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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Krieg" data-source="post: 2201304" data-attributes="member: 5282">I was out of work for almost a year when we first moved in together, and the first couple of months I stayed in contact with a female friend. There was nothing going on with the friend (although in reality she was probably the backup plan) but my wife (gf at the time) had a lot of problems with it. She is also upset that she didn't meet my parents for the first year or so we were together and that she never met some of my old friends from the bar I used to work at. She is unwilling to accept that when I quit the bar I felt that I needed to make a clean break with everyone there as well so I could move forward in my life.So therefore I am ashamed of her etc etcObviously it all goes much deeper than that but she honestly doesn't seem to have forgiven me for the old transgressions and it is all coming out again now.Yep that is what I am making sure of right now, hence my concerns over her showing up at the house unannounced right now. Unfortunately I am seriously considering changing the locks.Unfortunately we are beyond that. She is completely unwilling to work on anything at this point. She was scheduled to see the therapist yesterday (which would be her first appointment) and I am not quite sure that she went. When we talked about it she said that she would "see that b**** today and then never go back again" when I asked who she was referring to she replied "the therapist you are forcing me to go see"! I have no power to force her to do anything, I originally asked her to go to try and work things out between us. Now I just hope she goes because things aren't going to get better for her until she works through some of her issues.That's pretty much how I am trying to handle it. Even though we may be over, I am concerned about her well being and hope that maybe someday I will be able to help her through all of this. Oh I am definitely the former but realistic enough to know that eventually I'm going to have to head on and become the latter.The toughest part for me now isn't so much losing her (as hard as that is), but the fact that someone I care for very deeply is putting herself in an emotionally unhealthy position and is completely unwilling to deal with her problems. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f641.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":(" title="Frown    :("  data-smilie="3"data-shortname=":(" />I never thought it would get to where I was feeling sorry for her.</blockquote>

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