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<blockquote data-quote="sunshadow21" data-source="post: 6878696" data-attributes="member: 6667193"><p>If you have found friends to play with that you enjoy spending time with, it has embraced you. The fact that you may not enjoy going to cons doesn't take away the positive aspects of what you have found in the hobby. Not everyone is going to enjoy going to cons or the public spaces this thread is talking about for a wide number of reasons; it's been a while since I've seen precise percentages, but most games still occur in the privacy of people's homes for a reason. I've been to just enough of them to know that I have no particular feelings about them one way or another (if one is happening close by, and I have some free time, I'll go, but I don't make plans around them), and I participated in organized play leagues for as long as I did only because they were my only real option for playing for many years. I never felt particularly unsafe, but I can fully understand never really feeling welcome. Playing in public is really fun in a lot of ways, but I can fully understand when people say that there is a lot about it that could stand to be improved. A lot of gamers unconsciously form habits they don't realize, and trying to publicly confront them with treats and warnings rarely goes well. Most effective change in this community comes slowly and indirectly. Direct changes like those supported in this thread, however well intentioned they may be, usually backfire; that's why I agree with the sentiment, but not the approach or the forcefulness many want to apply. If the gaming community has a larger problem than much of society, it's because we tend to be far more stubborn, and tend to meet force with equal force, leaving little room for direct change.</p><p></p><p>My best advice is to not focus on the aspects of the hobby that you don't enjoy. For all that I am sure the details are different, what I copied pretty much describes my relationship with the hobby for a long time, and still applies enough to make me very picky about who I play with now that I have the option to be picky. If options like cons and game stores make you uncomfortable, look at the other options available to you, and see if they are a better fit. With the rise of the internet, a lot of options have opened up. Don't think you're missing out just because you choose other venues than many other players. Focus on the venues that you can play in comfortably and the positive interactions you have with the players you find in those venues. I can say for myself that when I finally did that, my own relationship with the hobby improved immensely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sunshadow21, post: 6878696, member: 6667193"] If you have found friends to play with that you enjoy spending time with, it has embraced you. The fact that you may not enjoy going to cons doesn't take away the positive aspects of what you have found in the hobby. Not everyone is going to enjoy going to cons or the public spaces this thread is talking about for a wide number of reasons; it's been a while since I've seen precise percentages, but most games still occur in the privacy of people's homes for a reason. I've been to just enough of them to know that I have no particular feelings about them one way or another (if one is happening close by, and I have some free time, I'll go, but I don't make plans around them), and I participated in organized play leagues for as long as I did only because they were my only real option for playing for many years. I never felt particularly unsafe, but I can fully understand never really feeling welcome. Playing in public is really fun in a lot of ways, but I can fully understand when people say that there is a lot about it that could stand to be improved. A lot of gamers unconsciously form habits they don't realize, and trying to publicly confront them with treats and warnings rarely goes well. Most effective change in this community comes slowly and indirectly. Direct changes like those supported in this thread, however well intentioned they may be, usually backfire; that's why I agree with the sentiment, but not the approach or the forcefulness many want to apply. If the gaming community has a larger problem than much of society, it's because we tend to be far more stubborn, and tend to meet force with equal force, leaving little room for direct change. My best advice is to not focus on the aspects of the hobby that you don't enjoy. For all that I am sure the details are different, what I copied pretty much describes my relationship with the hobby for a long time, and still applies enough to make me very picky about who I play with now that I have the option to be picky. If options like cons and game stores make you uncomfortable, look at the other options available to you, and see if they are a better fit. With the rise of the internet, a lot of options have opened up. Don't think you're missing out just because you choose other venues than many other players. Focus on the venues that you can play in comfortably and the positive interactions you have with the players you find in those venues. I can say for myself that when I finally did that, my own relationship with the hobby improved immensely. [/QUOTE]
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