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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Upper_Krust" data-source="post: 1206309" data-attributes="member: 326">Hiya mate! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Of course as soon as I type that ENWorld stops loading for me.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll eyes    :rolleyes:"  data-smilie="11"data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> Okay a number of points. I like the basic idea of the Bolbox, but I am not sure you are doing enough with it.Whereas the Bandar had an interesting concept, the Bolbox is going to be measured more by its abilities. At the moment you have a solid base but the monster just doesn't sit up and make you take notice.The best plant based monster I ever saw was the Malboro in Final Fantasy:<a href="http://www.ffcompendium.com/~Skylark/ff8/Malboro.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.ffcompendium.com/~Skylark/ff8/Malboro.jpg</a>But as with any such plant type monster its highlight is always going to be its special abilities. With the Malboro it had a breath weapon that caused every sort of bad effect in the book: disease; poison; ability score loss; confusion etc. I'm not saying you should copy something like that, but I think the Bolbox needs something.At the moment you have the Bolbox capable of stunning an opponent; constricting them and it has regeneration (of those I am not sure the stunning really suits it)But I really think it needs something to lift it away from mediocrity.As for your text on the Bolbox itself, I really enjoyed reading it, very raw - definately suited the monster.That is a truly classic line. I loved it; fantastic use of the comma. For some reason it made me think of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan delivering the line.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /> That said, perfect english would have 'needs' instead of 'need' - but I think you nailed that line perfectly and I like it slightly broken, theres an urgency about it.Another thing though; never use actual numbers in a text description (except when you are discussing rules).So instead of '8' vines, you should always type 'eight' vines...and so forth.Also save all discussion of rules for specific paragraphs on the rules. For example in the paragraph on Combat you note that it does '1d4 damage'. When you describe a monster or its combat techniques always keep the mechanics in a seperate section. So don't mention things like '1d4 damage' since thats a game mechanic, not a combat description.So you might want to try something like:CombatIn combat the Bolbox is merciless, because when it fights, it fights for food that it need to live. When engaged in combat it will lash out with it's eight vine like appendages, slapping any prey that enters its reach, constricting its would be food and dragging it ever closer to its central maw and iminent digestion, all the while slavering as the morsels approach.Okay, I'll tackle the next monster tomorrow. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Edit: I was just thinking, what about instead of slapping its prey it has thorny barbs deliver a paralysing poison attack that also secretes its maw...what do you think?</blockquote>

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