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<blockquote data-quote="UnDfind" data-source="post: 773988" data-attributes="member: 2744"><p>How's this:</p><p>________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>Application for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE</p><p></p><p>Dear Mr/Mrs Whomever May Be Reading This,</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the introduction of the cover letter for my resume. In this paragraph, I hope to provide information that will ensure you take notice of me as someone who stands out among the droves of sheep (other applicants) you no doubt have clawing at your front door seeking a similar position.</p><p></p><p>I am applying for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE, as I feel this particular job is something I can do better than any of the sheep previously mentioned above. My particular skills will come into play greatly while filling this position, as the fact that I am a robot ninja provides me with powers far beyond those of mortal men (and women). Never before in the history of mankind has one so fit for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE arrived at a doorstep in such a timely fashion. As you have probably noticed, your stocks have plummeted recently, and your rival companies seem to be getting the best of you. As I am a machine cunstructed for stealth and "black ops" operations, I feel that hiring me may ensure the total ruination (and possibly horrible mutilation/bloody murder) of your rivals. </p><p></p><p>In conclusion, I believe that I am fit to perform the duties pertaining to ANYTHING YOU HAVE far beyond any others you may have coming for interviews, pining and whining about their wives and twelve children. I assure you that I will be able to perform at a quicker pace, and devote more time to the job than any of the sheep because I have no such aquaintances or kin, as I was removed from any family I may have had at an early age for intensive cybernetic surgery and training in the arts of ninjitsu. Hiring me will be the greatest and most intelligent step you, or any other has taken in regards to the success and continued prosperity of your business. Thank you for your time.</p><p></p><p>Sincerely,</p><p></p><p>Skade</p><p>Robot Ninja, PHD</p><p></p><p>P.S. Attached is a record of my previous work history, please review and feel free to address any questions you may have during the interview.</p><p></p><p>PPS: Please please please please please please please please please please hire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>PPPS: I know where you live.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UnDfind, post: 773988, member: 2744"] How's this: ________________________________________ Application for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE Dear Mr/Mrs Whomever May Be Reading This, Welcome to the introduction of the cover letter for my resume. In this paragraph, I hope to provide information that will ensure you take notice of me as someone who stands out among the droves of sheep (other applicants) you no doubt have clawing at your front door seeking a similar position. I am applying for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE, as I feel this particular job is something I can do better than any of the sheep previously mentioned above. My particular skills will come into play greatly while filling this position, as the fact that I am a robot ninja provides me with powers far beyond those of mortal men (and women). Never before in the history of mankind has one so fit for the position of ANYTHING YOU HAVE arrived at a doorstep in such a timely fashion. As you have probably noticed, your stocks have plummeted recently, and your rival companies seem to be getting the best of you. As I am a machine cunstructed for stealth and "black ops" operations, I feel that hiring me may ensure the total ruination (and possibly horrible mutilation/bloody murder) of your rivals. In conclusion, I believe that I am fit to perform the duties pertaining to ANYTHING YOU HAVE far beyond any others you may have coming for interviews, pining and whining about their wives and twelve children. I assure you that I will be able to perform at a quicker pace, and devote more time to the job than any of the sheep because I have no such aquaintances or kin, as I was removed from any family I may have had at an early age for intensive cybernetic surgery and training in the arts of ninjitsu. Hiring me will be the greatest and most intelligent step you, or any other has taken in regards to the success and continued prosperity of your business. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Skade Robot Ninja, PHD P.S. Attached is a record of my previous work history, please review and feel free to address any questions you may have during the interview. PPS: Please please please please please please please please please please hire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PPPS: I know where you live. [/QUOTE]
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