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Message: <blockquote data-quote="sunshadow21" data-source="post: 6876382" data-attributes="member: 6667193">I cannot possibly disagree with this more than I do and I will almost certainly get skewered for saying this, but this is absolutely the thing I despise most about people who are pushing for doing more about harassment. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion and I cannot tell you it's wrong, but the second you accuse someone else, it's no longer just your opinion. Other people are involved and those other people absolutely have a right to question why you are making the claims you are making. They have a responsiblity to do it in a manner that is respectful both to you as a person and the severity of the claim, but no one has the right to simply claim being offended with no expectation of having to explain themselves at some point to those who ultimately have to make the determination of if the claim is valid or not and what to do about it. If I am the manager of the store, and you come up to me and make a complaint, I will most definitely require some kind of reason or proof before I take any action against who ever you claimed offended you; that may come from you or that may require me to investigate further myself, but simply saying "I'm offended" is not nearly enough for the kind of responses that some people in this thread seem to advocate to counter harassment. The sense of entitlement of some people wanting to end harassment pisses me off; they think that because they are offended, the world must immediately bow to their wishes and do whatever they personally think is necessary to make it end, and that's not how the world works. The world can do a whole lot better in a lot of areas to be certain, but expecting to get exactly what you want when you want it while providing absolutely no reason beyond "it offended me" is pure and utter bs that does nothing to actually solve the problem or promote a genuinely useful conversation. That being said, not everyone has the same right to an explanation; the accused and the person deciding the validity of the claim absolutely deserve at least some kind of explanation, but simple bystanders who try to get involved do not, and those that do get the explanation do have the responsibility of respecting both the accuser and the explanation for the accusation. Even if the accusation proves to be false, they still need to respect the accuser and avoid shaming the accuser if at all possible. The key throughout the entire thing for everyone, from accuser to judge to accused, is respect. The accuser has no more right to disrespect the accused than vice versa, and both have a responsibilty to themselves, the person in charge, and everyone else around to genuinely listen to the other side and adjust behavior and/or expectations according to how the circumstances play out. Sometimes, that means that the accuser will have to change or leave, sometimes that means that the accused will have to change or leave; most of the time it means that both parties will have to make adjustments. Both parties in those types of situations can usually benefit from a healthy dose of walking in the other's shoes at least briefly.</blockquote>

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