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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 6869953" data-attributes="member: 57112">[MENTION=4937]Celebrim[/MENTION]I think I see a bit more clearly what the issue is. Again, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about any of this. The issue is not that you disagree with identity politics. It's possible to disagree with a viewpoint while still respecting it and the place it comes from enough to reach an actual middle ground. It is that you hold the very idea of them (and potentially the people who place great significance in them, though it could just be me <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />) in contempt. You find them actively harmful to any sort of productive discussion. And frankly, reading your post, I can understand why. Oh, I don't agree with your reasoning in the least bit, I find it a complete mis-characterization of what identity politics are and why they matter, and I could spell out any number of reasons why, but those wouldn't be pertinent to the discussion and you don't seem to really want to have it in the first place. Understand, though, that when you say you're not willing to budge an inch then you are not actually trying to reach a middle ground on the issue at all. We're at an impasse, because frankly my views on the subject are as intractable as yours.Moving on to a fruitful seeming topic of discussion, you raise an exceptionally important point on the subject of consent at gaming tables. I certainly try to make it clear at my table what sorts of topics are or are not going to be present or acceptable in my game, and it does vary based on campaign and player makeup. For instance, I hope to run Curse of Strahd soon(ish...) for my players, a group which includes my partner. She just gave birth to our daughter last year and still has a great deal of sensitivity to notion of children being in danger (or actually dying). Spoilers if you haven't read CoS, but there are a lot of children in danger of, or actually, dying, or having already died. That's a conversation I plan on having with her (and really everyone) and if necessary I will either make adjustments as necessary or perhaps she (or others) might sit the campaign out, or I may just decide to scrap the whole thing and come up with something else. Like you I prefer gaming with friends infinitely more than gaming with strangers, and I'd rather run a campaign my friends will have fun with and feel comfortable playing. I feel like these types of conversations (individually or with the group) will also resolve many of the issues that can be present with a player playing a PC of a different gender or sexuality from their own before they crop up.While obviously this would be more intensive process with myself and my friends; I think a very basic and less-spoilery approach to this consent building would be more than appropriate from game store or con games, and woudl go a long way towards making them more approachable to people whose experiences would make them less inclined to give them a try (while also signalling to people who would otherwise engage in harassment or other uncouth behavior that it won't be tolerated at this table).</blockquote>

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