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Message: <blockquote data-quote="MechaPilot" data-source="post: 6869821" data-attributes="member: 82779">I was inspired by this conversation to ask two of my male coworkers, who are also friends of mine as well as convention-goers, about the topic.One of them said that there is harassment and assault, but no more so than you would find at a concert or other such event where you get a lot of people together in a relatively close space.The other said that harassment and assault happens often at cons, and he specifically stated that it happens more frequently at gaming cons and anime cons.  In particular, he stated that female cosplayers often have to deal with assault in the form of unwanted touching/groping, as if there were a general assumption that it's okay to touch the cosplayers without asking.Now, I wouldn't say that either of these friends is extraordinarily sensitive to women's issues, or that either of them self-identifies as an old-school feminist* like I do: I also wouldn't say that either of them is anything close to being a misogynist.  This is actually the first time we've spoken about a womens' issue, I was the one who brought it up, and both of them seemed sort of bummed out by the answers they gave (given what I know about them after working with them and being friends with them for years, I'm certain they found the idea of women being harassed and assaulted at cons for the things they enjoy to be distasteful).  However, I will say that the second friend is more of a people-watcher than the first, so it may well be that the first friend didn't notice as much of it going on as the second one did.  The first friend actually attended a con recently with his girlfriend, and I'd be most interested to get her perspective on it.* old-school feminism meaning advocating for equality between the genders, but not for special treatment for women, and not overreacting to things like the leaked Suicide Squad set photo of the Joker slapping Harley.Now, I'm a shy girl.  I've had people tell me that conventions are fun, and that I'd probably really like playing D&D at a convention if I went and played.  I've always been held back in that regard by my shyness.  However, I now have a reason to not even try to overcome it.  Based on everything that I've read and heard, even if I was able to overcome my shyness issues I really don't think I'd feel welcome, comfortable, or safe at a convention.Years ago I had an experience that almost caused be to quit playing D&D.  My DM relocated, so I had to find a new group to game with.  I found a group, but I didn't really know anyone there.  During the game, the party bit off more than it could chew, and we were captured.  I was the only female player, and I played the only female character in the group.  The DM proceeded to have our captors rape my character.  He even pushed me to roleplay the scene, describing what the rapist was doing to my character and asking me what my character was doing.I was horrified to the point of silence.When I looked around the table for support, the other players just stared at me and watched as my face turned pale, glancing back to the DM as he described the "action."  Once I realized that yes, this was actually happening and they expected me to be a part of it, I grabbed my stuff and left as quickly as I could.It was humiliating, terrifying, and degrading (I could only assume they were imagining me going through what was being done to my character).  In retrospect, I think I was very fortunate that I didn't suffer a real life assault that night.  However, as fortunate as I may have been that night, it was also a very scarring experience that informs my decisions about playing with strangers to this day.  That's how I almost quit D&D for good, and I have no desire to relive that situation ever again, especially not at a convention where more people can gather around to witness my being raped by proxy.</blockquote>

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