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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Radiating Gnome" data-source="post: 1508" data-attributes="member: 150">Brindinford part III: Pah has a bad day. Irk has some fun.The party of intrepid short folk spent the night in the apparently abandoned shrine of Heironemous. As the night wore on they saw some very frightening patrols drift by the shrine – militia, often (but not always) accompanied by the big skeletal scorpion-tailed devil thing, shadowy figures skulking around in the shadows, and even a pair of Barghests. It was ugly. But nothing seemed to take an interest in the shrine, or in what stayed indoors, so the party was safe over night. And thankful for the small amount of healing that afforded them (including one more point of strength for Uri). They found themselves in a tight spot. Although they’d leveled overnight, they found themselves badly in need of healing, and with only a handful of potions between them which they wanted to try to save to ward off death. But with the shrine’s occupants missing, and the temple of Pelor now a flaming pillar of radiant eeeeevil portal thingy, they didn’t know where to go. But Minimonk had an idea.Before joining the party and dedicating his life to following Uri (for some mysterious reason no one has yet figured out), Minimonk was traveling with the riverboat Halflings who were moored just outside the city. If they hadn’t left yet, out of fear of the evil things afoot in Brindinford, the party might get some help from the spiritual leader of the group, a cleric of Yondalla named Dentheira. Given everything they might try to do in the city (check out the former temple/gate to hell, go visit with the Baron, investigate the Reality Wrinkle, and didn’t we run into some wererats earlier?) they decided to check out the Reality Wrinkle and then go to the halfling barge village and see if they could get some help.Because they knew they were not permitted to carry weapons in the city, they ended up stuffing most of their weapons into Pah’s bag of holding (a tight fit, but they made it). Each tried to secret a few light weapons about their bodies, with varying degrees of success. Then, looking as much like an average group of villagers (if an average group of villagers could be imagined in heavy armor and in torn, blood-splattered clothing) they stepped out into the street. Once they were all outside the shrine and moving across the square things got weird. Space and time seemed to warp – everything got very wiggie, and then two huge worm-things with seven tentacles surrounding a sphincter-ish mouth appeared, one on either side of the party, and attacked. Everyone wanted the bag. Irk, who was carrying the bag, fished out his greataxe and tossed the bag to Eli. Minimonk, who still had only a bare handful of hit points from the day before, ran like mad for the shrine. Pah pulled a hidden pistol out and shot at one of the worms – hitting it, and getting it’s attention. Eli caught the bag and fished out his longsword. And Uri cast Melf’s Acid Arrow, which made absolutely no impression at all on the worm. Then the worms lashed out. The two worms primarily targeted Irk and Pah, the two figures that were closest and posed the most apparent threat. While Irk chugged a potion of enlarge (becoming BIG IRK) and spent a few rounds fending off tentacles and hacking away at his worm, Pah’s struggled was much more . . . odd. She would be attacked, get hit by a couple of tentacles, get grappled and picked up by the worm, then on her turn make her escape artist roll to escape the worm’s grasp before being stuffed in it’s maw. Then it would attack and grapple her again, starting the cycle all over again. Eli moved to the side of the worm, and went to work with his longsword and shortsword, and eventually managed to distract the worm from its frustrating efforts to eat Pah. As Pah scampered to Safety BIG IRK finished off his worm and moved over to help Eli finish the second. As the Battle raged on, Minimonk spotted a robed figure standing on the roof nearby, but before they could try to mount a short-legged pursuit the figure retreated from view. And, a few moments later, the corpses of the worm-things disappeared as well. No one had died – not even close – but no one was feeling very good. They decided at that point that their first stop should be the halfling barge village, and off they went. On the way they spotted a skulking assassin, confronted him, and killed him in a matter of moments. And then the passed through an arch and saw before them the collection of halfling houseboats that made up the barge