Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Queen_Dopplepopolis" data-source="post: 3538855" data-attributes="member: 14323">Hey!  I was "that girl" once!  So - here are my thoughts on the issue...Step 1: Keep it simple.Don't get mega-uper-complicated.  My first character was WAY RIDICULOUS.  Couple leves of Druid, Ranger, and something else.  I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember that I couldn't understand any of it when it came time to play.As such, I'd start at level 1.  Go through character creation together and then play through an adventure with her 1-on-1 so she gets comfortable with it.  One of my biggest problems was being "scared" the gamers would think I was stupid - some 1-on-1 time makes it easy to cross that bridge.Step 2: Keep it as normal as possible.Stick with something iconic.  It's easy to relate to and won't make her uncomfortable.  Kill some orcs, take their stuff.Step 3: Level up together!Once you're done with the adventure, show her how to level up.  No one ever showed me how and then the gaming group would end up doing it in the middle of a session or at the end... and I was too shy to say, "Hey - I don't know how to do this."  Caused me a lot of frustration and I tried to do it myself.  Messed up my numbers and then got called out for bad math by a rules lawyer.  Felt totally stupid.  Almost turned me off to gaming.Step 4: Don't be weird when you game.Once you've been playing for a while, if it's logical for your characters to strike up a romance, go for it.  However, just because she's your gf doesn't mean your characters need to hook up.  Trust me, it's weird for everyone.Also, don't give her any sort of special treatment unless it's appropriate in character.  Treat her character like the rest of the players.  These two things will help reduce friction between you, your gf, and long-time players that almost inevitably arise when "the girlfriend" comes to play.  That friction can, and has, ripped apart gaming groups around the world.Step 5: Be patient as she learns the rules.Don't let a rules lawyer get all up in her business, but be sure to correct her when she breaks the ruels.  There's a happy medium somewhere between total jack-hole and way-too-relaxed.  Find it and stick to it.  Nothing sucks more than being the new girl at the gaming table and having people snap at you for not taking your AoO or adding your dex bonus to damage or whatever it is you're doing wrong.Step 6: If she doesn't like it, don't pressure her.If it's not her cup of tea, don't push it on her.  Let her know that she can tell you if she does, or does not, like the game.  Sadly, it's not for everyone so prepare yourself.</blockquote>

Verification