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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 543915" data-attributes="member: 11">Wicht vs. mirthcard – Semi-final round – JudgmentLet me begin by saying I was a little disappointed in the incorporation of some of the ingredients – they seemed a little stretched to fit – but since both contestants seemed to do this – this “weakness” in the entries cancelled each other out.I cringed at Wicht’s use of a “band” – which seemed anachronistic to me – but if I simply thought of them as a band of traveling performers and ignored the modern connotation of “band” – it was okay.I wasn’t too sure about the series of events in Wicht’s entry at first and the coincidence of the band having visited (and decimated) the towns the PCs will pass through), while having nothing to do with the actual diplomatic mission – but then I starting considering how players tend to think – nothing is a coincidence in the eyes of a player – so sometimes a coincidence is the best way to confound them.I could just imagine how creepy it would be for the PCs as they arrive in Rumsdale to find the festival of the dead going strong – after just having encountered villages full of dead people – if played right, this scenario would have a growing eeriness – the PCs would know something is going to happen – but not what – and would be desperate to find their contact “in the Bottle” and get their message and perhaps get out of there – of course, the moral dilemma might also arise where they might have to decide between getting what they came for and going – or sticking around to try to save this town.  Moral dilemmas make for good adventures.However, Wicht does suffer from some weaknesses in his entry – the flyers left in the destroyed towns are too obvious a clue – and to build more dramatic tension – the party should have to figure out that the band is behind the death – the band should tear down all their flyers before they leave a town – but maybe one or two could have been torn in such a way to have the pieces of some words left – or a great prop could be different pieces of different flyers that are incomplete or redundant and having to piece them together.  Also, the diplomat’s costume making her the ‘doubtful vampire” is especially weak – I would think that everyone dressed up as undead in this town would be “doubtful” to pull off the guise – there is nothing special about it.I think mirthcard’s entry suffers from too much convolution in the backstory. . .  But that is easily ignored. – Perhaps if he had not been rushed in the end he could have presented it with more clarity – but my place is not to ask “what might have been” <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />The use of the bottle ingredient for access to the demi-plane was a clever variation on the “City in a Bottle” archetype – but mirthcard failed to incorporate the “message” portion.  Sure, there is the magic mouth that croaks out “bottle” – but that is a bottle in a message not vice-versa – clever reversal – but still not quite the right ingredient. The use of the female halfling wizard in an earlier attempt to get to the bottom of the disappearances lends the scenario some verisimilitude –as it does not make the place(s) seem static until the party arrives (a problem with many adventures – most (when fleshed out) SHOULD have timelines of events that will occur if the party does not interfere).  Also, while the goblin tunnels that connect the villages was not in the ingredient list – it again lends mirthcard’s entry (like his last one) an old school flavor – a huge series of tunnels that would take a long time to explore and would make the tracking of the villains difficult – the inclusion of some side-encounters for those tunnels might have been nice, though –or a red herring, if there are still some goblins around who might be held accountable for the disappearance, but might actually make good witnesses to what is really happening.  In fact, if there are secret tunnels in the goblin lair that the villains use – then it would be doubly the secret journey/Personally, I would have gone for a more evil ending – if the young servant became a ghost – I would have had Menegorn rise as a wraith or a wight – so that all those children being put in the bottle when released would become a plague of undead spawn threatening to overrun the villages – but then again, I am a Rat Bastard. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />While, I like the idea of the party might having to ally itself with the boy-vampire – I don’t think the “doubtful” portion of this ingredient was used very well -  in mirthcard’s scenario it is the party that seems doubtful, not the vamp.In the end, I have to give this round to Wicht – It seems he is the man  to beat.Mirthcard, it was a solid try and from your two entries I can see you are getting better at this so better luck next time. . . As for the source of the ingredients, I am impressed that MC figured it out – esp. “Bring on the Night” which is the source of the “doubtful vampire” ingredient – ”the future is but a question mark, hangs above my head there in the dark.” and “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />As for “ghost” – I was thinking “Spirits in a Material World”And “one night show” is from “So Lonely” (off of Outlandos d’ Amour).  The Police are definitely one of the best bands of all time – though I can take or leave Sting (mostly leave) on his own.Now, if only Arwink would show up!</blockquote>

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