village. There was obviously some sort of commotion going on – the Halflings were all crowded onto a central boat, where an elderly female and a young foppish male were arguing with some members of the crowd. Listening in the back for a short while, they were able to pick up the basics of the debate. Apparently many of the members of the community wanted to try to leave, but the couple of boats that had cut themselves free during the night had been attacked by some fiendish beast in the river. Those who wanted to leave thought that if the whole community took off at once most might survive, and that was worth the risk. But Dentheira wouldn’t accept that as a solution, arguing that Yondalla would care for them, that she had prayed and Yondalla would send help.So Irk cleared his throat. “You say you’ve got a problem?”After the usual round of introductions (and an brief chorus of ‘the Heroes of Spittlemarch’ in the background) they struck a bargain. Dentheira would cast what healing spells she could to patch up the party. Then they would deal with the river monster, and they would be rewarded with some potions she had been saving for a rainy day. So the party moved to the outermost rafts and took a look around. Every once in a while they could see the ridged back of a Loch Ness Monster-ish but red-eyed and clearly evil beastie swimming around in the murky water. So the Heroes of Spittle march decided to try something new. They made a plan.What they most wanted to do was try to get flanking attacks on the creature – to take advantage of Pah’s sneak attacks. But that presented a problem – a flanking attack would be very difficult to arrange with the existing arrangement of houseboats. The party decided to remove one of the boats, creating a rough C shape, that, if they could lure the beast in there, would afford them an attack from two opposing sides. Irk set about cutting one of the houseboats free, until he was stopped by one of the Halflings. “What are you doing, that’s my home.”“We need to make space here,” said Irk.“But that’s my home, everything I own is there.”“We need to do this. Trust me.”“No, you can’t, that’s my home.”Irk started to hack at the ropes again. The Halfling tried to stop him, so Irk punched him, knocking him out with one blow. Before things turned ugly, Uri and Eli stepped in and settled things down, explaining that the plan was NOT to just cut the boat out and let it go, but to try to tie it a bit further out in the river, creating a space and something they could swim to if they ended up in the water. With the understanding that the boat would be tied and not just cut free, the Halflings settled down and went back to watching the players work. Pah and Eli, both with sneak attack ability, waited on one side of the gap, while the others dangled a big hunk of bloody meat in the water, trying to draw the Beast. And, sure enough, after a little coaxing it took the bait. Most of the party (especially Irk) that had armor or heavy equipment that would interfere with swimming left that armor behind.The snaky head of the beast broke the water as it lashed out and snatched at the bait. The party opened up with a surprise round of missile fire at the beast.Most of the shots they fired at the beast did very little damage – and the poison Pah had treated all of their crossbow bolts with made very little impression at all. But Pah’s sneak attack shot with one of her pistols did make a nice hole in the back of the beast’s neck, and that got its attention. While the party tried to plink away at it, the beast turned on Pah, lashing out with its huge mouth, taking an impressive chunk out of her. The Young halfling warrior Modeir, who had been making eyes at Pah for a while, was also on hand with a crossbow, adding his shots to the fray. The beast seemed intent on Pah, which had her very scared. Irk pulled out his axe and moved around to a place where he could attack it, but was appalled at the poor penetration he was getting. When it nearly killed Pah with a bite, Irk bellowed “It bit Pah,” and took a running leap, burying his greataxe in the beast’s back and using that as a handhold – which he needed, as the beast, peppered with Eli’s deadly archery, chose that moment to dive for the river bottom to try to escape. Irk, who has been beefing up his ride skill while no one was looking, made a very impressive ride test to hold on to the axe and remain on the Beast’s back. With a massive constitution, Irk has the ability to hold his breath for roughly 8 years. And he was quite capable of holding on to the beast’s back while it raced along underwater, trying to escape the trap it had found itself in. The