D&D General Help me come up with an in-character sales pitch!

[Faolyn]

I will be playing a plasmoid alchemist in the Spelljammer game that will be happening real soon. I'm going to be playing a salesagent of Miibas & Spawn, Purveyor of Fine Potions & Reagents. I have no selling ability in real life. Please help me come up with some fun sales pitches I can use in-character.

 

[aco175]

 

[DND_Reborn]

With Miibas & Spawn, You'll Not Go Wrong.

Or the longer version...

Try our potions and our brews,
Reagents, philters, and oils, too.
Trusted crafters, we're Miibas & Spawn,
Guaranteed you'll not go wrong!

 

[Maxperson]

Acne got you down? Troublesome mites in your room? Got an enemy whose ship you need to burn down? We've got the solution(pun intended) for you! Come to Miibas & Spawn. Something for everyone!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

 

[Faolyn]

These are all awesome!