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Message: <blockquote data-quote="orchid blossom" data-source="post: 2720554" data-attributes="member: 12815">The Train to Albuquerque Part 1Ruby keeps her eyes on the street as Jake exits the hotel. "Are we ready to go?" Ruby asks. "I'm dying to get this over with." "Yup, let's go."   Jake gathers their bags and begins the hauls to the train station, followed shortly by the rest of the group.The magical clip was already in Kate’s hair, but she wasn't quite sure yet when she would be required to change her appearance.  Before they got to the train station certainly.  She lengthened her stride until she caught up with Jake..   "Jake, did you still want me to make this trip as someone else?" she asked quietly. "I think it is a good idea for you to get OFF the train as somebody else.  If that means changing before you board then go ahead.  It may be all for naught, but any little edge we can get could be important." "Finding a place to change before we get off the train would be difficult.  The people in the car would wonder what had happened to the little, black-haired lady and where the blonde came from. I'll go to the station with you as myself and make a show of saying good-bye.  There are any number of nooks and crannies I can make the change in there, then board as Madeline." Jake nods in agreement as they make their way to the station.   The train pulls in promptly at 09:43 AM ready to take on new passengers.  Tickets are checked, bags stowed and seats taken as the train rolls off the platform two minutes late at 10:02 AM.Kate stayed on the platform as the others boarded, looking suitably mournful as she said good-bye.  She found a quiet spot and made the switch, and only a minute or two later Madeline Anders boarded the train, taking a seat a couple rows away from the others.Ruby finds a nice spot near a window. She puts her feet on the seat and  pulls up her knees to her chin. She rests her head on her knees and gazes out the window, staying silent.Jake takes a seat next to Ruby on the train, watching her out of the corner of his eye.   Time goes by and Nanuet notices that Jake has been quiet for the ride so far.  As Nanuet continues to watch Jake he also notes that the gambler appears troubled, though Jake masks it when he sees that anyone is watching him.  When Jake gets up making some excuse to stretch his legs and heads off towards the back of the train, Nanuet waits a few moments before he slides out of his seat and follows him.Minerva notices Ruby sitting alone and looking forlorn. She approaches quietly and sits next to her. "Senor Jake is not with you Senorita?" Ruby shakes her head no. "No, he's probably off figuring a way to get rid of me." Minerva startles at the response. "Get rid of you? Why would he get rid of you? Senor Jake adores you." Ruby sighs and looks at Minerva sideways, "That was before I said I wanted to get married." A long silence follows as Minerva is shocked at her revelation. She keeps her voice low, "It was a mistake really I just wanted his opinion about the subject but I think I ended up convincing myself... and Jake, well, he made it clear he was never going to marry me. I mean he said so. But that he never said he didn't want to get married just not to me. I shouldn't be surprised I wouldn't make a good wife for anyone but it still hurts. And now I said it and can't take it back. Things are not the same between us and they never can be." Minerva waits for Ruby to run out of steam. "Surely you are not questioning Jake's love for you? He would lay his life down to save yours. You are his world." She pauses to let that thought sink in before continuing. "What makes you think that you are not a good wife to Jake? Or that he does not love you with all that he is?  In the eyes of Venus you are joined. You know this to be true. She has told you so. Have you lost faith in her wisdom already?" Minerva leans in and attempts to make her point understood. "You share the same house, and the same bed. You eat together, sleep together, work and play together... by the goddess, Ruby at times you even finish one another's sentences. You are the two most married people that I know!  Perhaps Jake does not need a piece of paper to prove what he knows to be true already. Your souls are mated for eternity. Jake knows this as do you. Simple words or an official certificate will not make it more than what the gods have already ordained." Minerva sighs. "I am sorry, I do seem to have a tendency to over preach these days. But do not take Jakes words to heart. With all that is going on right now it is no wonder that tensions are high. Perhaps it is your timing that is awkward and not the topic in question." “If he loves me so much and is so sure then what’s wrong with wearing a damn ring then!” Ruby blurts out. Then she is quiet for a long while. “I wish I could have faith and believe your words. When you speak them they sound right. But if Jake was so sure then why wouldn’t he want everyone to know, to make the promise?” Ruby pulls at her hair. “No, it’s not right between us anymore. He’s not sure and I don’t feel so sure. He said we were like lightening rods and he’s just waiting for us to destroy each other. Minerva, that doesn’t sound like someone who is sure.” Ruby breathes a long, heavy sigh and shakes her head. “I think I am just not made to have a relationship like this. I keep ruining things with Jake, no matter what I do. He keeps trying and I keep screwing it up.  