problem Irk found himself in was that he was not able to do much damage to the beast. He had a pair of throwing axes – one masterwork and one +1, but between doing half damage with a slashing weapon underwater and the beast’s damage resistance (5/+2) he wasn’t able to break it’s skin several rounds in a row, and eventually the beast stopped swimming and snaked it’s head around to try to bite him off it’s back. There rest of the party was at a loss for a few seconds, but quickly adapted to the change in plans. Pah and Uri snagged a halfling canoe and started to row out towards the churning water that was Urk’s underwater fight with the beast, while Eli moved up the riverbank to try to get a clear shot at the thing. Irk gave up with the hand axes, and pulled his crowbar out of his pack. Using the crowbar like a blunt spear, he jammed the crowbar into the existing axe wound and tried to wiggle it around a bit, which further aggravated the beast. With the beast continuing to peck at him (roughly 10 hit point pecks), Urk finally had to give up. He pulled his axe free and kicked for the surface, and the beast swam away. Urk spotted the canoe approaching him, and swam (slowly) towards it while Pah and Uri paddled towards him. As he was nearing the boat the water churned and rippled behind him, and Evil Nessie’s head broke the surface again, poised to take a final bite out of Irk. But Minimonk and Modeir on the Barges, and Eli on the shore, were covering him, and an arrow and two crossbow bolts flashed out in the nick of time. The last couple of shots finished the beast, which collapsed in the water, it’s corpse gently bumping up against Irk as he clung to the side of the tiny halfling canoe. “You call this a boat?”The halfings rejoiced. Irk was towed back to the houseboat village, the beast’s body was butchered for trophies (several of the PCs wanted teeth for keepsakes) and the houseboat that had been cut out was recovered without damage. Four potions of cure moderate wounds were produced, and quickly poured down Irk and Pah’s throats. And then a low-key feast was arranged in honor of the heroes. Dentheira offered to house the heroes for a while, and over dinner they talked about the fights they had been having and some of the problems they were facing. Dentheira explained to them the need for well-enchanted items, powerful enough to cut easily through the hide of the beasts they were fighting – something none of their existing weapons seemed able to do (they had a collection of +1 weapons, but in many cases so far had needed +2 or better). This was going to be a problem, but Uri had an answer. As a 6th level wizard (as of the level they had gained the night before) he was able to create +2 weapons. It would take several days, but he could make one, given the expensive supplies and a masterwork weapon to work with. And the debate went on about what weapon made the most sense for him to enchant, and what they had on hand. It was eventually decided that he would work on a +1 battleaxe that they had recovered from Felga’s body (the Grimlock leader). Working with the existing enchantment on the axe would shave a little time and money off the procedure, and it was something Uri was capable of working on (the other two main enchanted weapons the party had, Shatterspike and Irk’s +1 Keen Greataxe already were enchanted beyond Uri’s abilities, so he was not able to build on those enchantments). He needed the party to head for the main shopping district in town to try to find the supplies he would need to complete the enchantment. Minimonk would travel with the others.In the morning, while finishing her watch, Pah noticed a rat that was not acting much like a rat – just sitting in the shadows watching the halfing barge village. She pointed it out to Dentheira, but when approached the Rat disappeared into the shadows.Modeir, who was obviously smitten with Pah, asked the party for permission to travel with them to prove his mettle. “Short help is better than no help at all,” said Irk, which was becoming a party motto. The party rested for the night, were treated again with another round of healing from Dentheira, and then the group – without Uri but with Modeir – headed into town for their shopping trip. The day was mostly uneventful – the caught and killed another skulking assassin on their tail, did their shopping with some terrified shopkeepers, and headed back for the halfling village. On the way then ran in to a group of four terrified militiamen, this time without eeevil escort. “H-h-hey, what are you doing with those w-w-weapons,” the leader stammered.“What weapons?” said Irk, pretending that the axehandles under his tunic were not plainly visible.