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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 6464104" data-attributes="member: 177">I will not be surprised if these issues are context-dependent.&nbsp; She may be indecisive *in game* and argumentative *in game*, but not in all other matters of her life. The behavior, for example, is consistent with some variation of anxiety - being afraid of doing it wrong (either in terms of performance, or in terms of looking stupid in front of others) can lead to an inability to make choices, but also defensiveness when called out for doing it wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp; This is by *no* means the only explanation for her behavior.Yah.&nbsp; I know of one particular case on these boards - the GM came, asking for help with a player.&nbsp; If I recall correctly, she had anxiety issues.&nbsp; We gave advice, but he also asked questions and *listened*.&nbsp; She eventually blossomed into a stellar player.&nbsp; And they got married, too.&nbsp; It was an awesome development, but hardly the norm.Note that folks tend to dig in their heels when challenged.&nbsp; One possibility is that is what is happening, and that the key is not to say, &quot;Nope, you're wrong!&quot; but to lead the player around to the correct rule less confrontationally, without making her look stupid in front of others.To follow in my own line - also watch how you present it when she's on the wrong track.&nbsp; Similar to the above, &quot;No.&nbsp; That won't work.&nbsp; Try something else,&quot; will tend to increase pressure, and thus increase indecision.&nbsp; You may get more mileage out of, &quot;Well, not quite, but you could do X....&quot;&nbsp; Offer alternatives that seem to be in the same line as what the player wanted to do, helping guide them to a decision.&nbsp; When working with kids, I found walking them through a decision tree can help, &quot;What do you want to accomplish?&nbsp; You want to hurt it?&nbsp; Okay, what are your damaging spells?&nbsp; Well, X and Y have too short a range.&nbsp; Want to try Z?&quot;&nbsp; Remember that giving people &quot;blue sky decisions space often contributes to option paralysis.&nbsp; Give their decision a framework, and they may do better.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 6464104, member: 177"] I will not be surprised if these issues are context-dependent. She may be indecisive *in game* and argumentative *in game*, but not in all other matters of her life. The behavior, for example, is consistent with some variation of anxiety - being afraid of doing it wrong (either in terms of performance, or in terms of looking stupid in front of others) can lead to an inability to make choices, but also defensiveness when called out for doing it wrong. This is by *no* means the only explanation for her behavior. Yah. I know of one particular case on these boards - the GM came, asking for help with a player. If I recall correctly, she had anxiety issues. We gave advice, but he also asked questions and *listened*. She eventually blossomed into a stellar player. And they got married, too. It was an awesome development, but hardly the norm. Note that folks tend to dig in their heels when challenged. One possibility is that is what is happening, and that the key is not to say, "Nope, you're wrong!" but to lead the player around to the correct rule less confrontationally, without making her look stupid in front of others. To follow in my own line - also watch how you present it when she's on the wrong track. Similar to the above, "No. That won't work. Try something else," will tend to increase pressure, and thus increase indecision. You may get more mileage out of, "Well, not quite, but you could do X...." Offer alternatives that seem to be in the same line as what the player wanted to do, helping guide them to a decision. When working with kids, I found walking them through a decision tree can help, "What do you want to accomplish? You want to hurt it? Okay, what are your damaging spells? Well, X and Y have too short a range. Want to try Z?" Remember that giving people "blue sky decisions space often contributes to option paralysis. Give their decision a framework, and they may do better. [/QUOTE]

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