that company or in that field. A lot of harassment is not witnessed and it becomes he said she said and you risk being called a liar your story gets judged just like this woman was by a poster here. We are raised to keep the peace don't make a fuss and sometimes it is easier to just try and ignore it or tell ourselves that it was not that bad. It is a bad enough to be groped or raped and then have to tell your story to people looking to poke holes in it. To face the judgement of what did you do to put yourself in this position. Why were you at a frat party, why were you dressed in a reveling cosplay costume at a con. Go onto any board about how cosplay does not equal consent and you will see dozens of angry posts from men claiming that these women are only complaining about ugly guys that they don't mind attractive guys hitting on them. It is the same if you post a video of a woman walking down the street and all the comments directed at her. Men will cry what is wrong with telling her she looks pretty completely missing the point. I have two female roommates and we were discussing the really annoying thing of men telling us to smile. What gives a perfect stranger the right to dictate to anyone else how to express how they feel? I lost it one day at some guy who told me that. I had just found out that my best friend was dying and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my son to come out of a store. But even if I was just tired or in a bad mood I don't owe a stranger anything. It is the same when a complete strangers says hi and then gets mad if you don't respond. My experience at the game store sent a message loud and clear don't make waves. And even when we do report it we often face what my friend faced with the security guard at the con where her daughter was blamed for bending over to take a drink. You know that this is being discussed on other boards and not all of them are as civil as here. I believe that is because this board is is moderated on a forum that is not then it very quickly becomes a toxic place for any woman and man who speaks up. Words like femnazi and SJWs starts getting thrown around. Most women don't want to wade into that quagmire to try and explain why this is harmful. [/QUOTE]
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