“Those. Come on. You can’t be in the street with weapons.”“Look, every time we go out into the street, we get attacked. We’re going to carry weapons.”“You can’t. Now we have to arrest you.”DM’s aside: Playing with Irk’s player is fun for many reasons, but this is one of the best. There are moments like this where this mild-mannered, award-winning poet, college professor and chair of an English department, works at a role-playing problem like this for a few minutes, trying to talk his way out of a situation chewing on fingernails and furrowing his brow. Then, like a break in the clouds, he remembers who he’s playing. A smile spreads out over his face, and he presents Irk’s answer to every debate. “I hit ‘em.”Irk smiles. “I hit ‘em.” While the rest of the party rolls their eyes (actually, Minimonk tried to get in on the action but missed) Irk bursts into action, tossing fists around like they’re going out of style. With a surprise action and a regular action, Irk knocks out three of the militiamen before they can react. The fourth turns and runs away, screaming for help. “Nice,” said Eli, who didn’t mean it. Moving on, they returned with their shopping to the village. Pah spotted a rat again, and spooked it into disappearing. They gave the supplies to Uri, who was prepared to begin enchanting the axe, and then the group headed out again, this time to see what they could find out at the Reality Wrinkle. The party arrived at the Reality Wrinkle, and odd and distorted bookstore, and crowded into it’s small front room. There they met the Shopkeeper, who was glassy-eyed and vague. “Can I help you?”“We were wondering if you knew anything about the odd things that have been going on in town?” Asked Irk.“Odd? Really?”“Yeah.”Pah chimed in. “hey, do you have any books about sparklies?”“Sparklies?”“Yeah, sparklies,” she said, showing him the necklace she was wearing.“Ah, yes, sparklies. Well, you see, we are sort of magic book shop, not a jeweler’s book shop – so not, not really.”Irk pulled a book from his pack – something he’s been carrying around since Sunless Citadel(a very long time ago). “Can you tell me what this book is about?”The Shopkeeper took the book from Irk and started to page through it, making a lot of “um” and “ahah” noises as he flipped through the pages. Finally, after a few minutes of very careful investigation, he passed the book back to Irk. “No, I’m sorry. No idea.”Irk, to his credit, demonstrated a second diplomatic option. “How much would it COST for you to have an idea.”While the rest of the party watched the shopkeeper poking through the book, Pah got bored and slipped through the curtain that separated the front of the shop from the back. In that room she saw more shelves full of books, a couple of doors and a staircase leading upstairs. From the door under the stairs she could hear an odd humming. She crept forward and, finding the door unlocked, opened it. And, of course, big ugly badness hopped out. She was faced with an amorphous mass of toothy mouths and bulging eyes. The mouths were making a terrible chanting noise which confused Minimonk and Pah, but the rest of the group rolled into action.Pah, in her confusion, attacked the nearest creature, which was the Gibbering Mouther. She drew her pistols and shot at it, making a terrible racket and only hitting it once. Irk grabbed the shopkeeper by the beard (remember, Irk has beard envy) and started tearing bits of it out, threatening to kill him if he didn’t call off the monster. The others charged into the back room while the beast bit at Pah, chipping away at her and offering a replay of the grapple-and-escape-capades that the party watched while Pah was being mauled by the Worm monsters. Modeir drew his short sword and closed with the beast, trying to prove himself, while Eli peppered it with arrows. A robed figure appeared on the stairs, drawing some of that fire away.Irk dragged the shopkeeper into the back room, still threatening him and trying to convince him to call off the beast. When the poor shopkeeper finally confessed that he was not able to, Irk decided to test his newest feat. “I have throw anything, right?” He waited for a break in the grapple-and-escape-capades and then tossed the shopkeeper into the Gibbering Mouther, which quickly chomped away and engulfed him, while missile fire from Minimonk and Eli finished off the robed figure on the stairs and the mouther.While they checked out the body of the robed figure on the stairs for anything worth recovering, they heard a lot of movement upstairs. And that was where we had to stop the game session.</blockquote>

Verification