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"Healing Moments" with Alyra Kyne
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<blockquote data-quote="Brimshack" data-source="post: 4216546" data-attributes="member: 34694"><p>Oh my!</p><p></p><p>It has been awhile since I shared any Healing Moments with my journal. That is wrong of me. Honestly though, we have been just so busy, what with the assassins, and the random ambushes, and then the whole trouble at the <s>whorehouse</s>, I mean the bad place. It's no excuse, I know, but we really have been busy. Plus, I have been having such a hard time with the death of my friend, Lord Hockinslockits. I know, I didn't know him that well, and people die all the time, especially in this place, but I think the whole thing just had me thinking all somehow. </p><p></p><p>So, I am going to take a minute to sort a few things out, before I resume the day to day events.</p><p></p><p>First, let me make one thing very clear, and on this I am absolutely unequivcal. The death of Sir Hockinslots was absolutely my fault. That's right. It was me. I'm the one that got him killed. I know that, and I accept that. I wish I could change it now, but I just can't. So, the only way that I can begin to heal the hurt is to at least admit it to myself. </p><p></p><p>You see, all my life I have tried to be kind and gracious, and the truth be told it comes naturally to me. When my brother put those kittens down way back when we were children I cried and cried and cried. For weeks, I cried. I just couldn't imagine doing anything so horrible, even if Daddy did say that they have to go. And finally my beloved brother just said I should get it over with and hit him, but you know I never did. I even felt awful that my poor brother must have had that terrible memory of those dying kittens in his mind, and it had to be tearing his soul apart, even if he didn't seem to feel any regret himself. I knew the dying kittens must have been a load on his...</p><p></p><p>Well, the point is that I never in all my life ever wanted to hurt anyone, even when most people would say it was understandable. So, when I came to this strange place and found that magical powers were really effective here, I thought to myself that much at least is wonderful. I can set myself to do what I've always wanted to do and that is to learn how to heal people. I studied really hard and I learned how to make the magic work for that purpose, and I was even getting real good at it. </p><p></p><p>And I guess, ...I guess, that's all I thought I needed to do, but it wasn't. It hurts me to say that, I mean it really hurts, but healing isn't all there is to know, even if you just want to help people. You see, I never learned how to fight. I didn't exercise, and I didn't once learn how to strike at people with my quarterstaff. I thought it was for spell casting and that was all. And that's why I was so useless in the fight down by the wharf. I moved so slow, I couldn't even get anything done once that bad man came down on me with his axe, and I wasn't getting anywhere defending myself. Everyone had to help me. And I was so glad they did, I just didn't think.</p><p></p><p>Because no-one helped Sir Hockinslots. He was up there fighting all those bad men, all by themselves with no-one to help him. They were all helping me. </p><p></p><p>And that's why he died.</p><p></p><p>It was my fault.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Brimshack, post: 4216546, member: 34694"] Oh my! It has been awhile since I shared any Healing Moments with my journal. That is wrong of me. Honestly though, we have been just so busy, what with the assassins, and the random ambushes, and then the whole trouble at the [S]whorehouse[/S], I mean the bad place. It's no excuse, I know, but we really have been busy. Plus, I have been having such a hard time with the death of my friend, Lord Hockinslockits. I know, I didn't know him that well, and people die all the time, especially in this place, but I think the whole thing just had me thinking all somehow. So, I am going to take a minute to sort a few things out, before I resume the day to day events. First, let me make one thing very clear, and on this I am absolutely unequivcal. The death of Sir Hockinslots was absolutely my fault. That's right. It was me. I'm the one that got him killed. I know that, and I accept that. I wish I could change it now, but I just can't. So, the only way that I can begin to heal the hurt is to at least admit it to myself. You see, all my life I have tried to be kind and gracious, and the truth be told it comes naturally to me. When my brother put those kittens down way back when we were children I cried and cried and cried. For weeks, I cried. I just couldn't imagine doing anything so horrible, even if Daddy did say that they have to go. And finally my beloved brother just said I should get it over with and hit him, but you know I never did. I even felt awful that my poor brother must have had that terrible memory of those dying kittens in his mind, and it had to be tearing his soul apart, even if he didn't seem to feel any regret himself. I knew the dying kittens must have been a load on his... Well, the point is that I never in all my life ever wanted to hurt anyone, even when most people would say it was understandable. So, when I came to this strange place and found that magical powers were really effective here, I thought to myself that much at least is wonderful. I can set myself to do what I've always wanted to do and that is to learn how to heal people. I studied really hard and I learned how to make the magic work for that purpose, and I was even getting real good at it. And I guess, ...I guess, that's all I thought I needed to do, but it wasn't. It hurts me to say that, I mean it really hurts, but healing isn't all there is to know, even if you just want to help people. You see, I never learned how to fight. I didn't exercise, and I didn't once learn how to strike at people with my quarterstaff. I thought it was for spell casting and that was all. And that's why I was so useless in the fight down by the wharf. I moved so slow, I couldn't even get anything done once that bad man came down on me with his axe, and I wasn't getting anywhere defending myself. Everyone had to help me. And I was so glad they did, I just didn't think. Because no-one helped Sir Hockinslots. He was up there fighting all those bad men, all by themselves with no-one to help him. They were all helping me. And that's why he died. It was my fault. [/QUOTE]
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