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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Elf Witch" data-source="post: 6869171" data-attributes="member: 9037">Yes it made me livid because it is something that every woman who talks about this on any internet forum has to deal with the men who feel the need to get butt hurt over it and bring up the whole not all men rape, some women lie about rape, hey did you know men get raped too. It is an emotional subject and one I have dealt with a lot. So instead of responding right away I walked away to cool off and to explain my position in a rational way.  Which is why men need to understand that women are raised to view them with a wary eye. And yes that put the burden on you. Just like if I am dealing with a POC the burden to show that I am not a racist is on me. Why because I belong to group that is in power. I don't think anyone is saying it hurts less to be bullied or hurt just because you are in the majority. Your example of a white boy being beaten up by black men is an example of this what they did was wrong and hurtful and horrible. But it was individual men doing it and while there is no doubt that there is black on white violence it is not something that has happened to white men while the authorities stood around and did nothing. It is not institutionalized racism being done by the society. I got the crap knocked out of me in a riot in my middle school by several black girls who were just looking for someone white to hit. A cop had killed an armed young black man who had gotten in a scuffle with two white guys in a bar for groping his girlfriend. The racial tensions blew that day in school. I was upset and angry I didn't think I deserved to be beat up I was not racist I thought the cop had been in the wrong.  It took me years to understand the difference between what those girls did to me and and good ole boys sheriff deputies abusing their power on people of color. When was the last time if ever you heard of black people torching a white church or a angry mob of black people lynching a white person?Is it wrong to label an entire group as wrong doers yes it is. But that is not what this blogger did she said that gaming has a white male terrorist problem not all white male gamers are terrorist so no need to jump to the defense of all white male gamers. I am not going to assume that you are jerk I have never seen any evidence of that in your posts. But you should be aware that misogynist men do use tactics like this to deflect away from the issue being discussed. Racist use it too. Having experiences in common allow us the ability to empathize and we should absolutely try and find common ground with them. You just have to be careful that it is done in away that is emphatic but not to diminish what the the person is saying. Let me give you an example POC often talk about how they are ignored by sales people in upper scale stores.  I can empathize because as a fat woman that happens to me a lot as well it is like I am invisible. But I have to be careful how I phrase it other wise it comes across as well that happens to fat people too. The difference being if I lost weight as a white woman the situation would change for me for a person of color it wouldn't until society changes. And that right there is how privilege works.   I think it is important to discuss these things to shine a light on what the roaches are doing. Just being aware that these things happen to women and POC in gaming/geek hobbies allows all of us the ability to make things better. I had a conversation with a younger DM a few years ago about how he had zero female NPCs in power how the only female NPCs we ever saw were either sinners or saints. At first he got all upset he didn't understand where I was coming from because my PC was treated well. How I finally got him to understand was to use his personal experience of being the only geek in a family of non geeks and how that made him feel. He hated that his family treated him like an oddity. I pointed out that in away my PC felt like an oddity. My point is no I am not telling you or anyone to shut up.</blockquote>

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