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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 6059447" data-attributes="member: 177">Well, since we are getting into definitions now, I suppose that depends on what you call a confrontation.&nbsp; I'm saying that if you start out being confrontational, you are less likely to get anywhere useful.I couldn't say.&nbsp; Where I come from, &quot;calling him on it&quot; is a relative of &quot;calling him out&quot;, &quot;calling him on the carpet&quot;, and &quot;calling&quot; in poker - all of which are confrontations.&nbsp; You bring the other person out, tell him what for, and see which of you comes out on top.&nbsp; As Danny has noted, You can get across the fact that there's an issue, and find out why, a bit sidewise.&nbsp; Humans will defend bad behavior if you call it that blankly.&nbsp; The trick is to engage the friendship, and the person's empathy *first*, before their ego gets into the mix.&nbsp; Especially if they're being bad on purpose - and in this case, the OP is likely best served by not ascribing to willful malice what can also be explained by other things, at least until proven otherwise.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 6059447, member: 177"] Well, since we are getting into definitions now, I suppose that depends on what you call a confrontation. I'm saying that if you start out being confrontational, you are less likely to get anywhere useful. I couldn't say. Where I come from, "calling him on it" is a relative of "calling him out", "calling him on the carpet", and "calling" in poker - all of which are confrontations. You bring the other person out, tell him what for, and see which of you comes out on top. As Danny has noted, You can get across the fact that there's an issue, and find out why, a bit sidewise. Humans will defend bad behavior if you call it that blankly. The trick is to engage the friendship, and the person's empathy *first*, before their ego gets into the mix. Especially if they're being bad on purpose - and in this case, the OP is likely best served by not ascribing to willful malice what can also be explained by other things, at least until proven otherwise. [/QUOTE]

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