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<blockquote data-quote="77IM" data-source="post: 7561064" data-attributes="member: 12377"><p><strong>Dwarf: Cancer.</strong> I guess they both wear armor? And dwarves are kinda crabby? And for some reason I always think of crabs as greedy. Maybe too much Moana influence.</p><p><strong>Dragonborn: Libra.</strong> The scales of justice!</p><p><strong>Elf: Sagittarius.</strong> The archer. Because Legolas.</p><p><strong>Firbolg: Aquarius.</strong> The water-bearer is a nice image for the peaceful firbolg. Also they seem kinda New-Agey, and the Age of Aquarius and all that.</p><p><strong>Gnome: Capricorn.</strong> The water goat? WTF is a water goat? This thing never made any sense. Gnomes can have it; they like jokes, right?</p><p><strong>Half-Elf: Gemini.</strong> They are of two worlds.</p><p><strong>Half-Orc: Taurus.</strong> Big and strong. <em>Bull's strength</em>. Charge!</p><p><strong>Halfling: Scorpio.</strong> Because some of them have a nasty Sting! ...Get it?</p><p><strong>Human: Virgo.</strong> She's, like, just a person. No bow and arrow, no jug of water...</p><p><strong>Tabaxi: Leo.</strong> Of course.</p><p><strong>Tiefling: Aries.</strong> Of course.</p><p><strong>Tortle: Pisces.</strong> Well, they are both scaly aquatic creatures, and that's something, right?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><strong>Barbarian: Taurus.</strong> <em>See</em> "half-orc."</p><p><strong>Bard: Pisces.</strong> Honestly, I just left bard until last and Pisces was all that was left. Fish are cool though, right? They're shiny and they move around a lot and some of them can sing. I think. Maybe that's whales though.</p><p><strong>Cleric: Capricorn.</strong> OK, so the classes aren't going as well as the races. This sea-goat thing is kinda mystical, and that makes total sense, honest.</p><p><strong>Druid: Leo.</strong> I dunno, I guess it's a better Wild Shape option than "sea goat."</p><p><strong>Fighter: Aries.</strong> I think I got confused because the survey said "Ares," as in the god of war, which would have been pretty obvious.</p><p><strong>Monk: Aquarius.</strong> Yes! Because in the monastery where you trained, you had to balance jugs of water on your head, or fetch water from the well using two buckets on either end of a stick that you would put over your shoulder, like Raiden in the <em>Mortal Combat</em> movie. It totally works.</p><p><strong>Paladin: Libra.</strong> <em>See</em> "dragonborn."</p><p><strong>Ranger: Sagittarius.</strong> Of course. This one actually works. Good thing rangers don't automatically specialize in two-weapon fighting any more.</p><p><strong>Rogue: Scorpio.</strong> Because some of them have a nasty Sting! Well, the burglars do, anyway. And the assassins, they use poison. It's close enough.</p><p><strong>Sorcerer: Virgo.</strong> I feel like this one makes sense but I'm not sure why. I guess maybe because the sorcerer is "pure" magic, and virgins are pure? That's pretty weak, honestly.</p><p><strong>Warlock: Gemini.</strong> Because the patron is sort of like a second character; the warlock is conjoined to the patron. They're best buddies! Together forever, just the two of them!</p><p><strong>Wizard: Cancer.</strong> I give up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="77IM, post: 7561064, member: 12377"] [B]Dwarf: Cancer.[/B] I guess they both wear armor? And dwarves are kinda crabby? And for some reason I always think of crabs as greedy. Maybe too much Moana influence. [B]Dragonborn: Libra.[/B] The scales of justice! [B]Elf: Sagittarius.[/B] The archer. Because Legolas. [B]Firbolg: Aquarius.[/B] The water-bearer is a nice image for the peaceful firbolg. Also they seem kinda New-Agey, and the Age of Aquarius and all that. [B]Gnome: Capricorn.[/B] The water goat? WTF is a water goat? This thing never made any sense. Gnomes can have it; they like jokes, right? [B]Half-Elf: Gemini.[/B] They are of two worlds. [B]Half-Orc: Taurus.[/B] Big and strong. [I]Bull's strength[/I]. Charge! [B]Halfling: Scorpio.[/B] Because some of them have a nasty Sting! ...Get it? [B]Human: Virgo.[/B] She's, like, just a person. No bow and arrow, no jug of water... [B]Tabaxi: Leo.[/B] Of course. [B]Tiefling: Aries.[/B] Of course. [B]Tortle: Pisces.[/B] Well, they are both scaly aquatic creatures, and that's something, right? [B]Barbarian: Taurus.[/B] [I]See[/I] "half-orc." [B]Bard: Pisces.[/B] Honestly, I just left bard until last and Pisces was all that was left. Fish are cool though, right? They're shiny and they move around a lot and some of them can sing. I think. Maybe that's whales though. [B]Cleric: Capricorn.[/B] OK, so the classes aren't going as well as the races. This sea-goat thing is kinda mystical, and that makes total sense, honest. [B]Druid: Leo.[/B] I dunno, I guess it's a better Wild Shape option than "sea goat." [B]Fighter: Aries.[/B] I think I got confused because the survey said "Ares," as in the god of war, which would have been pretty obvious. [B]Monk: Aquarius.[/B] Yes! Because in the monastery where you trained, you had to balance jugs of water on your head, or fetch water from the well using two buckets on either end of a stick that you would put over your shoulder, like Raiden in the [I]Mortal Combat[/I] movie. It totally works. [B]Paladin: Libra.[/B] [I]See[/I] "dragonborn." [B]Ranger: Sagittarius.[/B] Of course. This one actually works. Good thing rangers don't automatically specialize in two-weapon fighting any more. [B]Rogue: Scorpio.[/B] Because some of them have a nasty Sting! Well, the burglars do, anyway. And the assassins, they use poison. It's close enough. [B]Sorcerer: Virgo.[/B] I feel like this one makes sense but I'm not sure why. I guess maybe because the sorcerer is "pure" magic, and virgins are pure? That's pretty weak, honestly. [B]Warlock: Gemini.[/B] Because the patron is sort of like a second character; the warlock is conjoined to the patron. They're best buddies! Together forever, just the two of them! [B]Wizard: Cancer.[/B] I give up. [/QUOTE]
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