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Harassment in gaming
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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 6886424" data-attributes="member: 177"><p>If they had said, "I've had that happen to me," I would not have questioned it.</p><p></p><p>But, that's not what happened. They instead asserted that they shared the emotional state of one who has been a victim, <em>without claiming to have been harassed</em>. So, I don't see how there's any hypocrisy there at all, much less it be rank.</p><p></p><p>Beyond that is something that comes out of both security training and grief counseling training - you shouldn't compare your own emotional experiences to a victim's *even if* you think you've been through an experience similar enough. For one thing, whether *you* feel it is similar enough is beside the point - if you are incorrect, you have effectively belittled the pain of another. Moreover, while there are some general classes of responses to harassment and other traumatic events, when dealing with an individual, the details of their feelings on the matter will be idiosyncratic, unique to them. Two people will react to similar events, and even the same event, in different ways. If you make a claim to having the same experience, you tend to actually believe their reaction will be the same as yours, and that's a mistake.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My wife is a rape survivor as well. What you won't see is me then claiming to understand how *you* feel about it. That's the real point. It isn't about having credentials, as if having some specific set of life events allows you a seat at the discussion, or something. It is about not asserting you know how others feel. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is not a constructive way to address anyone. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>In a literal sense, yes. But, the fact remains that our culture still generally believes in taking matters into your own hands on occasion - our love of Batman, superheroes, and rogue cops who go outside the law when they have to are indicative - so you can expect that some folks will feel it is okay to do so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 6886424, member: 177"] If they had said, "I've had that happen to me," I would not have questioned it. But, that's not what happened. They instead asserted that they shared the emotional state of one who has been a victim, [i]without claiming to have been harassed[/i]. So, I don't see how there's any hypocrisy there at all, much less it be rank. Beyond that is something that comes out of both security training and grief counseling training - you shouldn't compare your own emotional experiences to a victim's *even if* you think you've been through an experience similar enough. For one thing, whether *you* feel it is similar enough is beside the point - if you are incorrect, you have effectively belittled the pain of another. Moreover, while there are some general classes of responses to harassment and other traumatic events, when dealing with an individual, the details of their feelings on the matter will be idiosyncratic, unique to them. Two people will react to similar events, and even the same event, in different ways. If you make a claim to having the same experience, you tend to actually believe their reaction will be the same as yours, and that's a mistake. My wife is a rape survivor as well. What you won't see is me then claiming to understand how *you* feel about it. That's the real point. It isn't about having credentials, as if having some specific set of life events allows you a seat at the discussion, or something. It is about not asserting you know how others feel. This is not a constructive way to address anyone. In a literal sense, yes. But, the fact remains that our culture still generally believes in taking matters into your own hands on occasion - our love of Batman, superheroes, and rogue cops who go outside the law when they have to are indicative - so you can expect that some folks will feel it is okay to do so. [/QUOTE]
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