I don’t know any other way to be. So long I stayed apart and kept myself alone, to not be owned or hurt. And now I’ve gone the other way and it seems I want too much. I can’t do anything right.” Ruby pulls on her hair again. “Maybe I need to go away for a while and remember who I am on my own. But how can I? I don’t want to be away from Jake for a minute. But I think I may need to do this, it’s the only way.” Minerva allows a bit of her exasperation to show through in her posture and the tone of her voice. "I believe that you are being unfair to Senor Jake, Ruby. How can you possibly believe that he doesn't want people to know that you are his? The two of you are never apart! And you wear that big flashy ring on your finger," she says pointing to the large red stone which dominates Ruby's hand. "And even if you did not wear his ring, just the way he looks at you far outshines its glitter. No, I am afraid that a wedding ceremony will not fix your dilemma. It is your own fear that requires a ring to be committed to the relationship, because from where I am standing, Senor Jake is not the one who running away.” Minerva gentles her voice and places her hand on Ruby's arm. “I know that you have had a difficult life but you must get over your past and learn to love yourself, Ruby... and to trust that Jake loves you. He is not other men. Why are his actions not enough for you? If you look into your heart I think that you will find that it is because you love him so much that you are terrified of the pain of being rejected so you keep finding ways to sabotage the love that he is offering you.  What else would possess you to initiate a confrontation under such circumstances?“My advice to you is to stop running away and have faith in your man. Fear cannot survive in the light of faith. If you truly love him as you say you do you will learn to stand and fight bravely.”   Minerva falls silent and does not share her own fear with Ruby. I am very afraid that if you do not reconcile this soon that we will lose the battle with Colin Turner. Something tells me that it all hinges upon your love for Jake. If you choose to run all is lost. “I know Jake loves me NOW. I do not doubt that. It’s what the future holds…” Ruby stops mid thought. “What do you mean stand and fight bravely? I’ve been risking my neck, and getting shot and almost dying I might remind you, on a fairly regular basis. What has that got to do with anything?” "Ruby if you do not learn to accept and trust Jake's love now, there may be no future. Colin Turner is a powerful evil and a powerful temptation. I believe that your faith in his love is the only weapon powerful enough fight such an abomination. This is no time to turn tail and run." “Turn tail and run?” Ruby’s anger starts rising to the surface. “You know, I try to get some advice and all my friends say the same thing. I haven’t proven myself? I’m still here aren’t I?” Ruby stands and pulls her hair off her face. “I must be a terrible friend, who never helps anyone or gets anything right.” Her anger simmering in her voice she huffs, “How am I supposed to have faith in someone who doesn’t have faith in us himself? Maybe you should talk to Jake about that.” "There you go pushing away those that care about you with your anger. I love you Ruby and yes, I am your friend and will not be so easily cowed by your words,” she says firmly. "And as for Jake, he has not asked for my advice on this matter, you have. Do not berate me because I am friend enough to tell you what you do not desire to hear. But I do think that you have hit the nail on the head. You must have enough faith in your love for both of you until he is able to overcome his own misconceptions of Marriage. It is not unusual for a man such as he to be afraid of what he thinks Marriage implies.” Breathing hard Ruby is silent for long moments. She lowers her voice. “Maybe you’re right about some things. Maybe I am being unfair to Jake. He does love me and would do most anything I’m sure of it. Why do I want to get married? I don’t even know. I didn’t think it was as bad idea as everyone else does. People get married. They love each other enough and are confident enough to say they will spend the rest of their lives together in front of all their friends and they make a promise to each other. Foolish of me to think I might want that.” Ruby sighs. “None of that matters now anyway. It’ll never happen. I only hope I haven’t scared Jake so bad that he’s thinking of leaving. What a mess.” “Anyway thanks for listening.” Ruby immediately turns and again gazes out the window, watching the landscape speed by.</blockquote>

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