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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ashwyn" data-source="post: 1758707" data-attributes="member: 5442">That's how I feel too. Getting diagnosed with Diabetes helped explain a few things, but there are still other things that I have no idea of what could be the cause. I have trouble with my memory and concentration and i think that's ADD, and I am working on getting that diagnosed and treated if that's the case. But there's something else that's really bizarre and a little scary. When I get inspired to go write something, I feel excited about it, like I always have, but then that feeling is replaced by what I can only call the opposite, complete and total desirelessness. I have never heard of anyone else having something like this happen, so I'm not hopeful of it being fixed. It's happening more frequently every day, and it really hurts my ability to get anything done. It just plain hurts, actually. Another part of it is my brain breaking things down to their basic level, and removing the enjoyment from them. For example, movies and video games get broken down into a formula in my head, and the only enjoyment I get is from new ones, but I quickly grow bored of them. I can't replay any of my games, even if there is a very different experience in doing so. I just become completely bored with the things that are the same. Maybe I'm just in a rut and it's manifesting itself that way, I don't know. But if it keeps going like this, I'm going to end up with no enjoyment in life at all. I gave up on my D&D campaign setting because it just all devolved in my head into mix x with y, rinse, and repeat. I realized it's the rules tripping me up, so I'm going to get back into it with just the creative aspect, and deal with the rules later. Rules really shut my brain down. With my script writing for my show, I am able to not worry about rules, I just write it the way I want and do what I find funny. I'm not sure why I let the rules bog me down when it comes to D&D. I need to just create, that's what I'm good at. If need be, I can ask someone for help with the rules part. I just feel like I have to do everything, which is a completely different problem.I don't know why this is, but music seems to "fix" my brain, especially if I am wearing headphones. When I have headphones on, and am listening to something upbeat I am able to think clearly. I am very easily manipulated by music. Whatever emotion is conveyed in the music I feel really strongly. I have to avoid sad songs as much as possible, unless I really need a good cry to clear out my system. The more I think about it the more I realize my brain is not a normal brain. I think of that as both bad and good. I'm able to see things that other people can't, in words and puzzles and things like that. Comedy especially. I'm grateful for that, but it's useless unless I can get something done.Sorry for the brainspam. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f631.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":o" title="Eek!    :o"  data-smilie="9"data-shortname=":o" />That sounds like a good idea. Thank you very much. Though after this long post, you might want to take that back. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /></blockquote>

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