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<blockquote data-quote="thegrumpyyoungman" data-source="post: 5454684" data-attributes="member: 97257">ok so i can be pretty anal when it comes to being on time about anything in general...not just DnD.&nbsp; but as an extremely dedicated DM (i'm always looking for new things to excite my players...visual aids, minis, etc) i'm finding that my players arent necessarily allowing this dedication to be a two way street.&nbsp; so first of all, know that i have a small group (3 guys) and they all have jobs, one is married and has a newborn (i am married and have a 3 year old) so i understand that there are other things more important than playing DnD.&nbsp; case in point, we can only manage to meet up to play every 6 weeks or so.&nbsp; anyway, here are the issues im having:1.&nbsp; arriving on time - 1 or 2 will arrive AROUND the time i say be there, but more often than not we start 30 - 45 minutes later than when i say be there2.&nbsp; looking at character sheet the night before or day of game - this drives me crazy as the players will have a problem or question with their character sheet or something and will wait until the last minute to figure it out.&nbsp; they cant, and then we have to figure it out when they arrive for the session.3.&nbsp; i have to know EVERYTHING - im a relatively new DM, and my players are new as well.&nbsp; i had a conversation with one of my players about wanting them to be more assertive with their actions and try to think outside the box more instead of just attacking regularly.&nbsp; i gave them a handout that had every skill in a chart form and what was needed (skill) to do it.&nbsp; i told my player that this would allow them to read up on what skill does what so they know what to ask to do.&nbsp; his response was &quot;oh i thought we just told you what we wanted to do, and you tell us how to do it&quot;.&nbsp; argh!&nbsp; in a way, yes he is right, but im wanting them to take just a little of the pressure off of me to know how to do every single thing in the book.4.&nbsp; pre-game communication - i email asking if anyone can play on a certain day...no response.&nbsp; i email again...no response.&nbsp; i email some new handouts and stuff to make their game better...no response.&nbsp; worse, it goes back to problem #2 where they look at all the crap im giving them the night before or day of.&nbsp; like i said, its 6 weeks in between games!&nbsp; they have PLENTY of time to spend 15 minutes looking it over.okay so obviously there are some issues.&nbsp; we have a great time when we play, i just feel like it could be so much better with a LITTLE effort on their part.&nbsp; any time i ask for effort, i get the standard &quot;chill out dude&quot;.&nbsp; so i guess what im wanting to know is first...am i just being too anal about all of this?&nbsp; second, if not, how do i get my players to help me out here?<img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/worried.png"&nbsp; class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":-S" title="Uhm&nbsp; &nbsp; :-S" data-shortname=":-S" /></blockquote>

[QUOTE="thegrumpyyoungman, post: 5454684, member: 97257"] ok so i can be pretty anal when it comes to being on time about anything in general...not just DnD. but as an extremely dedicated DM (i'm always looking for new things to excite my players...visual aids, minis, etc) i'm finding that my players arent necessarily allowing this dedication to be a two way street. so first of all, know that i have a small group (3 guys) and they all have jobs, one is married and has a newborn (i am married and have a 3 year old) so i understand that there are other things more important than playing DnD. case in point, we can only manage to meet up to play every 6 weeks or so. anyway, here are the issues im having: 1. arriving on time - 1 or 2 will arrive AROUND the time i say be there, but more often than not we start 30 - 45 minutes later than when i say be there 2. looking at character sheet the night before or day of game - this drives me crazy as the players will have a problem or question with their character sheet or something and will wait until the last minute to figure it out. they cant, and then we have to figure it out when they arrive for the session. 3. i have to know EVERYTHING - im a relatively new DM, and my players are new as well. i had a conversation with one of my players about wanting them to be more assertive with their actions and try to think outside the box more instead of just attacking regularly. i gave them a handout that had every skill in a chart form and what was needed (skill) to do it. i told my player that this would allow them to read up on what skill does what so they know what to ask to do. his response was "oh i thought we just told you what we wanted to do, and you tell us how to do it". argh! in a way, yes he is right, but im wanting them to take just a little of the pressure off of me to know how to do every single thing in the book. 4. pre-game communication - i email asking if anyone can play on a certain day...no response. i email again...no response. i email some new handouts and stuff to make their game better...no response. worse, it goes back to problem #2 where they look at all the crap im giving them the night before or day of. like i said, its 6 weeks in between games! they have PLENTY of time to spend 15 minutes looking it over. okay so obviously there are some issues. we have a great time when we play, i just feel like it could be so much better with a LITTLE effort on their part. any time i ask for effort, i get the standard "chill out dude". so i guess what im wanting to know is first...am i just being too anal about all of this? second, if not, how do i get my players to help me out here?:-S [/QUOTE]

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