Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Spirynth" data-source="post: 4375369" data-attributes="member: 72366">yeah - that's the question I'd ask.Now, to be honest - I have, in my younger days, been in games/games groups/campaigns where I *thought* there was a valid reason to continue to tolerate excruciating people.&nbsp; I put up with, often, one single guy who made it his every action to dump on, screw with, belittle, and generally be a jerk to not just me, but everyone else.&nbsp; In ANY game we played in together.&nbsp; And why did I put up with him?&nbsp; Because I *thought* that was the only way I'd get to play with (and thus spend time with) the OTHER people in the group.&nbsp; THAT was our single community social gathering.&nbsp; We all had such divergent schedules that this was the only time we could all get together.&nbsp; SO I put up with a guy that I literally wanted to reach out and strangle with my bare hands every game - simply because I *thought* he was the price I had to pay to hang with my other friends.In a different D&amp;D group - it was the only time I could get to hang with my older brother (who was the one who introduced me to D&amp;D back in the day).&nbsp; SO, I put up with not one, but a couple of people who's only idea of fun was to ruin the fun of others.I ended up leaving both of those games - but foolishly took it for waaaaaay too long before I left.&nbsp; I was much younger then.These days - I don't put up with it.&nbsp; I learned that its just not worth the pain and aggravation.&nbsp;&nbsp; I can put up with a lot - but there comes a point when I have to say - &quot;You're twisted idea of having fun at my expense - or the expense of my friends - is Totally unacceptable and I'm not going to put up with it any more.&quot;As people, we are generally social creatures - and we will often put up with some pretty awful stuff just to stay &quot;in with the group.&quot;&nbsp; At some point, you have to realize: either you stop sticking your hand in the garbage disposal just to &quot;be one of the guys&quot; - OR - you accept that you have *chosen* to take that pain, at which point you are equally to blame.It really sounds like this particular player has always chosen to be a pain, and does so knowingly, NOT out of some high &quot;role-playing&quot; calling.&nbsp; Either speak up and be prepared to walk away - or accept that you're *choosing* to allow the conflict to continue.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Spirynth, post: 4375369, member: 72366"] yeah - that's the question I'd ask. Now, to be honest - I have, in my younger days, been in games/games groups/campaigns where I *thought* there was a valid reason to continue to tolerate excruciating people. I put up with, often, one single guy who made it his every action to dump on, screw with, belittle, and generally be a jerk to not just me, but everyone else. In ANY game we played in together. And why did I put up with him? Because I *thought* that was the only way I'd get to play with (and thus spend time with) the OTHER people in the group. THAT was our single community social gathering. We all had such divergent schedules that this was the only time we could all get together. SO I put up with a guy that I literally wanted to reach out and strangle with my bare hands every game - simply because I *thought* he was the price I had to pay to hang with my other friends. In a different D&D group - it was the only time I could get to hang with my older brother (who was the one who introduced me to D&D back in the day). SO, I put up with not one, but a couple of people who's only idea of fun was to ruin the fun of others. I ended up leaving both of those games - but foolishly took it for waaaaaay too long before I left. I was much younger then. These days - I don't put up with it. I learned that its just not worth the pain and aggravation. I can put up with a lot - but there comes a point when I have to say - "You're twisted idea of having fun at my expense - or the expense of my friends - is Totally unacceptable and I'm not going to put up with it any more." As people, we are generally social creatures - and we will often put up with some pretty awful stuff just to stay "in with the group." At some point, you have to realize: either you stop sticking your hand in the garbage disposal just to "be one of the guys" - OR - you accept that you have *chosen* to take that pain, at which point you are equally to blame. It really sounds like this particular player has always chosen to be a pain, and does so knowingly, NOT out of some high "role-playing" calling. Either speak up and be prepared to walk away - or accept that you're *choosing* to allow the conflict to continue. [/QUOTE]

Verification