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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Cyan Wisp" data-source="post: 6797223" data-attributes="member: 38623">As to "how they breed"...DWARFS: Dwarf women lay dwarfspawn egg-froth in a beer mug (indistinguishable from normal head of a beer) and the males drink it and fertilise it throughout the night via genital apertures in their leathery gut. The resulting union is then incubated for 8 hours. In the morning, the dwarf male vomits the contents into a barrel containing matured beer sediment. A hairy ball (sometimes two) grows over the course of 40 days, then "pops" out of the barrel in an explosion of foul language and Scottish curses. The ball unfurls and there now stands a small, hairy spherical thing. This is a dwarf child, also known as a "Popple", or a "Bleedin' Leech" depending on how much of the father's beer it consumes in childhood.HALFLINGS: Everybody knows that halflings are really just Cabbage Patch Kids grown up. Look to the gardens for your answers. Their secret is well-guarded, like the Halfling language. Probably because the Halfling language is actually just a collection of garden-based pick-up lines. Conception probably involves trowels, hoes, "special fertilizer", moonlight and a fair quantity of moonshine as well to get in the mood.ELVES: This happens somewhat similarly to how penguins conceive in Happy Feet. Partners sing songs all day. The combined resonant frequencies of compatible couples cause things like seed pods to burst in a beautiful Anime-style snow. When said "snow" touches any rainbow or sunbeam, (or moonbeam for nocturnal lovers), there is an explosion of technicolour, including octarine, and, at the core is a little fairy light that swells into something resembling Tinkerbell, including the tinkling sound and fairy dust. The fairy larva grows from exposure to lyre music, susurrus, frivolity, and emo poetry until its wings cannot hold it aloft any longer. The wings atrophy and eventually fall off. What you have now is an elf-child.HUMANS: You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Its just... too weird.</blockquote>

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