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Enchanted Trinkets Complete--a hardcover book containing over 500 magic items for your D&D games!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="SpringPlum" data-source="post: 1975939" data-attributes="member: 10318">I've got some DnD jokes that got posted here a while ago.  Here's some good ones. City and place names could be changed to fit whatever you need them for._______Q: What do you call a good looking woman in Eversink?A: A tourist._______What do you get when you cross a half-orc and a pig?Nothing, there's just some things you can't get a pig to do._______A human father has three little half-elven girls, and one of them comes up to him one day and asks, "Daddy, why am I named Rose?" to which the father replies, "Honey, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your forehead, so we named you Rose." The second daughter comes up to him afterward and asks, "Daddy, why am I named Lily?" to which he replies, "Sweetie, when you were a baby, a lily petal fell on your forehead, so we named you Lily." The third daughter comes up to him and says, "Gajfnkasjtgongodg" and the father replies, "Shut up, HillGiantRock!"_______A half-orc is in a Merchants Store and buying a some bottles of beer, some iron rations for one, some fasionable underwear, and some Mold Spice (The scent of the moment). The woman at the counter says to him, "So you're single?" The half-orc startled, replies "I am. You could tell that because of what I was buying?" She responds, "No, I could tell that because you're damn ugly." _______A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to this beautiful amazon warrior, and tells her "I bet you 5gp I can touch your breast without touching your Chainmail Bikini." Intrigued, she accepts. He grabs her breast, says "I lose" and gives her 5gp._______A handsome Sorcerer walks into a small town bar with his familiar, an alligator. He flops the alligator onto the bar and declares that he has a challenge for the towns bravest souls! The rogues and fighters begin to twitch nervously in their chairs.He says: If anyone in this bar has the fortitude to do this, I will give him my bag of holding with all the treasure contained therein. With that he smacks the alligator on the head with the butt of his shortspear sharply and the alligator’s mouth opens wide. To the surprise of the audience, he then drops his adventuring trousers, and places his delicates INSIDE the alligator’s mouth! He cracks the alligator’s head with the spear again and the jaws close slowly...and after a very pregnant pause, he gives his poor familiar another whack with the shortspear and takes his equipment out of the alligator’s mouth, pausing momentarily to display his unharmed package!He stares around the room imperiously, looking for takers. Yet down to the burliest barbarian, the barroom falls silent. "What?! No one here brave enough?" inquires the cajoling sorcerer...Just then, a slight elven maiden in the back of the bar tentatively rises. "I might be willing to try, Master...but could you not hit me on the head so hard with the shortspear?"_______Why should human men marry elven women. Because with any luck, he'll be dead before she turns into her mother._______Two were hidden for the Super Sensitive.</blockquote>

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